Wednesday, September 05, 2012
Chuck's comments on Kayla Harrison, Olympic Gold Medalist in Olympic Judo:
=== Beginning of quoted segment ===
Kayla's journey to Olympic gold, as well as her triumph over tragedy, models a path that victims of any form of abuse or past entrapments can take to attain recovery, freedom and their dreams.
Here are a few of the lessons that her life and actions teach us:
1) Don't let being a victim define or paralyze you any more than it already has; rather, use it as a catalyst to grow, overcome and fuel victory.
The U.K.'s Guardian retold how Kayla said everything in her life the good, the bad and the ugly was used to help her overcome and reach her goals: "Kind of just reflecting back on my life. Everything it's taken to get here, and everything that I've gone through."
Kayla reminded me of a critical fact in personal growth: Your past can be the fire for victory in your present; it doesn't have to paralyze and enslave you. Triumph over trauma can be our greatest achievement because it helps us in myriad ways. In her own words, Kayla said her journey "is proof that you're only a victim if you allow yourself to be. Nothing can stop you."
Read, learn and grow. As PAVE Inc.'s website notes, "education and awareness are essential to both prevention and healing."
2) Surround yourself with people who will push and sometimes even pull you toward health, wholeness and your goals.
=== end of quote ====
I'm not allowed to quote all of it...
So anyway this is an issue I'm still struggling with.
I'm still kind of paralyzed in parts of my life... still have a tendency to just go numb and not really feel....anything.
I remember when I was 18 or 19 and finally out of the house, I felt powerful. But I guess there were some things I didn't fully understand about family dynamics, about dysfunctional relationships, about personal boundaries, about what exactly is "respect" and what exactly is "honor"... things like that? When do I "honor" the abuser just because of their seniority or because of the relationship dynamics, who they are relative to my place in the family. I read where I'm to honor a person but not respect what they do. And when I reached out to try to stop and was not believed, and later on, the others in the family overreacted and now the family is spread to the four winds, so I don't even feel respected by the siblings who were not affected. Not sure how to put Humpty Dumpty back together again...because she, well, me is just not altogether there. Now I have problems hugging my own child, for fear that I will turn into the same monster (statistics claim that the abused grow up to be abusers. I know statistics can lie.... I also know statistically the abused are more likely to become obese...).
Why do I feel so down when I'm trying to look up to a better example? Where does the forgiveness come into play, and still care for elderly family members who didn't stop the pain when they could have?
I'm the only child that still lives in the same area, still mains any contact with my elderly relatives.... The other siblings essentially have nothing to do with me, with each other, with their elderly relatives... (I've no idea if anyone on SP knows me and my family personally... a few have met "at" me but I wouldn't say they know my family, other than my DH and DS.).
Monday, September 03, 2012
I was looking over Proverbs 31 earlier today, feeling lost and floundering. I've really disliked the MSDRPEPPER name, because much as I liked drinking DrPepper as a young adult, I always * knew * it was not a good choice of beverage. I grew up drinking water or fresh squeezed orange juice (we had a local supply of fresh oranges and other citrus fruits, when I was a child in 1960's vintage Florida.).
Some have noticed my sig line about taking nominations for a new name (which reminds me, I need to change, that too!). I'd kick over various ideas incorporating "water", and that felt limiting. So I just never thought anything felt particularly "right". Not saying this new name is right, since those who know me personally and the pigstye I live in, the cluttered mess, the Can't Have Anyone Over State of CHAOS (the FlyLady Sparkers know what's up with that!), and on and on, they will tell you I'm certainly FAR from being a Perfect Proverbs 31 woman. But sometimes we just need those bigger goals, something to work towards, and for some, maybe it's climbing Mt. Everest. And who knows?? maybe some day that will be something I want to do after I feel like I have a handle on other aspects of my life.
Also I was struggling with making other goals for myself and various things I'd think of just seemed so... Selfish... Shallow... and I didn't want that. Like, just losing weight so my fanny would look good for someone who had the misfortune of having to follow behind my behind? (hopefully not while lined up at the nearest All-You-Can-Eat-Trough-Style" restaurant.).
Reading through the Spark this morning in Chapter 2, I think something just clicked with me... about weight loss not being the ultimate goal, but really more as a mini-goal or almost like a tool to help you reach other goals in life (even though I know a goal of losing 120 pounds is big... or a goal of 200 or 300 pounds...we know who we are and what we want to achieve.) But I know I was guilty of thinking or maybe just putting that goal in a higher status than it needed to be - because the life goals are so much more than that (and I need to flesh that out more for myself in the immediate future.
