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Thursday, September 13, 2012

The installion tech cannot come install my flooring today. Tomorrow, is going to be the day. That is alright with me. What is one more day? emoticon

I have started my "to do" list for this weekend. It is nothing spectacular.
1. Laundry.... I have sawdust on almost every stitch of clothing. I have allergies to it.
2. Dishes... everything has sawdust on that too
3. Clean the bathrooms
4. Vacuum, Sweep and Mop
5. Clean and rearrange my pantry
6. Organizing and put back my kitchen and living room
7. Bring my car to the shop on Sunday to get it fixed
8. Grocery shopping for the week
9. Take all my clothes that do not fit and pack them up for my friends
10. Take my son swimming on Friday night and Saturday Morning

Today, besides the installation of my flooring being delays, I am having a wonderful day.

1. I fit into the only pair of 18's I own. They are comfortable. I can breathe. It feels GREAT! emoticon

2. I stepped on the scale today which said I lost 2 pounds!!! emoticon

3. This is a great 2 pounds because now I can say I am below 250!!!

4. My son went to the day care without crying or making a stink when I had to leave for work.

5. I was just told that in my department is not going to end the overtime in October. We may have another 6 months.

That is wonderful. I am making Kaleb a costume for Halloween. I have Kaleb's second birthday coming up a week after that. Then I have to do Christmas shopping. I will still be able to put some more money aside for my savings!!!

I am in a list mood today...

My new mini goals:

1. Drop another 8 pounds on or before October 6
2. Fit into a size 16 by November
3. Keep doing my walking program for my first 5k walk at the End of October
4. Start making a weekly meal plan instead of nightly
5. Keep paying my bills early and/or on time

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEVERMORE74 9/13/2012 2:40PM

    Wow that is a lot of things that you have planned to do! It sounds great that you are so focused. Hope you can keep the momentum going!! Good Luck!!!


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Chaos is Gone

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The vinyl will be installed tomorrow!!! I have been at my house since Sunday. It is like all my problems and anxiety has dissipated in thin air. I just started being able to get rested last night. I am feel better today. I dropped the 5 pounds I gained from being through the chaos. That makes me feel wonderful!

I took my car for an oil change on Saturday. I am getting my power steering hose fixed this Sunday. I am purchasing tires Saturday the 21st. Then my car will be completely ready for my trip.

I have a countdown calendar. I am so excited I have never taken a vacation before. Things are just coming together. I have 24 days before I leave. Yes I said DAYS!!!

I have plans for Kaleb, my son, to see his sister and his niece and nephews. I am totally taking pictures. Kaleb has so much fun over there.

I get to see my biological father, Pete and his wife, Stella. We are suppose to go to dinner with family so I can be introduced. I just met him and the family last June. It is a very new relationship.

I am going to grab a cup of java with my sister, Lucy. I am assuming she will not have time to hangout. She is in advance intensive nursing program. She has very long hours and lots of work.

Rosalee, my baby sister, is in classes too but her schedule is more flexible. She wants to go to the movies. I am not sure if I have time for the movies. I will have to see when I get up there.

I want to see a couple of my family members. I want to get some pictures. I am taking my cousin, Kay with us to the pumpkin farm. I am very excited to see her.

My best friend, Jamie will be with me most of the time. We have plans for a pumpkin farm, and pancake breakfast that we go to every year. The kids have so much fun. I believe Kaleb will have fun with that as well.

I am stopping by my friend, Sharon's house and met her little baby. She will be almost 2 months old. This is Sharon's first baby. She looks so beautiful. Lots more pictures.

My other girlfriends and I are going out drinking, dance and singing one night. I am very excited to have a girls night. Most of the woman in my life have kids and its shocking they all managed to get babysitter. We have a day and time and place. Perfect, PERFECT, PERFECT!!

Of course, during my vacation I will be going clothes shopping. All and I do mean ALL of my clothes are at least 2 sizes to big. I have to wear belts and safety pins to keep things where they need to be. I am really hoping to be able to fix a 18. My 20 size clothes hang on my body. However the one pair pants that are 18s just seem to touch me a little too much.

On my to do list is to gather up all my clothes that are in good condition and give them to my girlfriends. They have been wanting my clothes forever. They finally get their wishes come true. I really hoping to WOW them in October!!


My Freak Out

Friday, September 07, 2012

There is too much stress and chaos in my life right now.

I flipped out on my dad last night. I had tears rolling down my face. I have been at my parent's house for seven days. I have not been able to sleep more than 5 hours since Saturday. I have not been able to spend more that 30 minutes with my son a night before I have to go and help fix my floors.

I am not trying to complain because while I am at work, my dad has been fixing my floors. When this remodel is all said and done, I will not have to worry about stepping through the floors.

My mom comes in and starts giving me attitude about how much my flooring is going to cost. I am pretty fed up of heard how much it cost. Especially, that they offered to purchase the flooring which is my christmas present. It is not like I picked expensive flooring. Mom came home with the samples that they could afford. I picked out the less expensive flooring that she had samples of. That does not matter... just another thing to hang over my head!

