Friday, January 04, 2013
Well, it's been almost 2 years since I've been on Sparkpeople. I took a quick break to have a kid and breastfeed for a year, which, contrary to popular belief, does NOT make you lose weight! It just made me hungry. I actually lost 20lbs during my pregnancy, and didn't hate my post pregnancy body, but of course between extreme sleep deprivation and lack of time, plus that aforementioned breastfeeding hunger, I gained it all back plus five pounds. I've also been hearing this really ominous crunching in my left knee, so it's time to get my s**t together. The one big plus is that now I really have a reason outside myself to be healthy. I don't want to pass my bad habits on to my little girl. Now, if I can just figure out when and how to fit exercise into the works, I should be good.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Well, I've been Sparking for a couple of months now (this time around), and I have decided that the scale is more harm than help. I lost the first 13 lbs pretty quickly, but now I've been hovering around the same weight for a while, and even got on the scale today and was 2 lbs heavier than my last weigh in. Now, I know there's no way I've gained even an ounce of fat, since I've been tracking every single calorie (never once going over), walking, and doing strength training. But the scale says I have gained weight. So, I'm making a big decision today. I'm getting rid of the weight tracker on my signature, and I'm not weighing in (at least for a LONG while). Why? Well, here are the facts as I see them:
1. When I log my calories and stay within my limits, I feel good.
2. When I log my cardio minutes and strength training exercises into the fitness tracker, I feel good.
3. When I can sit down at the end of the evening and can have a few squares of dark chocolate without guilt because I am within my calories, I feel good.
4. If I keep eating within my range and exercising, it is physically impossible for me to not get healthier and lose fat over time. It's simple math; I will be burning more calories than I am taking in.
5. Hopping on the scale will not make this process of getting healthier go any faster. As a matter of fact, it may slow me down. If I step on that scale and don't see progress, I'm likely to want to do something drastic (700 calories a day, anyone?), which will actually set me back both mentally and physically.
6. The scale is not an accurate way to measure fat loss. For that matter, does the scale tell me ANYTHING about how healthy I am? No. As far as the scale knows, those pounds could be muscle, fat, bone, water, etc., so measuring my weight won't help. Weight does not equal fat. Does the scale measure my relationship with food? No. Does the scale measure my physical activity? No.
7. My extra fat isn't the problem I have to fix. My poor eating habits and lack of physical activity are the problems I need to fix. The fat is merely a result of my problematic relationship with food and my lack of physical activity.
It's a difficult decision to make, since the scale and I have had a long, tumultuous relationship; the concept of trying to get healthier without a scale is completely foreign to me. However, my scale isn't helping me; anything that damages my motivation has to go. The last time I Sparked, I lost 45 lbs, then hit a weight loss plateau. After seeing no movement on the scale for three months, I gave up; I still had in my head that this was a diet, and that I was racing to the finish line. When I hit that plateau, instead of focusing on how great I felt in my new clothes, or the fact that I could do 45 minutes on the elliptical when I couldnít finish 2 minutes when I began, I focused on that darn scale. I was ashamed and frustrated that the scale wasnít moving, so I stopped coming on SP and slowly began to self-medicate with food. Before long, I had gained back that 45 lbs plus 20 more.
So clearly, watching the scale doesnít work for me. No more weekly weigh ins for me. I'm also going to make an active effort to remove the words "lose weight" from my vocabulary. Instead, I'm "getting healthier." I may not be able to lose weight every day, but I CAN get healthier every day. My behavior is always in my control, even when my weight may not reflect all of my hard work. Each day that I stick to my plan, I am healthier than the day before. I am proud of myself for changing my unhealthy behaviors, and Iím going to keep at it!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Hubbs and I started the couch to 5K program today. It went pretty well, although after the 5th running interval I just couldn't run anymore. I guess I'm going to have to work up to "Week 1 Day 1" of the program. I was proud of myself though that I managed to do 5 intervals, and of course that I dragged my sorry ass out of bed when it was still dark! :) I bought myself a new pair of running "shoes" (Vibram Fivefingers www.vibramfivefingers.com/ , so they're really more like running barefoot), so that was a motivator. I also managed to find cute workout clothes for CHEAP at Walmart, so I didn't feel like a dork running in something unattractive. I feel like I've already got to have my fat flopping around while I run, I might as well do it in something cute! ;)
Also, I have to put in a plug for these books I've been using to bake bread. The first one is Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day and the second is Healthy Bread in Five Minutes a Day www.artisanbreadinfive.com/ . The recipes are SO easy to make (no kneading - just dump everything in a bowl and stir it up!), and they're not bad for you. Well, some of them aren't bad for you. ;) I've been using their recipes to make light whole wheat bread, which isn't too bad in the calorie department, and it fat free. I'm finding that, while it does have more calories than the light bread I was buying at the store, it actually has substance and flavor, and it keeps me full longer. Not to mention, roll out the dough and grill it? Flatbread. Roll out the dough really thin and bake it? Pitas (with pockets!). Roll out the dough really thin, grill it, then throw some veggies, garlic, tomato sauce, and a little grated parmesan on the top? Pizza! I LOVE that I can control all of the ingredients and that I know exactly what's going into my body. I do have to do a little guesswork on the calories, but I think I'm coming pretty close it getting it right. If you want to try out the recipes before buying the book, just go to their website or google it, there are a bunch of recipes online. :)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Two days ago, I was, for no reason I can put my finger on, just NOT HUNGRY all day. I wasn't sick; I just wasn't hungry. I don't think I've ever in my life before that day had a day where I wasn't sick but also wasn't just hungry all day. I kept thinking to myself all day, "this is what thin people must feel like." It was wonderful and terrible at the same time. It was wonderful because I felt great. I wasn't constantly thinking about food, and when I ate, I ate small portions and was satisfied. It was terrible, though, because I knew that it wouldn't last. I knew that I would go right back to constant hunger, and I was right. I'm still sticking to my eating plan, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hungry. The problem is that when I eat what I'm supposed to eat (even when I eat lots of veggies and fiber), I'm hungry again only a short time later. I wish there was a magic pill I could take to just make me not hungry. The last time I lost weight, I lost about 45lbs., and after being on a plateau for 4 months, I finally just gave up because I couldn't handle being hungry all day with no results. My biggest fear is that even if I lose all the weight I want to lose, I'm going to have to be hungry for the rest of my life to maintain it.
Friday, May 07, 2010
Revelation for today: I may not be bikini-ready, but I'm damn sure going to throw on a suit and enjoy myself. In the past, I've let my insecurities about my body stop me from doing things like going to the beach or swimming at a pool party. That stops today. The reality is that most people are way too busy worrying about their own imperfections to care what I look like in a swimsuit. Not to mention that if they do care and think bad things about me, then they're not the kind of people who matter to me anyway. I swim like a fish, and it's good for me, so f**k all those people who don't like the way I look. ;) I'm going to stuff my fat butt in my swimsuit and enjoy the sun!
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