I lost another 2 pounds this week. I was really surprised at this. SO I feel good and positive today. I got my swimming in today also so this also makes me happy. I have had a lot of positive things today. One negative so I choose to keep my eyes on the positive. I have started another day to try and keep on my program.
I come from a dysfunctional family. My children have problems too. I raised my children the best I could with what I knew. In stating this I do not understand my oldest son. I am at his home in South Carolina for the winter. He got me the plane tickets, and he wanted me to come early and stay for as long as I could. So I am here for 6 months, which is a long time. I know it is not easy living under my sons roof. He has his only family now and I understand that. But I have a problem with how he treats me sometimes. I get my feelings hurt. Now I know I am emotional and get hurt easily. But sometimes it just does not seem right in things he does. So I know I am not a good judge of this so I call my best friend and ask her if I am right or not. SHe tell me I am not wrong and he is wrong to treat me the way he does. I love my son so much and I really try to be a help. But I just feel like I always am wrong and not worth anything to him. Crazy is it not. He just leaves me with this feeling that I am not worth the bother. SO he expects me to just accept what he does and not complain, and be happy with how he does treat me. So my feelings are hurt and I am using my blog to vent again. Just wish I knew what he thinks of me and if he really does love and care for me the way normal people should. Maybe I will never feel truly loved by him. Maybe it is me still. Just wish it was different. Just wish he would show me a little more consideration, that I do deserve more than he has been giving. I know no one here an help me. like I aid I just need a place to vent have no where to do it Thanks
Well I am so excited I am about 10 points off hitting my next trophy. It will be 10000. I am going to push to get it today., Think I will see if using my buddies will help me to get there. It is not my day to do my weights so that messes me up I think. I am having a great day. I got up early cleaned the kitchen and my bedroom. My energy level was high. I do not get them this way often, and it is a great feeling when it happens. I still have to do my workout for the day not sure what I will do. It is a beautiful day outside was thinking about going for a walk. But I have a problem with trusting my body when I am outside a away from a bathroom. I know this is gross. I have this system that really reacts fast when I so my aerobic activity. The only way it does not do it so far is when I am in the water. Any other time my workout is a natural diuretic for me. I really hate it but I am not letting it stop me top keeping on this program. I have tried a lot of things too like fiber etc. But I was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome when I got divorced from my ex. So this is just another issue I daily have to deal with. I am slowly revealing all my issues in my life on this blog. I am praying it will help me to get healthy in all the phases in my life.
Yesterday was terrible, I got caught in the middle of waiting on a ride to go work out. It started at 10 am, and finally at 7 I knew the ride was never going to show up in time. I was so upset. I hate relying on anyone else for what I need. My son let a friend borrow his car, so he had to wait on getting his car back, FIrst he was going with his wives car, but then he realized he left his swim things in his car. Then the waiting got late for picking up my grandson at school. It was a mess of a day. So I never did any workout yesterday. I was very bummed out about it all. Today I was able to get the car and go on my own swimming. So I feel better about it all today.
Ever feel like time just goes by so fast you can't remember what day it is? I have this problem a lot. Just have no center point to help I guess. I do not work and it is only the programs I watch on TV that keeps me in line sort of speak. I have had a quiet day not much going on. I am waiting on my son to get to swimming today. It will be late in the day before I get to do my laps. I did find a new site called swimplan.com. it will keep what I do in my swimming at a pace to help me to lose weight. I just registered today so I am anxious to see how it is going to work for me. Besides that there is nothing else going on. Hope everyone has a great day, Later.