I am sick of being snapped at from both my mother and my sister. What do I go and do? I yelled at my dad because of them. I apologized. I still feel bad because he is trying to help. It is not his fault the women in his life are crazy!

I did not get to talk to my therapist last week. She usually prepares me for dealing with my family. I am so happy I get to talk to her tonight after work. I have been looking forward to it all week.

I am hoping my floor will be done soon. I need sleep. I need to be in my own environment. I need less chaos. I need less people!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUDYAMK 9/7/2012 8:39AM

    Try & stay calm, I know it is hard. Maybe after this flooring is all done, you can take your Dad out for lunch. Just the two of you & tell him what it meant to him to have him there helping out. I now you told him you are sorry, but that extra time alone will be good for both of you.You hang in there sometimes it feels like we are hanging by our finger tips on the edge of a cliff ready to fall ,but just ask God to calm your anxious heart & he will bring you up from the depths of that cliff.I dangled many times in my life & he got me through. take care

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AZMOMXTWO 9/7/2012 8:17AM

  wow you sound like me
It is nice that you want to help but get out of my face if you did not want to pay for it why did you offer in the first place. you are so wise in getting to your therapist. most people are not that smart.
prayers that it is finished soon

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Stood My Ground

Thursday, September 06, 2012

After all the crap went on with my sister yesterday, I told my mom that my sister is a brat. I am not apologizing to her.

She turned to me and her reply, "You are a brat too."

"Please Mom tell me why you feel that I am a brat." as I looked at her confused.

She took a moment to gather her thoughts and then spoke, " We are fixing your floor and your plumbing. We have to fixed everything in your house while you are saving to go to New York. I watch your baby. You always assuming we are going to take care of you. When you do need help you are to proud to ask."

"I did not ask you to fix my home however you offered. If you did not want to fix it then you should not have offered. I did not ask." was my first response.

She looks at me a little speechless. I continued on.

"I found a day care and I am paying for it. I asked you to pick what days you want to watch your grandson. I did not ask you to watch him. You wanted to watch him. At any given time let me know you do not want to watch him and he will be in the day care those days. That is why I found one." as I wait for her response.

She is still speechless.

"My priorities are different then yours. I want to use the money I saved to go to New York because that is important to me. Just because you do not approve of where I spend or use my money does not make me a brat. Is there any other situation that implies that I am a brat?"

I was hoping that she would come up with something.

"Well, maybe I am using the wrong word", she replied.

"Like I was saying before, my sister is a brat", waiting for her replied.

"Why do you think your sister is a brat? What is difference between you too?" as she smirked.

"I expect from myself to be adult. I need to rely on myself. Sometime I have to accept I will not get everything every time I want it, need, or desire it. I do not expect you or dad to give me any of your time, money or energy. I am adult. I am responsible for myself and my son. However, my sister, a few weeks away from being 31 years old, is married and is expecting. Her expectations that she puts on our parents makes her a brat. That is why I can say she is a brat. I will not apologize. She needs to grow up." as I stood my ground.

Mom said nothing. I won!!! She now has to think about what I said. She knows how I feel and it makes sense. It only took 33 years to get my mom to understand I have a brain and I know how to use it.


Rude Awaking

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Back Story:

This long weekend my brother-in-law, father and myself tore up the flooring in my living room, my bedroom and master bathroom. The flooring is finished in the living room just waiting to put the vinyl on.

Unfortunately, when the bathroom carpet was pulled up the flooring was very bad. So we had to take up 3 square feet of flooring up and replace it. However, after pulling up the subfloor we found a steady leak. We had to stop. We are waiting on a handyman to come out today and fix it.

This meant Kaleb, my son and I had to spend the last 2 nights over to my parents' house. At that house there are 5 people, sister, brother-in-law, mom, dad and grandma.

Kaleb has a hard time sleeping there. This morning he woke up at 2:45 am. After changing him, laying him back down and trying to get him back to sleep my lovely sister woke up.

She came to the leaving room asking, "What is the problem?"

My reply, "This is what it is like to be a parent."

She rolled her eyes and headed back to her room.

I finally get the baby settle back down but not asleep and by this time my alarms goes off. I have to get up at 4:10 am. I get ready and my little man is following me. He footsteps echo throughout the hall waking my sister again. I ask her if she will be getting up with the baby because I have to go to work.

Wait for it.... Her responds, "I guess I have too. Why don't you go home?" as she rolls her eyes and uses her frustrated voice.

I replied, " I cannot control when Kaleb gets up. I will get my mom up instead. You do not have to watch the baby. And you better get use to it. You are having a baby."

"Yeah, but my baby is not here yet!", my sister's rely as she rolls her eyes and goes back to bed.

She is due in January. This is her first baby. She acts like everything is going to be by the book. It is like she is living in a fairytale world. Does she not realize that babies usually do not sleep all night long. It is really hard and tough job to being a parent!

To add to my questions, does she not realizes that my house is unsafe for a baby to walk around where there is a hole that leads right to the ground.









  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DABLUECAT 9/5/2012 8:53AM

    Sounds like she thinks she's a PRINCESS! I feel for you. Hang in there & hopefully it won't be for much longer.

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