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Positive Affirmations...

Monday, October 03, 2011

This morning I woke up and remembered the three affirmations recited over and over throughout the movie that I watched last night "The Help". In it, the one help, Aibileen had her little charge recite every morning:

"You is Kind. You is Smart. You is Important".

I'm sure many will quibble about the poor use of English Grammar - but for me, that's not the point. The point is she encouraged that little girl every day, to realize she had important attributes, in spite of the fact that the little girl was "fat" (her mom was one of the unreasonably thin Southern Belles in the movie.), because Aibileen was well aware of the fact that the mother more or less emotionally abandoned her daughter because she was not perceived as a great "beauty" (my quotes) like her mom.

Here's one clip from the movie:

This same theme, I guess I could call it, was repeated elsewhere in the movie, because the white woman "Skeeter" who initially begins to contact Aibileen and others, to write their story, she has her own detatchment issues with her own mother and her own deeply held love for "the help" that her family had - Constantine (played wonderfully well by Cicely Tyson), whom the mother disgracefully fired while Skeeter was away at college. That theme resolves itself later in the movie, so go watch it or read it.

I am quite sure we can draw out a million other lessons from the movie... and mental note to myself: go get the book!!

But in any case, just thinking about the words Aibileen shared with little Miss Mae Mobley every day drew tears to my eyes this morning, what a great gift, and something I didn't have from my parents on a daily basis. But I want to write them down so I can see it every day.

You is Kind.
You is Smart.
You is Important


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YIWEN39 10/28/2011 6:35PM

    Thanks for sharing that with us :-) Will go and look for the book and/or movie... and will certainly write down "You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important" somewhere where I can see it every day :-) I need all the help I can get, and starting with how I speak to myself sounds like a good plan :-) emoticon emoticon

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BIRDINSUN 10/5/2011 9:25PM

    You took the words right out of my mouth. I read "The Help" when it first came out and LOVED it, and just saw the movie about a week ago. Loved that, too. Like you observed, I also loved the beautiful message Abileene gave to little miss Mae Mobley. It is a great example of how we all should be talking to ourselves every day.

Thanks for reminding me to acknowledge my good qualities!

Hope your day was swell. emoticon

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IDLETYME 10/4/2011 12:29PM

    That was great. Thanks for sharing it with us. And, thanks for reading my blog!
emoticon emoticon

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THINAGIN2 10/3/2011 2:42PM

    I read the book and it was wonderful! We should all do daily affirmations to ourselves in much the same way. Thanks for sharing this with us.

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    Lovely thoughts... Thank you and have a lovely day.

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Painting Day.... and "The Help"

Sunday, October 02, 2011

helped some friends paint parts of their house. They have neighbors (in a covenant neighborhood) that are always complaining to the Home Owners Association (HOA) about piddly stuff that these kids did. Mind you, this is a young couple with 5 kids under the age of oh about 8 or 9, and they have joint custody of the oldest (which means frequent trips to Kansas City some 3-4 hours drive away), and the youngest are twin girls about 1.5-2 years old. So they kinda have their plate full. The older couple next door desperately need a life of their own, and instead, spend it "spying" on these kids, to complain about every infraction they make. So they want to put their house up for sale and get out. And so we helped paint - I tried to not knock myself out silly with it...especially after having such a back ache for two days. Felt fine today, so we'll see how I am tomorrow??

I didn't feel obligated to stay the entire day, so we only painted about two hours - we already had plans to go see the captioned movie later in the day. I let my husband do the real tall reaching high painting, and I just concentrated on the areas right in front of my face on down towards the floor. Some of the painting took place with deep squats, so I hope I get some brownie points for that!! And I don't think I even got any paint on my brand new $3.00 clearanced Danskins pants I got from Walmart back in August!! zowie!

Then we went to see "The Help" - it was opened captioned today, yippeeee! Was a very interesting movie. My mom went with me, and she told me later she remembers hearing her mom speak of "kitchen help" that my great-grandmother had at home years ago (Southeast Missouri, I think this house would havebeen in Morley, but I'm not familiar with that home as much as I am the home they had in Cape Girardeau sp?). Evidently she didn't do heavy cleaning, mostly helped with the kitchen etc until my grandmother was older. Guess "PaPa" (my great-grandfather) called the house at one point, and this woman answered the phone because she was working in the kitchen and my great grandmother was gone. PaPa didn't recognize her voice, asked who she was, and she knew who he was - he paid her wages! She told him that she was "yo' guurl". I guess he remembered then that they had hired someone but I guess she was usually gone home by the time he was home and he usually didn't have to interact with her (much as it was shown in the movie.).

I knew it could be an intense movie, but felt my son needed to see a (sad) part of our History... we'll see how it registers later. I don't think he thought it was too girly... although there were some places that might have been considered "TMI"!!

