Friday, January 04, 2013
A few days ago I realized that meditation is going to be an important component in my weight loss journey. Although I have been an athlete most of my life, I've also had body image issues since I was in my early teens. In fact, its one of the "secrets" that many athletes carry: we are obsessed with our bodies and "making" them as fit as they can be. We are perfectionists for whom good is never good enough.
Well, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
I am not returning to that mental lifestyle. Good is good enough. And, what is, is enough.
(two years is not a long enough break from that mindset!)
In these past few days, I've been reminding myself of who and what my body is and has done. Here are just a few things that I've allowed to come to consciousness in the past few days:
My heart works all day, every day, without any rest. Imagine. That is crazy! No coffee breaks, no naps, no holiday time off. She works and works and works. If that were my best friend, I would tell her to take a break, or a vacation, quit her job, hire someone else, get a raise, but for gods sake stop working so much! But, my heart keeps working for me, all the time, and I forget. I forget to be mindful of her, to take care of her, to make it easier for her. Today I am thanking my heart for all she does and all she has been through. She is amazing!!!!
Then there are my lungs. Whether I am asleep or awake, resting or working out, silent or singing, my lungs are breathing in and out. In and out, in and out, all day, every day. And, I forget this too. I forget to take care of my lungs, to thank them, to surround them with love and peace. Where would I be without them (lets not think too long on that one!)?
I am reminded of my arms and legs, core and back, all of whom are the aim of my criticism. Yet, all are in ongoing movement through most of the day. If I am not walking, I am lifting or bending or twisting or folding or reaching or typing. These hands have brought me and those I love so many good things. These arms have shared so much love, have carried so many burdens, lifted so much weight. These legs have brought me through 38 years of life, including 36 without a car! They have walked and run 5k's 10ks, half marathons, marathons, stairs, treadmills, hills. They have worked and worked. These legs are f*#&ing amazing.
And, then there is my core; the core that has burned with passion and loss much deeper than it has burned from planks and crunches. The core that has survived and rebuilt time and time again. The place from which I rise every morning. And, I think she is too flabby (?!?!) How can I forget her true strength and courage?
Today I am making choices in homage to my body. Its astounding to me that I ask more of this body and she responds. She gives me more and more every day. She is more than I remember; she is more than I imagine. What would I do without this amazing body day after day, holding and carrying me?
Wednesday, January 02, 2013
Happy New Year!
I have been on/off Spark People for the last two days: New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. In those two days I have made healthy food choices, healthy sleeping choices, but I have found myself feeling down. Taking a few days of rest from the gym was my plan, yet it created a sense of panic in me. I am afraid that if I don't work out every day, count every single calorie, and meet every single goal every single minute I will fail. I am creating such horrible pressure on myself!!
What does success look like for me?
Success is feeling centered and grounded in myself.
Success is feeling confident in and proud of my body.
Success is treating my body with respect.
Success is treating myself with compassion.
Success is taking time to care for and love myself.
Success is living mindfully, enjoying my choices instead of regretting them.
Success is living my life in a healthy way, not only at a healthy weight.
Success is slowing down.
I sometimes allow myself to be driven -- driven by goals or ideals, memories or dreams, even by fears. I don't want to be driven. This happens when I am less conscious of my moment to moment experience of life. I want to be making choices and enjoying this life. I want to practice gratitude and kindness.
I think mindfulness is going to be a very important part of my success. Mindfulness brings me joy, compassion, rest, and love. Mindfulness allows me to experience what is good in my life as well as what is painful. The truth is I have so much to be thankful for. I want to take the time to cultivate my awareness of this truth.
Today I will spend time in meditation to help me live with the awareness of this truth. Thank you for this wonderful new year.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Today is my day of rest.
I will treat my body gently, spend some time in meditation to rest my mind, and enjoy being in every moment of the day. I will practice compassion toward myself.
I will breathe and eat slowly, reminding myself of how lucky I am to have this time of rest and these sources of nourishment.
I will connect with friends and my husband to feel the nourishment of their love. I will share my love with them.
Today is the day I feed me.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Its a good day when I can feel my muscles from the inside out (code for: I'm sore!). I know my workouts are working when that happens. And, this morning, every muscle south of my own mason-dixon line are alive and well. This means today is a recovery day for me: long, slow walk that gets my heart rate up, releases the tightness in my muscles, and allows each part of me to relax.
I'm really looking forward to eating today, too! The kitchen is stocked with fresh oranges, apples, kale, and even a pomegranate! I can't wait to dig in and put together something delicious and nutritious. My breakfast plan: a spinach and apple smoothie (they are SO good!), orange slices, whole wheat toast and a poached egg. Yum Yum Yum!
One thing I love about focusing on my health is how much I enjoy my body. I feel so proud that I completed the strength-training class yesterday (Yowsers, it was tough!). I really appreciate that my body can do all that it can do! I also feel really happy when I see a healthy spread of food with different colors, different textures, and different tastes in front of me. I put it on my special china and treat myself to the best!
These are all reminders that I deserve what is best for me. I deserve to be happy, right now. My body deserves my love and respect, just as it is. And, best of all, I have all that I need to be happy right now, no matter what I weigh. Being grounded in this reality -- I truly have all I need in this moment, right now -- brings me peace and gratitude. This reminds me I am going to take some time to meditate today as well, to dwell in the knowledge that all this is, is enough.
May we all be well today.
Friday, December 28, 2012
This is my third day on Spark People. In the past two days I have been feeling very motivated and focused. I know how to lose weight and keep it off. I am just out of practice.
When I've been working out I can feel how out of practice I am! I've taken two spinning classes in the last two days, and I can actually feel the extra weight on my body. I also feel how clumsy I am on the bike. It was great to feel some of that clumsiness recede yesterday. Even after 1 day of spinning I can see the results in my body's coordination and agility. My body was smoother and more agile in class yesterday. Oh, and it was sore, too!
Today I am planning to go to my first strength training class in a long time. I am hopeful and nervous. I am a big fan of weight lifting; it has been the key to my weight loss and maintenance in the past. I am excited to get started, but nervous to be a newbie again, too.
I keep reminding myself of how good I feel after I exercise. How proud I feel, how happy I feel (thanks to those endorphins), and how well I sleep. Its great to have that time where my mind is on nothing other than what I am doing at that moment. Remembering this helps get me to the gym even though I am nervous about it!
Hope you all have a good day today, full of peace in body and mind.
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