POOKIN83   20,506
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An ode to stress.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

This week has been extremely stressful.

There was major drama at work regarding a new employee I had trained. It started last week when I let my frustration show that she wasn't doing as I expected. It was a minute head shake but she saw it. This led to her calling me out on it in front of 4 other coworkers and reception area patients (which is completely inappropriate). Since the incident, she has gone to my manager and told her that I was bossy, condescending and I let my lead position go to my head. . . yada yada. She has even bad mouthed me to a doctor I am really close with. Of course, all of this is getting back to me because I have worked with my company for 2 years and everyone knows that I'm really not the things she says I am.
We finally had a sit down meeting on Wednesday with our manager to discuss everything and clear the air. The conclusion is that she didn't feel very supported in her training and she realizes that it's not my fault because of all the extra duties I have to do now and during the time of her training. I also did not feel supported in training her because we were short 2 or 3 people and the office was super busy. Ok, then. She also was unclear about some of the specifics on doing things. Why her concerns warranted her spreading these tidbits about me, only she knows. I am a person who despises drama and people who spread it. If she thrives on drama then she will not last very long. We'll see what happens on next weeks episode of "Dental Office Dramatics!!"

The second thing, on Thursday I found out my sister in law is leaving her boyfriend whom she has two kids with. One is 2 and one is 4 months. She also has a 10 year old whose dad committed suicide last October. She is definitely alone in this with 3 kids. That being said, I haven't had any contact with her in over 3 years because of said boyfriend. A little back story: Her and I have been friends and have known each other for 21 years. She is a very strong minded person and is going to do what she wants. There were things said and such and we have been on the outs since. The boyfriend is bad news. He is very manipulative and mean. She is finally realizing this and wants to get out. My husband says she may call me and try to patch things up. I don't know if this is because she wants to or she realizes that we are the only ones who can help. Either way, I don't feel like it will be sincere because of the timing. I feel kind of on edge about the whole thing. I want the best for her and the kids but I don't want a relationship with her. She always find's a way to blame me for parts of her life and I feel like she is going to do this again at some point. I'm not sure what to do if she calls me. I guess I'll hear her out and say what I need to say.

Anyway, the point of my rambles is: with all the added stress this week, I have not turned to food. I have not went over board and binged on everything I could get my hands on. I've stayed within my calorie range everyday this week. Before sparkpeople, I would have stuffed my feelings down with food. I love that in the past year I have somehow learned to cope without binging. It wasn't something I was actively seeking to learn but just came about with all the other knowledge I have gained through out the past year. Thank you SP!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GODZYFAN 4/30/2012 9:25AM

    Great job in not turning to food for comfort. I know how difficult that is and is something I battle with constantly! I hope things get better for you at work and with your sister-in-law.

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2012. A year for hopes and dreams to come true.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

Happy New Year spark friends! I thought I'd write a quick, little diddy ( emoticon) about my plans for 2012. There are a few things that I want to happen in 2012:

1. Reach my goal weight! I'm currently at 217 and my goal was 130. A personal trainer told me, however, that I should get to about 145 based on body fat percentage yada yada. So my goal is now 145 and that means I have 72 pounds to go! Definitely doable!

2. Take a vacation with my hubby! In the (almost) 10 years we've been together we've NEVER been on a vacation. No honeymoon. Sad emoticon? Yes. We are working on getting our spending in check and going to Aruba in November!!!!! Aruba, Aruba, Aruba!! (I should make a goal collage for this. . . hmmm palm trees!

3. Quit smoking. I've quit once; I can do it again!! emoticon

Those are the biggin's. I hope that all my wishes are granted in 2012. Unfortunately, there is no genie from a bottle to make them come true. Only me and hard work and determination!! Good luck to everyone in 2012!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECKYANNE1 1/1/2012 5:54PM

    Good Luck on your goals! emoticon

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BECOMING_HOLLY 1/1/2012 12:15PM

    I can't wait to see your pictures from Aruba in your GOAL WEIGHT outfit!!

