Tuesday, February 26, 2013
It had been a year since I had my last physical. I have been feeling a bit tired lately, so I went a day early to have blood drawn and requested a full CDC. When I went to see my doctor today, I discovered that my thyroid has all but shut down. It is functioning at such a low level, that we have to double the medication I am on to regulate it.
It was such a huge relief to find a reason for my fatigue. Hypothryoid Syndrome means that my body is not producing the hormones it needs. This results in weight gain or holding on to weight and fatigue, among other symtoms. I have been so tired lately, and I haven't been losing weight as the rate I've expected (based on my history). This explains both! I can't believe how relieved I feel -- a huge burden of confusion and frustration has been lifted.
So, if you haven't had a check up in a while or are avoiding that next physical, GO! It can make such a difference!
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Last week I explored how my lifestyle choices were setting me up for success or for failure. I found that a lot of choices I have been making are setting me up for failure: lack of sleep, not eating during the day, not prioritizing my meals or exercise. I did 4 days in a row of at least 10 minutes of exercise. Then, I took two days off and rested.
So, yesterday I started my streak again. Actually, I started the day before. Because the day before I went to sleep early -- 9 pm. I gave myself time to workout on Saturday instead of cramming my day with "productive" but not self-loving chores. I also chose to exercise even though I didn't want to. I ate well throughout the day, but then contiued to eat when I stayed up late watching TV. I went to bed at 2 a.m.
This is going to be a work in progress!! One step forward, two steps back. My weight loss journey is not a metaphor for life, it is a description of my life so far. I look at how far I have come as a human being: as a young professional woman into a seasoned, confident professiona; as a woman recovering from abusive relationships living in a loving, non-abusive relationship; as a young girl who was taught to hate herself who now knows how to comfort herself when those feelings arrive.
Learning to change these circumstances, to use my own power to make choices that help me, essentially moving through those places into a more self-loving and safe life has taken me a lot of time. It has often been one step forward, two steps back. But, I kept putting one foot in front of the other, and over time, I have transformed my life. I can do that with my weight, too. In fact, I have done it before and lived at a healthy weight for 10 years. I can do this again.
Wow. It takes a lot to write that. It gives me pause. I am so used to being critical of myself, but this is what I have truly accomplished. I have transformed myself from a victim to a survivor to a person who thrives in life. Truly amazing. So, another couple of lessons learned for me on my weight loss journey:
LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE; LOOK AT WHERE I STARTED NOT JUST WHERE I AM. THIS IS THE TRUE MEASURE OF PROGRESS.
RECOGNIZE WHAT I HAVE ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED AND CELEBRATE IT. NO NEED TO HIDE IT!
PUT MY WEIGHT IN PERSPECTIVE OF LIVING A SELF-LOVING LIFE. BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO CONTINUE ON MY PATH OF SELF-HEALING AND SELF-LOVE.
So, one step forward, two steps back. I will get there. My weight will adjust. What is important is that I keep putting one foot in front of the other and honoring the courage it takes to do that.
Warm wishes to my fellow sparklers on your own journeys!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Since I had not been meeting my exercise goals over the past month, I decided to make a new goal: 10 minutes of exercise every day. I have just completed day 4 and already I am learning so much about myself and my habits.
1. I need more sleep! Two days out of four, I have felt exhausted prior to exercising and then fallen asleep right after. I am getting about at least 7 hours of rest each night, but I need more.
2. I tend to over-do it. I will plan 30 minutes of exercise, and do 60 minutes. I am in an all-or-nothing mindset. I want to get in the habit of doing something every day without doing too much.
3. I need to eat more during the day. I find that I am not making time to eat between 9 am and 3 pm. By the time I get home or to the gym I am starving! Then, I exercise and I am still hungry. I need to rearrange my priorities at work to ensure that I give myself the time to eat every day. Without this I am setting myself up for failure.
What these observations have in common is that they show me I am not listening to my body! I am not listening to its needs or its wants. I am asking my body to show up for work, go to the gym, cook, clean, look beautiful and I am not feeding it enough, not giving it enough rest and not respecting my limits. Phew! No wonder I have been in no place to exercise. I need to refocus on my self-care and on listening to my body. This lesson, it seems, I learn over and over again. So, here's another time the lesson is arising: LISTEN TO MY BODY!
I think I'm getting the message.
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