The Spark Vision/Collage Team... I just saw that it existed yesterday or today, I forget, and there again, people making the comments about goals for what they wanted to be, to do, to become, in the process alongside or in addition or beyond weight loss. The weight loss becomes a tool to help achieve goals, perhaps? Not sure where I am on that thought. Will edit as needed...
The sermon this past Sabbath touched on choosing the right goals...
getting ready for bed (new goal to get to sleep before 11 pm.), so I have a lot of thoughts I won't be able to go into tonight. Will have to come back tomorrow to work in it some more...
The Spark FlyLady team - again with the goals... (more specifically about cleaning my clutter and I do also want to finish reading my book "Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?" by Peter Walsh (? I think his name is?)
this is totally a cluttered blog from a cluttered mind, and I'm so sorry I'm such a bad example of clarity of thought. Back to Proverbs 31 - some of the things this Respected Lady was praised for seemed right in line with many of Spark's suggested goals...
Will need to list some of them...
(NKJV just for clarity and I know there are other great translations of the Bible. I know there are other Spiritual Writings,, but if you want bible studies, maybe ask your Rabbi, Priest, Shaman, Iman, Minister, Goddess or whoever you look to for your spiritual advise. I mean no offense or disrespect - there area many people on SparkPeople with many different Holy Books they use and are free to use. Here, I'm just quoting Spiritual words that I am more familiar with, because they looked like good goals for me, and because i believe they will help clarify some of thr thoughts I had in answering the concerns and questions several have asked about why I changed my screen name...)
The Virtuous Wife
10 Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
You know? Like shopping for clothes? She might have liked going to Kohl's, right? Trying to find good merchandise at a fair price.
Works with her hands? To me that could mean arts & crafts? Or just cleaning and cooking and all that needs to happen. So those seemed like reasonable goals.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
Shopping for food? And we do love our imported foods - pineapple doesn't grow in Kansas, Toto. Neither does St. Dalfour black cherry preserved, imported from France. Or Kansas wheat, exported all over the world. So I could relate to this. We want to feed our bodies and our families good quality foods and some of OT
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
See here? Sista pumps iron! Strength Training! I know I should be doing it but I just have not gotten my Strength Train Streak going! I need to!!
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
Yes, I need to show more charity and kindness to those less fortunate. I should not be holding back out because I am so tired, ashamed, lacking energy to be a positive light...
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
This hits home but will need to ponder this more and I am running out of time for my curfew.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
Her blogs are likely shorter and more succinct?
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
How can my kid respect me if I don't respect me?
29 Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.
Some of this is a bit over my head, but things with were special points for me, things I felt like I could relate to, could improve upon. The rest I'm sure applies but I'm just not there yet. Maybe don't completely understand how they apply to me, or how to incorporate those. Maybe they are more distantly future goals that I'll be able to see clearer as I progress farther along in my journey from where I am here and now.
I'm fairly sure I forgot things and will edit more later.
Thanks for putting up with my cluttered writing!!
Friday, August 24, 2012
After working the blood drive today, donating blood twice! (once for red cross, and another set at Doctor's office where I went to see about sleep issues - they stuck the "other" arm after I warned them that it didn't have good veins, and ended up having to stick the first one on a different place. Thankfully not too painful!).... I'm really not looking forward to doing this Parent Swap Day at DS's high school. Many reasons...
I'm hoping it is sort of a trick to get parents in for sort of a Parent Teacher Conference, but "en masse"? Especially as it is only half a day...
Too tired to think ...
Friday, August 17, 2012
Not sure if I'm paranoid or in early stages of "forgetsitsheimers"?
I was commenting on a person's blog. It brought to my mind the concept of "Choffy" - a brewed chocolate drink that was in the news last fall. I had this feeling that I had done some research (and I know I did, as I found evidence of it in my email account off of SparkPeople.).
Tried searching the Spark Search for my blogs, to find one on Choffy. It turned up two hits - one a comment I made on a SparkFriend's page after she had mentioned it earlier, and one claiming to be in my SparkBlogs ending on "page 33" and dated Sept. 25, 2011. I went back to my blogs to September... October... nothing is there.
At least none that I can see, so far, with "Choffy" in the title. I may have mentioned it in a blog with a very ambiguous title. I have gone back to read some of those ones with "Monday" or other not-very-descriptive-titles, just to read to see if they have any mention of Choffy. So far, no dice. (I did, however, find older and boring blogs of mine where I had not yet seen the "add link" button up above me in the screaming orange link, and so was just pasting in web links and wondering why they were not clickable inside my blog. I've fixed a few of them, but that's gonna have to be an ongoing science project for later.).
Hmmm puzzled. Just gotta keep looking but I don't have any references before September 25, 2011 in either my email or here in SparkPeople. Did I write it? or did it get deleted somehow? for some reason?
