Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I am frustrated to the point of tears today. I doesn't seem to matter what I do lately The scale is just not my friend. Since I got my new scale I have been wheighing myself every morning praying to see it go down. Just a little reassurance that I am making the right decisions would be nice. Hubby wheighs and he goes down every time. Why not me? Why do I have to work twice as hard? It is so not fair. I am putting all of my time and effort into this. I measure everything I eat track everything and I also prepare all of everyone elses meals and snacks. Gee if I was hand fed everything I eat in a day and didn't have to worry about planning shopping and preparing everything maybe I would loose some to. I just wanna scream. Why is this so hard? Am I making it harder than it has to be? I feel like I am the one being the supporter when what I really need is to be supported right now, but of course if I say as much I am being selfish and non supportive and around and around we go meanwhile I am dying of obesity.
I have come to terms with the fact that my weight is seriously and dangerously out of control and I really want to do something about it. So why is it the moment I really want to focus on taking care of myself I end up taking care of everyone elses needs first? Hubby has maybe 30 lbs to loose I am the one who is slowly killing herself here. Some days I just wanna say I want to talk about me.me.me.me.
Deep Breath that was a nice little vent I really needed that.