She mention that she has been watching me since I started at my job. I drink water. I eat veggies all the time. I talk about going to the gym. I join in open discussions of what I have learned. I brought pictures in from when I have started.
I am honestly impressed that someone was paying attention to me!
Trying to improve my life from where I stand is so difficult. I wish I could stand on top of a mountain so I could really see what life had in store. I would like to move through life without hitting land mines.
Since I can't... I have to leave the directions, reasons and control in God's hands... Pray for me I have a rough road ahead. I have already step on some pit falls.
1. Best friend losing her husband unexpectedly
2. I lost a close friend
3. My boyfriend just moved down here. Job interview tomorrow.
4. I am a temp and my contract is up in 7 months.
5. My best friend's kids are adjusting
6. At this point, my clan is living off my income without prospects.
7. I just received my car back and I hope nothing else goes wrong.
8. My biological father is in hospice.
9. My friend is having a hard time coping with the lost of his best friend.
10. I am not the one that is responsible. I am the careful party girl. The last three years I have had to be thick skin, strong and steady. I need help to carry this load.
I got a full night sleep! Two nights in a row with a good rest! I feeling much better.
I am so proud of my best friend. She is actually attempting to clean her room. I don't know if I could be able to do that this soon. It makes her feel better. I am very happy for the attempt.
I am attempting to move on from the tragied. I started my job hunt again. I am still praying for direction. I know that God will provide. The control freak that I am this very difficult to be understanding. One day...one breathe at a time.
I got home from work and my house was clean and pretty. Randy, my boyfriend and Jamie, my best friend, rearranged the house. It was wonderful! It felt very comfortable. I actually sat out in the living room. We watched television. I started laundry.
After the kids were asleep, Randy said the sweetest thing to me. He looked into my eyes and said "I know that you haven't been going to the gym as much as you should and like. I would like to start walking with you after dinner. That way we are both getting exercise."
I am so in love with amazing man.
After the conversation, I slept 5 hours last night. Almost a full night of sleep. I am feeling much better.
Randy is out and about job hunting today. He went to his first meeting this morning. I really truly appreciate every thing that man does for me. I am very luck to have someone so strong in my life.
Randy put his two week notice in at work. They decided to let him go. Last night, he arrived at my house. He will be staying with me until he can get a job here. I am so grateful that we decided to move closer to each other.
Now I am just taking one breathe at a time to deal with all the junk in my head. I keep going in and out of feeling.
I cannot wait to talk to my rent a friend on Saturday...this is the only real thing I have to look forward too.
I asked my mom to go with me. Maybe we could start to learn how to communicate with each other. If things don't improve drastically I will be moving. I won't move hundred miles away but I will move far enough where I can have my space.
I am just praying right now for God to show me a path.