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Maybe I'm doing something right?

Monday, October 19, 2009

So, if you saw me on the friend feed lately, you know that I haven't been feeling great physically or emotionally. I have a lot on my plate (just like everyone else, I'm sure) right now. I have been sick the last couple of weeks and my husband and I have been having some issues. Anyway, I am feeling pretty low, but I have been making an effort to at least ACT positive, even if I have to fake it.

Well, today (when I was feeling like a particularly fat, ugly, and terrible person) one of my co-workers came up and whispered "I have to tell you, you look very pretty. You look like you are happy." !!!!!!!!!! I was amazed. Here I felt like a total loser and have not been particularly happy at all, but I guess my efforts to put on a happy face are working. At least one person out there thinks I am the happy person I soooo want to be!

I'm going to keep plugging away at my troubles. I hope you all do too.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOLANU 10/19/2009 4:44PM

    Wow I am having the same kind of week. Issues with the husband are just making me sad. But I have finally realized that eating chips or a tastykake is not going to make me feel better.I have just been sticking to my plan of healthy eating and exercising even if I don't want to. SO I am very proud of you and your positive attitude. It's contagious. Thank you.

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TAMRALP 10/19/2009 4:31PM

  The old adage is "fake it until you make it," so if you're not feeling that great right now but you're trying to act in a positive way, research shows your mood will fit your actions. I think that it's great that you are trying to stay with your diet even when you don't feel like it, and that you're not giving up, no matter what you feel you've done that might be against the weight loss plan you've set for yourself. Best of luck. emoticon

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Sometimes good things come in 3's...

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I was at the laundry mat today (our well is running low on water) and I read an article in SHAPE magazine about Jennifer Love Hewitt. I really like her show, Ghost Whisperer, and I think she is beautiful as well as realistically in shape. Anyway, in the article she said that every night before bed she thinks of three things she likes about her appearance and that it makes her wake up feeling more confident about herself. So, here are my three things:

1. I like my long hair.

2. I think my face is pretty.

3. Boys seem to like my backside (even if I don't!).

On my journey to lose weight I have learned that it is not just my outside that I need to work on. In order to achieve any lasting lifestyle changes, I need to work on my inside as well. I like the person that I see on the inside and I want others to see it to. So, here are the three things I am reminding myself to do every morning when I wake up:

1. Be kind.

2. Be helpful to others.

3. Be good to myself.

All of these things may seem simple to a lot of people, but I am a work in progress and I am trying to take small steps to better myself on the inside and out!


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About Last Night...

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Last night I met with my writer's group. We meet approx. every two weeks and I really enjoy it... for the most part. One of the members of my group is very tall and very skinny. She is also very nice, most of the time. But she can also be very blunt and sometimes harsh.

We were meeting at a family diner type place and I had planned my day so that I would have extra calories left for dinner, knowing that I would probably eat a little more than usual. I was really looking forward to the evening, seeing my friends, and enjoying myself guiltlessly.

As soon as we got settled at our table, this person started talking about how hungry she was. I said that I was too and that I was looking forward to splurging a little. She then started talking about how she eats so much, but it is okay because she is so skinny. She went on to state her entire workout routine.

It made me a little self conscious because I know that I am bigger than her, but I tried to brush it off. Then the food came and, while she ate everything on her plate, she kept asking me if I was done so that she could take my leftovers to her dog. So, I had to keep telling her that, no, I wasn't finished yet. It really ruined the meal and my mood.

By the time I left, I felt HUGE and pretty bad about myself. I almost felt like she might be doing it on purpose. There have been other times that she has stung me with little zingers and I couldn't tell if she was doing it intentionally or not. If she is doing it on purpose I would like to know why. I feel like we are friends and friends shouldn't try to hurt each other's feelings.

Then again, maybe I am being too sensitive about the whole thing. Advice, anyone?


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POSALMON 10/18/2009 3:43PM

    Thanks, SLWRITER, that is a good philosophy. emoticon

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SLWRITER 10/17/2009 7:24PM

    It's hard to get inside the head of someone like that. It's also hard to know whether she's being snitty or you're being sensitive. I suggest that it doesn't really matter. It took some serious work on my part years ago, but I've adopted a philosophy that works pretty well for me most of the time: "People can only make me feel bad if I let them." It's taken some practice, like I said, but it does help me. My mother used to say "consider the source." but I prefer what feels to me like a more "take control back" philosophy.

Rather than set up a confrontation or give her ammunition for further snits, try to take control back. Go ahead and let yourself feel good about the way you planned to enjoy your event, including the food. You did a good thing for yourself! That's what matters - YOU!



