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Waiting for Rosalee

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Well, I talked to Rosalee this morning. She was in Richmond, Virginia. She will be here tonight after I get out of work. Jay is suppose to be a sweetheart and clean the bathrooms before she gets here.

I figured if it does not rain tonight, Rosalee and I, we will be able to have a mini fire. If it rains and if she is in the mood, there is always cards.

As for last night, we had a really bad thunderstorm. My power went out a couple of time. I had to be patience while waiting until my cable came back on and the storm died down. I wanted to call Rosalee. I was happy once that happened because I went to bed after I knew she transferred to her bus.

I have also decided I need to get a battery for my alarm clock. It really made me nervous that I would not have my alarm in the morning.


My weekend

Monday, July 16, 2012

I got a haircut on Saturday. I donorated my hair to locks of love. I have not done that since I was a teenager. My hair is still below my shoulders. I have layers and layers of hair still. I love my hair.

Kaleb, my son, had his first professional hair tirmed. He is just as cute as a button. He had an inch trimed. I can see his beautiful face again. I have his hair clipping his baby book.

On Sunday, we went to Spartagburg for some swimming. That was pretty fun. Jay visited his son. Logan did not want him to go home. It was really sweet. Jay really need that from him.

I feel accomplished as well. I finished the dishes, laundry I have one more load left. I only have a few more things to do before Rosalee gets into town. She is leaving from New York tonight. I will see her at 6 pm tomorrow night. I am wick excited to see her. Rosalee is another sister I just met last year. This is going to be a good opportunity to get to know her.

I made dinner. Even through Jay hated it. He actually asked for some of my mom's leftovers from our family dinner on Saturday. I would not feel so insulted had it not be burnt. I made the same thing last night that I made two weeks ago. The last time, I made asian stir fry with turkey. His only complaint was the turkey had an after taste. Yesterday, I made it with beef. He said it was gross. WTF!!!! I cannot win.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KCWIND 7/16/2012 11:42AM

  THANK YOU for donating! My daughter is in remission from Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Losing her hair was devestating. Thank you. Thank You. Thank you.

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My life... in a NUT shell

Friday, July 13, 2012

I did not want to get up this morning. Its raining and 15 degrees lower than its been in weeks. I should have wore a sweater.

I have happy News! I lost another 1.5 pound. emoticon

Now that my food is starting to stay on track I going to add some fitness into it.

I get to join the YMCA today. I have been waiting for two weeks for the personal director to come back from vacation.

Yippie skippie bippie!

Kaleb loved his first day at the day care. This morning was rough. He did not want me to leave him. I am going to give her a call in a couple of hours. I hope he has not given her to much of a hard time.

Jay and I talked a little last night. We both agreed that our relationship moved to quickly. It was nice that we agreed that we need our space. I believe in his head, he thinks we will eventually get back together. I do not know how to feel about that.

I know that I have too many feelings and too many thoughts to deal with someone else's drama right now.

I got to talk to my sister, Sheenia last night. I have not got to meet her in person. She lives in florida. A little history, I met my biological father last June. That is when I met my 2 other sisters and my older brother. Sheenia is the only sister I have not go to met as of yet.

Last night, Sheenia and I talked about an hour. I have learned about a lot of skeletons in our family closet. It was good to talk to her. I found out I have a lot in common with her then I ever thought possible. I also asked about my potential career choice.

That brings me too... I am going to a college career adviser on Monday because of Sheenia. I am very excited to see if this is something I would really be interested in.

So Overall, Things are good.


Miserable... maybe

Thursday, July 12, 2012

I did not even get to discuss my issues with my weight with the boyfriend. We ended up fighting.

There was huge thunderstorm last night with lighting. He decides he is going to call his son. That is where the fight started. It ended by picking up Kaleb and placing us in his room. It was such a horrible night.

He called me a bitch and yelled like I was trying to murder him. This makes 3 times in less than a week he broke up with me. This time when he came back I told him I no longer see a future for us. I told him I just wanted to be his friend. He did not take the news very well. I just cannot be in a relationship like this anymore.

Now that I have slept, I thought I would wake up feeling differently. I almost expected to feel like I made a mistake. I do not feel like I have made a mistake. I do not feel anything like I am on autopilot.

I just need to focus on Kaleb and I. The man I am suppose to be with me will find me. The starting of a relationship should not be this hard and complex.

In the meantime, I have a goal to lose 10 pounds in the next month.

I am looking into get a career dealing with corporation training. I do not even know how to get my foot in the door. Yesterday, was the 10th person in the last 8 months that said I should look into it.

I put myself on a budget.

I am trying to get my crap straight.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1954MARG 7/12/2012 9:08AM

  Good luck, sounds like you are on the right track.

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PLANTAHOLICS 7/12/2012 9:00AM

    emoticon Sounds like one horrible night - I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that. Getting yourself together sounds like the best thing you can do right now. We're all here for you if you need to talk.....

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THEEXERCISER 7/12/2012 9:00AM

    You are better off without him. Good luck with your training! emoticon

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Do not know how to feel...

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I do not even know where to start.

I have been seeing a man for about 2 months now. I have known him as a very close friend for about 10 years. We have seen each other at our best and worst. He is a very handsome, sweet and kind man. I have had a lot of feeling for him for a while. My insecurities stopped me from pursing the relationship in the past. Our path have just keep crossing.

I know that his attraction is to smaller woman. He keeps bringing up the fact that he does not find bigger woman attractive until he met me.

I thought was sweet. I just do not see how in the world he can find me attractive. He usually dates woman that are so small that eating a m&m would make them look pregnant.

Let me just say, in his defend, he has know idea that I feel insecure with my body in the first place. He loves that I have a ton of self-confidence.

I know that I am beautiful and smart. I know that I am worth wild. I just do not how I am ever going to be able to take my clothes off in front of him. Anytime he instigates us to be intimate I find a way to keep my clothes covering my rolls.

I am use to a men that enjoy curvy woman. How the hack am I going to get through this?

Where did myself confidence go?


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