Sunday, July 17, 2011
I've been having a bad day, and while my situation probably won't get better for a while...it could always be worse.
As hard as we think we have it when it comes to the limitations of our bodies, it's good to keep it in perspective and be grateful for what we CAN do.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Here's how my usual blogs go:
Sunshine......more sunshine.....insert joke here.....laughter LOL!.....basket of kittens.....fluffy clouds.....rah rah rah......more sunshine......there might be a slight annoyance.....oh but look, there's a silver lining, with a cute puppy sitting on it......happy happy happy.
Well, not today. Today is crap. I'm tired because I only got about 3 hours of sleep. I'm too angry, too worried, too annoyed to even sleep.
I'm hungry but I already ate breakfast and I don't feel like eating anything else.
Financially, life sucks.
Been fighting with my wife and that sucks.
The shape of my body has changed so much, but not all in a good way. I've lost weight and built muscle, but I keep relocating weight from my legs and butt right into my middle. My jeans are loose every where except the waist band. They look like they are about to fall off of me, yet I can't sit down in them. Crap!
When I used to feel this way, I would go run. I would run hard and long and feel better when I was done. These days I can't run fast enough, long enough, or hard enough to do anything but give myself leg cramps and pulled muscles. You just can't exhaust your frustrations in a 60 second sprint - which is all I can pull off right now.
...and who am I kidding?!?!? Seriously? I sprint like a turtle. My sprint could be out done by a little old lady with a walker - one of those with the tennis balls on the legs.
I could go on and on with this blog, and still I wouldn't have anything positive to say. I don't even want encouragement today. I am just gonna feel like crap and that's that.
Here's one thing I would like: I would like to take a poll. How many hours of chores per day might be appropriate for a 15 year old? How many days per week? If you have any opinion on that I would really appreciate hearing it.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Woo Hoo! I got a letter today from the Port Townsend Police!
"This letter is to notify you and your son Joshua that the traffic infraction #16388 has been voided and is no longer a valid infraction. Due to the age of Joshua the infraction does not apply.
The report has been routed to Jefferson County Juvenile Division. They will contact you if necessary. Sorry for the inconvenience..."
The good news is that he no longer starts his driving career with a ticket already counting against him. Of course I could still be contacted by the Juvenile Division but I'll take my chances there, in fact I'll just contact them first.
I do volunteer work for the Juvenile Division and they know me well...my good side that is, so maybe that will help. It's pretty embarrassing for me, because I'm a volunteer Guardian ad Litem and I report to the Court concerning parents and kids who are in the system.
At worst, I'll probably get a talking to, and I certainly deserve that. At best, they will just hold on to it and as long as Josh doesn't get himself in any more trouble (which he doesn't, he's never been in trouble of any sort) then they'll probably scrap the whole matter.
Monday, July 11, 2011
This is gonna be a long blog, but I can't even say good morning in less than 500 words, and besides, I have so many victories to talk about this week.
My first one is a scale victory:
Oh how I love Spark Honeymoons! You know, that first week back when you can lose a pound a day and don't even feel like you are working at it. I've lost 7 pounds my first week and even though I know it's not 7 pounds of fat and I realize that I only lost that large of an amount because of the Spark Honeymoon, I don't care. It's still nice and it lets me know that I have, indeed, made some changes.
My first nonscale victory of the week - I have actually had meals with members of my family. You see, although we own a kitchen table, we apparently have forgotten that it can be used during meal times. Normally it holds a few days worth of junk mail, some cat treats, at least one article of clothing, something that needs to be returned to some store, a handful of CDs, the packing materials from our latest ebay purchase, and a ball of something quite unidentifiable that seemed to involve dryer lint, a gum wrapper, and some pine needles. Unless you count the little pile of soy sauce packets from the Thai take out place, our table hasn't seen food in quite a while.
Well this week that changed. This week we reclaimed our table for the noble purpose of gathering around, in person, in order to eat a meal together. We did it several times and it wasn't even a holiday.
My second nonscale victory is that my treadmill and I survived the week without destroying one another. Oh it was close at times, but we managed to pull through. For some reason, my right hamstring is giving me fits and I am taking a very long time to recover from a jog. Because of that hamstring, I didn't make any of my jogging goals for the week, but I'm all for focusing on what I did do and not what I didn't do, so the victory is mine because I'm not giving up. I just jog when I can, stretch, use ice, and be patient until I am able to jog again. I'm hoping that in time, this nonsense will stop and I can go back to jogging as I used to do.