I was under the impression from others who have had blogs that violaed rules, that they received warning notes from SparkPeople coaches or gurus, or at least letters requesting that the blogs be fixed or words deleted or whatever, but I never received anything like that.
So, I'm just not sure. Did I dream it? or is it there and I can't find it? or did it get vaporized out to Area 52? (under a different jurisdiction from Area 51.).
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
So I'm a bit strange...
Awhile ago, in the "health food section" of our local grocery store, I recently discovered "Better Oats" brand of basically pre-measured packages of oatmeal or "multigrain hot cereal with flax"
Allegedly they have a website, but I'm not getting it to work this morning. The Facebook page works fine (if you are on Facebook)....
(There's also an official Twitter Feed, but I'll let you look it up if that's what you want to look at!?).
They even have CHOCOLATE oatmeal! Yummy! The Chai flavored one doesn't have enough cinnamon in it to suit my taste, so I basically add more to it. I'll also add my almonds, walnuts, pecans, frozen berries, bananas, coconut oil, ghee, almond milk, coconut milk, hemp milk, (not all together, all the time!! I'm not that goofy-goosey!! - these are just some of the add-ins I have used!!).
Anyway so I open the packet, pour the oats (or today, multigrain hot cereal with flax) into my SparkPeople coffee mug (or whatever other coffee mug that is actually clean enough to use.), turn on the K-Kup machine (or if it's on and the ready lights are on, I flip it up and down like I was putting in a new K-Cup, even if I don't put any K-Cup in there at all, or just re-use the one that's in there for a very watered down "coffee" flavored oatmeal...which is, um, kinda weird, but, I got kinda used to it....), and I usually hit the smaller cup size water level indicator (I have the older basic model with just the two sizes - one is like 8-10 oz of water and the other is more like 14 oz of water).
Then the water comes out already hot (mine isn't scalding, don't know if that's true of all K-Cups, or if mine is not "right in the head" so far as the programming?) and at first, I would go ahead and start adding my other stuff (butters, oils, nuts, fruits, as described above, whatever I had or was in the mood for or actually conscious enough to think about adding.).
Nowadays, I let it sit a few more minutes and let it soak up into the grains more. There will still be more water when it is done - which I just drink up to a more acceptable level. (There is more water because the Better Oats people's gimmick is that you measure the cold water inside the package first, and then dump it out into a bowl to heat the water in a microwave or into a pan on the stove. It's just a fast way to measure the water without having to dirty up a measuring cup and not risk burning yourself pouring the hot water into the bag to cook it. So they are assuming something like 4-6 oz of water, but the K-Cup's smallest cup size is like 10 oz of water etc. This is assuming USA measure, of course. Sorry, I'm not smart enough or awake enough to figure out grams and all that metric stuff.).
Side note: While messing around with the Facebook page, I discovered a $1.00 coupon off of three boxes (supplies limited)!! SCORE!
Okay so far, the flavors/models I've tried:
(oh hey, they just woke their computer up now - here's the product link I'm looking at now... www.betteroats.com/find-your-flavor/ )
Oat Revolution Thick & Hearty
* Apples & Cinnamon
* Cinnamon & Spice
* Maple & Brown Sugar (can't remember if I had the "instant Oats" or the "Old-fashioned Oats with Flax)
* Strawberries & Cream
Lavish - this is the chocolate one, yummo! (add more sweetener if you want, or even more chocolate!)
Raw Free & Simple (organic)
* multigrain hot cereal with flax - "Chai Spiced" flavor
Evidently they make other models (I suspect to target other demographics in other parts of the country?) - "Mom's Best" "Muffins" "Abundance" but I haven't seen those (yet). The other thing is they might be targeting like health food stores with those models (different flavors within each product line.).
Hey, wonder if they'd ship a case to SparkCoaches to try out and write for their DailyBlog or for a CONTEST?? Ya Think?
Somehow I've gotten off track here... I started off talking about my unorthodox cooking methods and ended up on a non-stop "Ronco-Oatmeal-Not-On-TV-You-Can-Get-LOTS-
of-Flavors-For-$19.95" commercial. I'm terrible. And I'm stalling. My oats are cold by now, and I've not even done my rebounding yet (it's raining outside!).
It occurs to me these might be super convenient for Worker Bees to take to work with them to help deal with the hungries that happen. We all know food choices are not always great in the Cube Farms. (does anyone beside me know about the Cube Farm Lady on YouTube "Cube News 1"? )... Also ... I've had them for dinner - except, instead of the sweets, I put in cheese, savory seasonings, stuff like I might put in rice or pasta.
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