Tuesday, April 02, 2013
I am doing ok ... my goal today is to make it through without crying. So far I have been very successful.
I would take more time to deal except my boss is an a$$. I came back Monday and she spoke to me like I didn't have a real reason to deal with my grief. She said I took to many days off. This made me super mad because I have had prefect attendance for 14 months.
Mother is getting my sh!t list again... well never really got off of it.
Roger passed on Wednesday. I was up all night long dealing with the police, coroner, and emts. By the time that was all said and done, I had to be strong to handle my very emotional best friend. I went to work the next day. In my opinion I shouldn't have. I went anyways. I was sent home after an hour.
At this point, I had been up for over 24 hours. Here comes my mother... talking at me on how we need to figure out what we are doing with the body. THE BODY? He was my friend. I was tired and moody. She had the nerve to come to my house to talk to me like that.
I asked her to leave. Enough is enough.
Then she had the nerve to come back into my house and start cleaning it. She made me feel like crap because my house wasn't clean. It was the day after celebrating Roger's life. He has been gone less than a week we are still dealing.
Then she accused me of doing illegal drugs and I need to grow up. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I have had a lot to happen to me and she thinks I act weird because of DRUGS!!!
I have lost a lot of weight she assumes that I am taking weight loss drugs too. That must be the reason I am acting weird. On top of the fact that I must drink all the time because I had a couple drinks on Saturday celebrating Roger's birthday and life.
Yesterday, I came home to play football with Jamie's kids. That should be a good thing. It wasn't.
I am running all over the yard. My mom yells, Amy, your face is really red. I think your blood pressure is up. You could died if you don't take care of it.
I just went to the doctor's. My blood pressure was prefect. 120/80!!!
When I told her I have a lot of stress right now. She tried to make it all about her. She says she has had more death than me. WTF is this crap!
She tries to out rank me with my kid. She makes it seem like she is a better mother than me. She has had more deaths than me. She is trying to act like this a completion.
That isn't all... behind my back she had the nerve to ask my best friend if I really wanted my son. If I didn't want him, she could raise him. I would not have to sign of rights or anything. WTF!!!!
I don't want to do this anymore. I just want her to stop. The more I am around her the more I realize why I eat my feeling.