Yes I have finally hit 160 pounds. That is so cool for me. I am more than half done. I have 40 pounds to go now. I have lost 60 pounds that is not a small amount. This is huge for me. I need to see and realize and give myself the credit for this. I really am doing this. I pray this will be the last time I have to go through all of this.
I need to reply to yesterdays blog. I guess I need to say I feel my son controls my actions because he owes the car. I have to bring it back when he wants it, because it is his. I came here to help them and get out of the winter weather, to help me lose the weight also. I do feel they push a little too much. But I also have always let them dictate to me so it is expected. I know it is my fault. I just accept it. i just vent here because I am learning I need to try and learn how to set better boundries next time if there will be one.
Thank you for all your advice and concern not use to having people on my side. It really means a lot and helps me to see I am someone.
I also feel I do not deal with this well. I am now ill, got sick and have to rest today. I also wonder if my body does this to me to slow me down and make me rest. All in all I have lost this weight and I need to give myself the credit I am due.
Got to go swimming again. I have a cold coming on I think, so I wanted to go to steam room and sweet it out. My son is gone again. Out to play poker again, I am taking care of Beto and Charlie.
Which is why I got to go swimming, he let me go for a little while. But I had to come back so he could charge his phone.
I at least got to take care of self in all of this. I am just looking to when I leave. I almost left early but they would not let me cash in my plane ticket so am here till end of March.
I have learned a lot while I was here this is for sure.
Soon I will be weighing myself again. Just cannot wait till I see the 150's. I still have this problem of not seeing what I really look like in the mirror. I get worried I am not seeing what I really look like I do not want to lie to myself. It will be nice to see my friends who will be honest to me and let me know what I do look like. I will have been gone for 6 months and have had a lot of changes in my lifestyle
So here I go again, letting off steam for my situation and learning how to deal with it and take care of myself. My son tells me this am that Mija my DIL is gone till Sunday again. This is the second week in a row. Guess she has a conference in Myrtle Beach till Sunday and she left this am. So he says to me can I go play poker tonight and tomorrow. I hate how they never inform me of there schedules till it happens. There is no respect there. He puts me on the spot and makes it look like there is nothing wrong with what he does. Me I am wondering how do I take care of the dog and the grandson and take care of self too. I also feel they are not fair to Beto my grandson. So I made my son at least give me the car for tonight so we are not locked up in house and I can take him out and give him a good time too. It is not fair to him either. So I am going to try and make the best of it for us and let my son go and do hi thing. In all of this I have to take care of self and do a workout too.
I have to be resolved to the fact they do not want to be considerate of me and it is my problem as to how they are and I will have to learn to fix the situation. That is what I am trying to do here. Am I learning and doing ok??
Thanks for being here so I do not go crazy in all of this stuff.
I did not expect my son to come home early, he did. So I got the car and off I went to the pool. Did my 100 laps and exercises in the pool. really love the steam room. I wonder just hot good this is for me? I stay in it 25 min this time. I had bacon last night and wanted to make sure I was not retaining the salt. I cannot tell that I am sweating in this steam room. Everyone says it is the best around. I also do the hot tub I use it to help my shoulders after all the arm work swimming. Got a blog response yesterday that said focus. So I kept telling myself this as I did my laps.
OMG just saw a lady on TV with her wedding she had a ten carrot diamond ring. I just cannot imagine being that wealthy. I live very humbly and I am happy with what I have. I taught myself to know what I need and the difference as to what I want. Our wants can get in the way of our lifestyles this is for sure.
Hope everyone has a great night. The temp here in SC will be in the 0's by the end of the week hoping I can walk outside finally.
I went swimming yesterday and as I was doing my 100 laps I kind of daydreamed about the Olympics. I thought how do they do it. I watched the cross country guys do 30 miles and I was just amazed about it. The commentator talked about how are bodies have only one hour of think it was semitone, nutrition in our body, then the fat takes over. Well these guys had no fat, they are so thin. So if they hit the mark where this hour is over, they are in trouble. There is nothing left to feed there body to go on more. Plus no place to get it from. How can they be doing this exercise which he said burns and uses more exercise than any other sport. With no reserve. I could just imagine how much they could eat after one of there marathon runs. The endurance is just amazing. Plus the exhaustion when they finish they can barely move. It is really gulling yet they love the challenge. I just found it something that this was mentioned and it was something I never realized about these athletes I did not realize that this happened that you shut down because your body has nothing to put forth. Guess I was really deep in thought of what we as humans do to our body. How we push it to extremes in a sport. We really do have the most amazing bodies that god gave us. When we watch the Olympics it gives you so much proof of this fact.
I feel myself push my body as I swim to just do more. There is a great feeling of power over my body, plus there is a great feeling for me of feeling so much healthier. So when I feel this good when I do why do I fight to get it started. Why are those voices in my head still after 6 months trying to talk me out of doing something that I know is so good for my body. i just cannot figure this out in my head. I so wish I could still get a body I will love and be proud of, still not sure if I will get it at almost 60 years of age. But I am not going to stop trying this is for sure. I have had the best 6 months of my life. I am learning to take control of my body and my life. This is so important to my health and growth and well being to do this for me and my family even if they do not care what I am doing.
I know I have so many family members that do not give a hill of beans what I am doing. But it has become important to me to do it for me and the people here I have met and have become family too. You are important to me and have become a part of my life. Thank you for giving me your times and caring it means a lot.