PORCELINA   28,312
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PORCELINA's Recent Blog Entries

Week 3 of being back

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Hi everyone, hope you're all doing well. We are gearing up to a lovely long bank holiday weekend here in the UK. I can't wait to get some downtime from work.

Unfortunately, at weigh in on Saturday I hadn't lost any weight despite working out a lot and keeping my calories under 1500 most days, I'd actually put a lb back on. The lady looked at what I ate and suggested less pasta or wholewheat variety from now on, which I will try out.

I don't know whether it was weight gain due to the fact that it's coming up to that time of the month (I typically gain 2-3lbs the week during and prior) or that I had indulged in a meal out with my friend on Friday night. We had gone for chinese food, and although I had "budgeted" for it in the day calorie-wise and planned to eat as light as I could, I still failed. I gave in to my craving for sweet and sour chicken and rice and a nice glass of wine, based on the fact that I had been so upset in the week. I know emotions should never be an excuse to eat unhealthily, but if you check my tracker you will see that the rest of my choices in the week had been good ones. With that in mind I justified it to myself which wasn't the right thing to do. However, it's too late now the damage was done, I was embarrassed at weigh in and disappointed which is enough to get me back on track.

Another thing I thought it could be was that I had been eating more of less the same type of meals each day last week as I was the week before when I lost 1.5lbs. I think my body has gotten used to less calories already and so the loss isn't really happening. If you recall from my previous blog I was in a binge-starve cycle for quite a bit of last year.

So this week I have shaken things up lunch wise and been trying some new things. I made a delicious celery soup for two lunches this week, and on workout days I have been eating a slightly bigger breakfast, my main meal at lunch time and then a smoothie as my dinner. This is how I used to eat when I was running a lot. I feel quite good, and hopefully it will work.

I slipped onto the scales this morning and I am pleased to say I am back at 146 but I think I will refrain from weighing and recording until after my period has finished to get a true recording.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHICA_BORICUA 4/17/2014 7:39AM

  stay strong.

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PORCELINA 4/17/2014 6:11AM

    You too, Jude. Hope you have some nice plans!

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BRANDI1809 4/17/2014 5:56AM

    Love your attitude, have a lovely Easter break.

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Bad day

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Had a terrible bit of news last night, and my heart has broken into a thousand pieces. I am lurching from feeling sick to wanting to eat as much bad stuff as I can lay my hands on. I don't know what else to do but write a blog. These days I have no one. My friends have their own lives and families and things to be getting on with. They don't need some washed up, middle aged divorcee bringing them down. I am waiting for the things to get better but will they ever?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PORCELINA 4/11/2014 4:11AM

    Thank you all for showing such support. I really did feel a bit desperate. The situation is getting better and the person has apologised now and I am trying to do the right thing, by accepting the apology and moving on.

Thank you for all being there.

To contextualize the comment I made about my friends: a lot of people have simply drifted away following on from my divorce, it's very sad. My true friends have stuck by me and have been supportive but now that we are all in our 30s and "grown up" they (rightly) have bigger things to think about - most of my friends are married and have children and their own lives to lead. I am the only one now out of us who is single and childless and they really are great friends but their priorities rightly lie with their kids and not their batty friend who cries all the time...

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BRANDI1809 4/10/2014 5:13AM

    Sorry to hear that something has devastated you so badly. As PROPMAN1 said, your friends could give you the support you need.
However if you need to talk, you can always message me via Sparkmail.
Much love
Jx
emoticon emoticon

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PROPMAN1 4/9/2014 10:50AM

  emoticon Don't know what's going/gone on but....I Hope It All Gets Better. Any chance you're not giving your friends any credit? They might be more sympathetic than you are giving them credit for. Things do get better eventually...patience is the key. emoticon

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MIGHTYMOUSE215 4/9/2014 10:47AM

    One day at a time and yes things will get better. They will get easier. Have a good week :)

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Good result

Sunday, April 06, 2014

I had a good result from my session at the Nutrition and Weight Management group yesterday. I have lost a pound a half from the previous week and the leader was really pleased with my diet for the week. I just have to combat the 11am biscuit and maybe replace with a piece of fruit or some nuts, or have a slightly bigger breakfast to see me through until lunch.

Eating more fruit and veg, and upping the water has made me feel a lot better. It's funny because this is exactly how I was eating and drinking 3 years ago when I felt and looked my best and so I know deep down this is the way to feel good and maintain a healthy weight, but over the last year with dealing with depression and a divorce, I seemed to forget that and thats quite sad really. Anyway, onwards and upwards. This has just been one week of thoughtful eating and drinking and already I am feeling better and heading towards my goal weight.

In other news, I tried a new class today - Bums, Legs and Tums. It was great! It was 5 minutes of aerobics style warm up, and then a 6 stage ladder work out up and down a series of exercises both CV and strength, some with weights and some without. The instructor was really motivating and I had a great time. Was a fab way to start a Sunday.

Hope you all have a good Sunday. Thanks for reading.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRANDI1809 4/7/2014 5:38AM

    Great news & well done. Just make sure you keep on being kind to yourself.

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CHICA_BORICUA 4/6/2014 8:16PM

  emoticon

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PORCELINA 4/6/2014 12:01PM

    Thank you very much for your support and encouragement xox

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TRAVELGO 4/6/2014 9:36AM

  Sounds like you're doing GREAT!! Good Luck!!!

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Welcome Back to my Journey (Part II)

Friday, April 04, 2014

Hello everyone, itís been a long time since I have connected with fellow sparkers, or written a blog.