I was a little girl when some of the Civil Rights marching and all was going on, first while we lived in Oklahoma (at the time JFK was assassinated) and later, when we lived in Florida , not far from Cape Kennedy/Canaveral, but I don't remember any direct impact (no KKK marching in my neighborhood or anything like that!) on me. By the time I was in school, though, schools were integrated, although not until about 3rd grade.

I'll probably check out "The Help" later, maybe when it hits the Redbox etc.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHEBESS 10/3/2011 8:39AM

    Hey, painting burns tons of calories! I hope you counted that as your cardio! (And good for you for helping out!(

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DIVA-TO-BE 10/2/2011 10:57PM

    I also saw this movie, and had such heart ache over it. I am from Arkansas, and I can remember having "help" that took care of me when I was little (like 3-4) and cooked, cleaned etc. Her husband worked on the farm for my dad and they lived in a little house on the property. I loved Minnie and learned so much from her. I never saw anyone treat her like the movie showed but I was so young-I wish there was a way to know...and apologize

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Question for Smokers or Former Smokers

Sunday, October 02, 2011

I've never smoked before. I've got enough other issues and vices to work through that are just as serious as smoking, so this isn't a "one is worse than the other" kind of thing.

Here's the quick story before midnight...

Older friend (my mom's age) used to be a Biker Mama years ago... but quit.

Younger friend is married and her husband desperately wants to stop smoking for good, keeps trying but relapses.... and he's a biker. And he keeps teasing about older friend riding his bike with him.

Finally she says that if he quits smoking and can prove it to her, she'll ride on his bike with him.

Sooo now she's wondering how does she "prove" that he's really quit smoking for good?

Evidently he had sorta quit for like 3 weeks but then just recently smoked a cigar, and she said, no cigar, no bike. I was kidding her and said she should also include no chewing tobacco either (lotta guys do that here in our part of the country. Turns my stomach.... but I guess it cuts both ways because I suppose watching me bend over and having to see my muffin top billow out over my Wide Load probably turns other people's stomachs. I wouldn't know.).

I know it's tough to quit smoking - even though I've never smoked - just because I know it's tough to quit eating junk food, or quit picking my fingernails or quit any bad habit, really.

So anyway, was curious how that might work, how he could document his smoke-free new habit?? Not like they live next door or anything....

But he really really really wants to get Old Biker Mama back on a bike, even as she pretends she's "too old" and is "a church lady" and all of that....


Oh and my back feels great! i got a couple batches of my olive oil toddy going through my system, spent a good deal of Friday in bed and or up and down a little bit, drank lots of water, didn't make it onto the rebounder, but later that night my husband ran the "thumper" on my back (one of those bigger back vibrator things) after I explained to him about the trigger points that I'd seen on that web page (the .pdf file), and after a few minutes of that, the rest of my arms and legs, especially bottoms of my feet and palms of my hands were screaming to get their vibration on too. After awhile, all of my backside was happier and I was ready to sleep. About 45 minutes later, I woke up and just had to pee and pee and pee, waaaay out of proportion to the water I had drunk before bed. Looked at my feet and most of the edema was down. Errrk.

But... got plenty of sleep and it felt pretty good all day today.


Thanks for the prayers and thoughts and empathies!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIFEWALK 10/3/2011 8:23PM

    LOL, I can just see it! Sparktacular!

People have made a lot of thoughtful ideas, and I know that this was something I had to do over & over until it finally happened... Although no one could push me (made me rebel) I did appreciate support & encouragement when I was trying.... So if she offered the ride as a way of celebrating... I would say 6 months, which is a HUGE milestone. A lot of relapse occurs prior to 6 mos.

As to documenting, if a person is addicted, it's hard to go between sickerettes and the smells, signs will be there if they are trying to be secretive.

I never did well with a future quit date, it always made me more anxious. I was the kind that had to quit when I had the whim... usually when I woke up, and then it would last 3 hours, rarely 3 days... If they can get through the 3 - 4 days of acute phsyical withdrawals and plow through the 1st 3 weeks of intense chemical induced crankies & habit/emotional withdrawals, they have a fighting chance...

Hopefully, people are supportive so they don't have to be secretive and can quit each and every time they are up to the attempt. It has been shown that it as intensely addictive for some people as meth and heroin, and they have to not only manage the chemical withdrawals but unravel that go to habit from each and every activity they relied on it... not to mention the emotional dependance when under stress or strong negative emotions and feel like they can't make it without a smoke... That is when they will need the most empathy & reassurance that they will not die from quitting & they are worth the battle!

they also might check out SparkPeople or for online support from other quitters...

although i haven't read it, i've heard good things about: The Easy Way to Stop Smoking: Join the Millions Who Have Become Non-smokers Using Allen Carr's Easy Way Method by Allen Carr.