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Reflection on the past year.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

So I realized this morning that I've been with Sparkpeople for one year. My first food was tracked on 12/15/10! I didn't really get going with the site until April this year but I was still tracking food for 4 months. There are a few things I could've done differently during this year. I could've been a more active blogger. But it's just not something I find myself really enjoying. I like doing it here and there to let everyone know how I'm doing. I do find that it keeps me more involved and I do love reading other sparkers blogs. And I could have been on the message boards more.

I could've been better at tracking food some days. There were some times where I wouldn't track for a couple of days. I also slacked on exercise for the last couple of months (and boy am I feeling it this morning from getting back into the gym). Part of it was because I had no gym membership but that's no excuse.

I could've lost more weight and that ties back to getting in the gym and making sure I track everyday.

Even with the things I could've done better or more of, this year has taught me that there is no "right way" to lose weight. Even with my slacking, I'm 49 pounds lighter than I was last year (267 in Dec. 2010). Even with my slacking, I haven't gained any weight back. I'm still the same weight I was 2 months ago (when I let it all get away from me, stressful time in life too). This is definitely a journey and learning experience and it's not always going to be smooth sailing. I've averaged .9 lbs lost per week and I can be happy with that.

To all of you who get discouraged: it doesn't matter what kind of success you have. Whether you lose 15, 40, or even 90 lbs, only track food, or only get to the gym 3 times a week, at least you're making an effort. And that's what we should be proud of.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECOMING_HOLLY 12/15/2011 10:16AM

    Thank you for sharing this! I am glad you have maintained rather than gained the last two months... and 0.9 pounds per week is awesome! They say that 1-2 pounds a week is good, so you are just about there!

I can't wait to see your progress in 2012!

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Well, HEELLLOOOO September!

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

I can't believe it is already September. Where the heck did summer go? I feel like I was WAY busier this summer then I have been in summers past, which is a good thing. Being busy did not help in the weight loss department however. July and August were dismal as far as numbers being lost. I'm ramping it up in September though. My hubby and I just started training for a Turkey Day 5k! I'm super excited. My goal is to finish it in 40 mins or less, which I think is completely doable. Right now I can do about a 16 min mile but that is with a majority of it walking. I also started reading a couple of health food books and I'm hoping that helps a lot with me finding a larger variety of foods to eat. I'm still going strong on tracking calories. Woot! I just have to be more consistent with workouts which is what I'm focusing on in September. Here's to weight loss!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RCW0442EHS 9/8/2011 7:26PM

    Keep it up, you sound like you're on your way to having a great September. Good luck on your 5k.

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Great day!

Saturday, August 06, 2011

I had a SUPER great day today!! My honey and I went out for a date into downtown Minneapolis. We went to a gourmet restaurant that I haven't been to before. I obviously went over my calories for the day but I made sure to stay at the low range of my calories this past week because I knew I would go over today. The food was wonderful! I did find myself mentally cataloging the ingredients in my meal and estimating how much of each was used. I may still be off on my tracking but at least I attempted to get close! After lunch we took a walk down by the Mississippi river and St. Anthony Falls. Then we walked our way into downtown to the mall (it's about a mile of street filled with shops) and back to the train station. It was all at least 4 miles. I'm hoping that helped with the indulgent lunch!

This week was wonderful. I had a little bit of a bad day on Wednesday but I'm over it. I started doing the 30 day shred this week to mix up my exercise routines. My thighs were SO sore after that first workout. I stepped on the scale this morning (like I do every morning) and I was 227.4 so I'm hoping this week's weigh in on Tuesday for the BLC #11 will be WAY better than it has been the last couple weeks. Tomorrow is supposed to be super nice so my hubby and I have planned to go for another walk down by the Minnesota river this time. We love river walking! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TECAVINESS 8/6/2011 10:50PM

    Glad you had such a great day. You deserved it.

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