I actually am using the map idea that I mentioned in a previous blog. I've got a map hanging behind my treadmill and each time I jog I apply my distance to that map. I'm headed out of town now. According to my map, I'm on the outskirts of Port Townsend and headed south. I'm not sure where I'll go, but I'll get there eventually. I think I might head toward California. At my current pace, I'll make it there just before Christmas...Christmas of 2016, that is, but I'll get there just the same.
I keep thinking that I could just "jog" to Seattle and take a plane, but that wouldn't do me any more good than my bright idea about the bus did.
My third nonscale victory is that I have made more new Spark Friends and I've gotten to reunite with my previous Spark Friends. You all are so inspiring and you make me want to achieve more. Thanks everyone.
My fifth victory of the week is a philosophical one. Let me tell you about the day I got my treadmill. As I said before, I found it on Freecycle. I answered an ad and didn't hear anything back for about a week. Then I get an email explaining that the owner of the treadmill had planned to give it to someone else, but that someone hadn't arrived to pick it up and so now I had a shot at it. Let me tell you, I can move fast if I have to and I was in my van 10 minutes later headed to Port Hadlock to get a treadmill.
The woman who owned it said that she hated to get rid of it, but it was taking up too much room in her house and it just had to go. On the way to her home, I imagined that I would find a stick figure of a woman, 30 something, life long runner, probably has a local marathon or two named after her. She would weight almost 100 pounds and 98 of that would be muscle.
I thought that she would answer the door in size negative 2 jogging shorts, an athletic shirt, and maybe a super hero red cape. She probably runs a mile in 2 minutes as a warm up for something more challenging. She'll look at me and wonder what on earth I would do with a treadmill. She'll wonder if her beloved machine can even withstand the untrained lumberings of such an blubbery, overweight, hulking peasant. She may see me and not even answer the door. I thought she might look down her nose at me, she might even detest me.
Then I got there and met the woman. She was much larger than myself. No athletic clothes in her entire wardrobe, no wonder woman cape. She was very cordial and happy to see me. As much as she hated to get rid of her treadmill, she was very kind, and very normal. She looked and acted like someone's grandmother. I liked her and she had no problem with me.
When I later told my son about what I had expected and what I had seen, he said to me, "People are often much more human than we give them credit for."
Wow. He's right. The only person that judged me that day was me and too often I find myself imagining that others are so much better than me. How many times have I imagined that the guy jogging by must be in better shape than I am, have more time than I have, be stronger than I am? How many times have I imagined that successful athletes are more disciplined than I am, that other Sparkers are more dedicated than I am, that people who reach their goals are more enthusiastic than I am? How many people do I look at and imagine that s/he is just plain better than I am?
So what if Wonder Woman Super Olympic World Recorder Holder had answered the door that day. She might have been the sweetest woman in the world. She might be very excited at the thought of her treadmill being an instrument of change in a rookie runner's life. Instead of thinking that she must look at me like I'm some kind of pig, I could have thought to myself that I was meeting a wonderful source of information and inspiration - not someone who is better than me, but someone who may help me to be my best.
I've been looked down at by various people all my life because of my weight, and now I find myself expecting it. Well it's time to change my thinking on this. Sure there are going to be those who look down on fat people, but this isn't junior high anymore and I'm really cheating myself and others when I expect everyone to be and / or think that they are better than me.
People are often more human than I think.
It will serve me well to remember that.
Wow, five victories in one week! That was awesome!
I can't wait to see what the coming week brings.
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
That's right. I'm eating cake...and by gum I deserve it, too. It's a $550 cake so I'm gonna take my time and enjoy the heck out of it...
...and just so all my Spark Friends can have a chance to make their own, I'll be glad to give the directions right here in my blog so that, one day, if you were so inclined to eat cake, you'll know just how to make this type of cake happen.
Should I be giving directions for cake making in a blog on an exercise and fitness site? No. No way. Not just no, but h311 no. Certainly not...
...but this wouldn't be the first time today that I did something on the irresponsible side, so why not?
First, start with a really crappy day. Have an argument with your spouse, tick off your boss, get a flat tire, let the nearest dog bite you, and have a large pimple come up on your non-teen aged face. Now your off to a great start.
Next, get all engrossed in your work, your email, your garden, yourself - get a real big head and let all good judgment and common sense leave you.
Then allow your teenager to take your scooter to the store. After all, it's only a 49 cc scooter, not a Harley, not a race car, not a limo, a semi truck, a city bus, or the space shuttle. It's is scooter for goodness sakes, barely more than a toy and he's 15 and a half and very responsible and knows all the laws because he is studying for his driver's permit, and the store is only 6 or 8 blocks away anyway.
He loves to bake and he knows you've had a bad day and he just wants to get a cake mix to bake and try to make you feel better.
You can probably see where this is going...
The ticket my son received for driving without a license is $550.
I'm eating cake.
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