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Weight Fluctuation

Sunday, October 11, 2009

So, I am slightly discouraged today. If you have seen my comments on the friend feed, you know that I was super excited earlier in the week because I not only met my fitness goals for the week (five consecutive days of cardio and strength training), but I was also losing some weight. Well, today I got on the scale and my 174 had turned into 178! That is a four pound increase in about three days! I am so bummed.

The only thing I can figure is that, though I have been staying in my calorie range this weekend, I have not been exercising (because I already put in five days this week). Now, my brain tells me that maybe I have put on some muscle weight and that our bodies fluctuate naturally. I should be proud of myself for reaching my goals. Unfortunately, even though I know that, I still feel guilty. I feel like I slacked the past two days and that I should have done more, and I am all around bummed out.

It just doesn't seem fair that I can work so hard and see an increase in weight. Oh well, I guess the only thing to do is keep going. : (

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POSALMON 10/11/2009 3:36PM

    Thank you all for the kind words. emoticon

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KVM23. 10/11/2009 2:03PM

    don't feel bad! you're doing great!! focus on reaching your goals and the weight will drop...just give it some time. I try to weigh in as few times per month as possible because i find it super discouraging. I look at things like endurance and strength and how i look and feel instead of my weight and that makes me feel better. don't let the scale tell you how to feel about yourself!!
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SCARLETTBROOKE 10/11/2009 1:16PM

    dont feel guilty! you worked hard all week and followed your program. you did a wonderful job. and who knows why the scale said what it did? perhaps it needs to be recalibrated or perhaps you needed to let some internal water out. you did a wonderful job! keep up the good work! emoticon

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10285115CS 10/11/2009 12:52PM

  there are numerous items that can show a weight gain. drinking more liquid than your body is releasing. not going to the bathroom for a couple of days. the time your weighing yourself. different clothing.

i weigh myself the same time every day. before i drink or eat anything for the day.

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The Importance of Planning Ahead

Sunday, October 04, 2009

I haven't been tracking my food for a couple of days. To be honest, sometimes I just get sick to death of entering every single thing that I plan to put in my mouth. I begin to feel obsessed really. Like it is the main focus of my life. Well, maybe it should be.

I just got done entering the breakfast I ate this morning, two small breakfast burritos with eggs, canadian bacon, and cheese. I convinced myself that they weren't that bad for me and one probably wouldn't have been, but because I didn't enter it before hand I was able to convince myself when I finished the first one, that it would be okay to have another.

I ate 837 calories for breakfast this morning. 837 calories. That is approximately two-thirds of my daily calorie intake, or two meals and at least one snack. And, I'm going to be honest here, I was being nice to myself when I was entering my portion sizes, it very well could have been more calories than that.

They tell us and tell us how important it is to track, track, track. I am an example of how right they are. It is too easy to trick yourself, especially if you are trying to lose weight, into thinking you are eating less that you are.

So I guess the moral of my story is this: I need to be obsessed with my weight loss right now. I need to track every single thing I plan to put in my mouth. I need it to be the main focus of my life. Because if I don't do this, if I don't lose the weight and take an active interest in myself I will never be able to live a long and fulfilling life. That isn't vanity. Its not about looking good in a bathing suit (although that would feel fulfilling!). Its about what every human is working towards- happiness. Plain and simple. That is what I want. That is what we all want.

So, if I have to be obsessed for awhile, fine. I will be, because the alternative is no alternative at all.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POSALMON 10/4/2009 7:55PM

    Thanks for the comments. I think you are right, PresidentsWife, I have a few things that have become habits. For instance, I know that my water bottle is 50 oz. If I drink two of them I am well over my water goal for the day. I have used the recipe calculator to enter some of my favorite recipes and put them in my favorites. This is quicker in the long road, but slow going at first. I will have to check out the food groupings, I haven't looked at that yet. Thanks again!

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PRESIDENTSWIFE 10/4/2009 5:29PM

    I totally agree with the tracking, though I think if you develop certain eating habits, it doesnt have to be such an obsession. You begin to know the foods and what they contain, not just how many calories, but saturated fats, sodium, protein, carbs etc..The more you track the less you will need to be so "obsessed". Also I use the food groupings option and put in some great meals that I enjoy eating regularly. Whenever I'm too busy to track I have exactly one of those meals and I know its not too detrimental to my calories. Then I just click on it when I get home and poof...stress be gone! :0) And like I said, worry about the rest of the day now..track it now and see what you can eat that will fill you up but not go over your 1500..you still have 700 calories left. Use it in 3 200 calorie meals and a 100 calorie meal and you will be fine! emoticon

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GAGABABA 10/4/2009 4:02PM

    Totally agree.Keep tracking and you will see results.
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