Wednesday, February 28, 2007
I know that its been recent since my ex and I broke up. I am having really werid dreams about him. Well him and I getting back together. I keep praying that God will send my Mr. Right to me. I dont want him back. He has hurt me too much to for us to move past it. I know he still loves me. And I will amit that I still care for him. THe King of All Jerks. I know that his relationship with this new girl wont last. I give it less than 6 months. What always happend between us is we break up...he goes with someone else...it get bad...they break up and I take him back. I refuse to do that again. I dont love him. Well at least that is what I am telling myself. I want to find Mr. Right.
Someone who thinks I am his number besides God of course. I am sick of playing second best. I want someone thats sincere and kind. SOmeone that works and has fun. SOmeone that know how to communicate to me about his feelings without a temper.
I have great qualities that I want in a mate. I am easy to talk to. I love music and traveling and cars. I get along with everyone. I love children and I wouldnt have a problem with a guy that has kids. I have never been married. I dont kids. I am smart and hard worker. I am reliable and sincere. Everyone thinks I would make a great wife and mother. I dont play head games. I just want a nice guy. That will enjoy our relationship the ups and downs.
I am thinking about joining eharmony. I know that sounds werid. But I think my husband is on there. I keep praying that God will bring him to me. Or show me a door. It may sound werid but all signs point there.
In 2000, I was engaged to a guy named Kevin. We were getting married in Oct 2001. So in our church you had to go to marriage therapy stuff. So while we were there my pastor told me to read this book called Finding your Mate in 2 dates or less. I read it. I was impressed. When relationship didnt work out I seen a commerial on tv for eharmony by the same guy that wrote the book. I didnt think anything of it.
Then I started dating my ex and signs like that keeped happening. Like his mother encouraging me to check out the web site for her which was eharmony. Acouple of friends of mine tried and got married.
In August when we separated I decided to try it. I did. I found some people that I was interested in. Nothing really stuck out to me. My ex and I got back together again. I lost my job after that. I came to NY for Christmas.
When I found out we had broken up to make myself feel better I went on the site to see who was on there. Amazingly, they had a promotion where you could communicate for free for a weekend. After the weekend was over, I enjoyed talking to the men. We had lots of fun. Unfortunally, I dont have alot of money and its $50 for month to continue with the communication. I asked God if he wanted me to do this to make away. Well I got a email stating that 60% off the cost for 3 months. Thats less then $50 and i could afford that. I have until March 4th to do it. ANd I am trying to decide. Does anyone have feeling about this?