There have been many, many changes in my life over the last 18 months or so. Firstly, I recovered slightly from my knee injury enough to start running again, this was towards the end of 2012. I did some more races in the Spring of 2013, rejoined my running club and started to build up to a half marathon again. But something just didnít feel right with my knee though and so I am back on a hiatus, not rushing to get back to pounding pavements and doing plenty of other things instead. I am actually really enjoying these other things which include circuit training twice a week, weekly body pump class (though I may push to two BPs rather than two circuits), gym sessions and lots of cycling. I bought a new ladies bike in January which isnít particularly speedy, but it is very comfortable and I have been using it for my commute to and from work. I have replaced my Sunday long run for a Sunday cycle instead which is easier on my joints.

Looking back, running did take over completely before I got struck with injury. Whilst it kept my weight way below 140lbs, it was making me very tired and dare I say a bit obsessive. I developed an unhealthy relationship with running and I pushed myself way beyond my capabilities. Maybe getting injured was a sign to slow down?

Secondly, I am now living alone and in the process of getting divorced. Things started to unravel in early 2013, and by September 2013 it was clear that it needed to end. This has taken a huge toll on my health and my weight. I was teetering around the 140-142 mark over 2013 up to when I left, but leading an unhealthy lifestyle: living on my nerves, drinking too much, smoking too much, stuck in a binge-starve cycle and either exercising compulsively or not at all.

I moved to my new place in October 2013, and the process of moving and settling into a new neighbourhood and a new routine really upset stuff. I was eating whatever I wanted and at first hardly exercising, the excuse was ďyou have been stressed plus you are looking for a gym and a new routineĒ. It took a while but gradually my weight crept up and suddenly I was around 148-149lbs. This came as a shock at first: I have been routinely exercising in my new gym and staying active since January 2014, but when I looked at things again I realised that still my eating has been all out of sync: buying lunches from the canteen at work, not drinking enough water, big portions, treats all the time, not enough veggies, eating really late at night and too much booze. This attitude of ďI work out a lot therefore I eat what I wantĒ isnít the case for me these days, it might have been ok when I was running 6 miles 4 times a week, plus doing 2 Body Pump classes a week to eat a lot and not look at the snacks, but these days I ainít doing that, so I have to be more careful.

Losing the 35lbs and having a body I was so so proud of was a big achievement for me, and to think I might go back through my own lack of accountability, laziness and a crap attitude has upset me a lot and got me back on track. I am still exercising as much as I can and doing what I mentioned above (Gym Sessions, Circuit Training, Body Pump and Cycling) and I have started to go to my gyms version of Weight-Watchers. Iíve been twice now and the lady is helping me out, she says I donít have to increase my exercise but look at the times of when I eat, how big my portions are and increase my water intake. I have kept a food diary for her over the last week and I will show her on Saturday - hopefully she will be pleased. The big thing she said to change was when I eat on workout days Ė we are seeing if eating the carb part of my dinner at around 4 or 5pm, working out at 6 or 7pm and then eating the protein and section of my meal after my workout makes any difference. Iíll keep you posted on how that goes, and what she thinks to my food intake from last week. I think you can see what I track at the bottom of my page if you were interested.

Spark helped me get back on track in 2010. I am hoping to do these same now 4 years on. I want to lose 12 pounds and be proud of myself again. Plus I want to put all this turmoil where it belong, behind me.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PORCELINA 4/6/2014 4:51AM

    Thank you, Jude. Hugs xxx

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BRANDI1809 4/5/2014 10:14AM

    We're still here for you.
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Food for thought.

Monday, June 18, 2012

This is interesting:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl
e-2160660/Change-mind-change-figure.html

Although I loathe the DM and usually discount any of it's "diet" articles and scoff at it's obsession with celebrity baby-weight, I found this interesting.

I fall between a gorger and a binger.

Today makes the start of the 6th week without running or cycling. I have continued to strength train in the gym, working up a sweat and my heart rate and building a strong core. However, the 5lbs gained is still here.

The last time I went to the doctors I was 62kg (137) - when I went on Thursday to get some more meds for this damn knee of mine I got weighed again and I was up to 66kg (145.5) !! Today however, after 4 days of clean eating, I am back down to 64kg (141). I am due on my period though which makes a massive difference (usually adding 2-3lbs the week before which disappears as soon as Aunt Flo comes to town). I am wondering though if all these weights I am doing (I am pretty much doing Body Pump twice\three times a week but upper body and core only) is making a difference in weight, or it is just my leg muscles turning into fat.

My knee is feeling a little better, but I have a scan tomorrow to try and get some answers. I am hoping 6 weeks rest though will have done some good and it wont be much longer.

Tonight I am going to a pilates class and then after I am going swimming with a Pull Buoy (so I can't kick my legs), although this won't be the same as a 10 mile run @ 9.15 min\mi it will get my heart going and will count as cardio so hopefully I can start shifting these extra 5lbs. We are going to Canada next week for a 2 week holiday. Last time we went I ate like a horse and was at my heaviest - I vowed the next time I returned this would not be. I am not in ideal shape for this vaca, I am not in ideal shape full stop. However I am going to eat sensibly, allow a couple of treats and a couple of beers but I am also going to ensure I swim with my Pull Buoy when I can (almost all our hotels have pools) and do some weights whilst I am there to try and keep the holiday bulge off. Hopefully when I get back I can get clearance to do more cardio though and I can get to being my old self.

Anyway, take a look at the Daily Mail article, it's certainly food for thought.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRANDI1809 6/19/2012 5:26AM

    Where about's in Canada are you going? We have relatives in Toronto and regularly enjoy holidays over there. Have a wonderful time.
Jx

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MAMABEE480 6/18/2012 8:35AM

    That's very interesting. I'm in the same category as you binger/gorger. Thanks for sharing.

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