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RIVER331 10/3/2011 11:08AM

    Can't help you with the smoking question, but I'm glad you're feeling better! emoticon

I do agree with BIRDINSUN - no other person will be able to make him quit, no matter what they offer; unless he wants it enough for himself! emoticon

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SMIDGON 10/2/2011 1:20PM

    I went cold-turkey 25+ years ago. 6 mos. later on Mothers' Day I picked up a cigarette, lit it, smoked half of it, put it out. Never so much as touched another one since that day!


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MZDOOR 10/2/2011 11:34AM

    My husband who smoked 18yrs finally decided (he decided) to quit 18months ago. It was a battle, but he did it. He tried cold turkey and failed, he finally picked up these generic lozenges and they worked after a week! Now, he can smell and taste. He has started cooking and really enjoys it. He always comments that he never knew food actually tasted

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AWESOMECAROL55 10/2/2011 11:02AM

    I smoked for many years but have quit for even more!! I agree..SMELL. You can't get that smell of your person..I can smell cigarettes on someone a mile away!!


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DR1939 10/2/2011 10:14AM

    Smoked for many years but quit 14 years ago. Only way I know to tell if someone is smoking is by smell and that is not foolproof as the smoke from others lingers on one's clothing. There are some meds that help a lot. We (my husband and I) used a mild antidepressant, can't remember the name. Chantal (sp?) is newer and supposed to be better.

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BAKERICLISA 10/2/2011 7:22AM

    My son did NOT smoke but a roommate did. When he brought laundry home I had to do it in the first hour since I could smell the smoke even on his clothing.

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BIRDINSUN 10/2/2011 3:51AM

    I just celebrated my one-year anniversary smoke free YESTERDAY! I smoked for years, and my husband still does, making my accomplishment even more mind-blowing to me!

As a person who struggled with trying to quit for years, the only think I can tell you for sure is that the ONLY way anyone ever quits for good is because THE SMOKER wants to become tobacco-free. No threats or dangling rewards ["I will get back on the bike and ride with you if you quit."] will be enough motivation. It's just like making the decision to lose weight and keep it off - the real desire can only come from yourself.

Unfortunately, the only person in the whole wide world we can control is ourselves, no one else. What we CAN control is how we respond to that other person.

Hope this helps! I'm new here, and trying to muddle my way around this HUGE site, and get to know a few folks. emoticon

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Trigger point links...

Friday, September 30, 2011

Just researching, want to save these to look at later.
I think the pain I'm feeling is this Rhomboid stuff. Lots of photos, diagrams, recommended stretches, etc. /upper-back-shoulder-arm.htm


back ache - Friday

Friday, September 30, 2011

I'm thinking I might try the health bounce today. Saw your comments yesteday, thanks. It hurts to sit at the computer. It mostly hurts to twist from the right side towards left or downward left. It's not hurting in the spinal column...

But being home today and getting a little extra rest and drinking some olive oil to help break up crud, it seems a bit less achey. I had to leave at some point to pick up a box at the post office and take some checks to the bank to deposit and I noticed picking up my purse was MURDER. So I cleared out a pound or two of debris... not enough I'm sure, but enough to take the edge off. I have NEVER been able to hang a purse on my left shoulder. I'm right handed, and I guess my left shoulder just slopes too much, and purses all fall off... even thin lightweight "wallet on a sting" types. I can't stand having purses hang around my neck cross my body, so it's the right shoulder and it was not feeling good today.

Anyway being home and being able to drink all the water I want, I was able to use the bathroom more and the more #2's, the more my back seemed to improve.

I actually toyed with the idea of going to my chiropractor here, especially since I just found out they've recently hired a person to do massages. May have to check into going back to her. I was going to another one in Wichita that came and spoke to our local Curves group about 10 years ago, and after that pre-stated program of treatments (something like 75 visits?), I stopped going and they moved out of town I found out a few years ago. But this late in the day Friday I don't imagine they are open right now, and will probably just have to do a new-patient workup again??

But yea I think pinched nerve is right... I've noticed when I haven't been eating right , I get this way, and it's as if I'm "backed up" clear up to my armpits... and I'll notice little achey areas on other parts of my right side, like here on my right side wrist, down the back of my right leg, etc. (so I'm totally sure the Chinese Medicine system of neural pathways is as valid as what I see in the Chiro's office....).

Sitting here at the computer doesn't help much ... heh.

a health bounce sounds good. Then maybe a walk later if I survive the health bounce.

Ohhh and yesterday I got my box of Nutiva's Chocolate Hemp Bar with all sorts of yummo seeds - chia, flax, the hemp, maybe sesame? I forget. It's SOOO tasty! Should give me some healthy fats to help rotor-rooter on through the system!!

Thanks for your comments!!
emoticon emoticon


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANNEPERRY 9/30/2011 9:59PM

    So sorry your back is bothering you. Rest up and feel well soon! emoticon

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FITKAT62 9/30/2011 5:41PM

    Take it easy! I hope your back starts to feel better soon.

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