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what is this secret? fake it til you make it?

Friday, February 14, 2014

I'm still hanging steady cooking at home and taking the dog out 3 times a week. Some days I don't go on our jog. Somedays I forget my lunch and grab something instead, but I'm still trying to make smart decisions. I think I have a little more motivation as I've planned a trip to San Antonio in April with my love. It's going to be during the Fiesta San Antonio which is supposed to be as big as Mardi Gras. I want to look cute and feel like I can dress up and take photos and feel confident! I'm trying and trying and trying and that's all I can do. I've lost about 7 pounds. I think maybe my motivation lays in how frustratingly slow this is.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RECREATING_ME 2/26/2014 4:01PM

    Planning for healthy eating is one of my challenges, as well. But there is so much more than the scale that benefits from making this change, and that is something to keep in mind.

I think about how sluggish too much junk food makes me, or what I want my test results to look like for an upcoming doctor's appointment. What serves as the key to making better choices varies from moment to moment. Just keep striving to find that key. You are worth it!

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LIVINGLIFEAGAIN 2/14/2014 10:10AM

    emoticon Look at how far you've come - down 7 lbs and still losing! I think just being aware of your moods and fighting through it is demonstrating your motivation to want to lose weight. It's not easy. I'm a slow loser but I promise it is so worth it. When I reached my goal weight it was a big deal. Now I constantly remember how long it took and how hard it was to get to this point. You will get there too. Be strong! emoticon emoticon You got this! A friend of mine always says, "It's not how much will power you have, it's how much want power"!!! Keep up the good work!

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Where are you Motivation!?

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The second week of January my and my boyfriend were reeling from a constant stream of over indulging in food and drink, with the holiday, vacation, and the fact that we're in a new and very happy relationship. We decided to get back to routine with cooking meals at home weekly and working out again.

I'm 'running' with my dog 3 times a week, and try to keep only healthy options in the fridge and pantry. I'm not eating out or grabbing coffee everyday but we do have a cheat meal on the weekends. We are trying to limit ourselves to 1 bottle of wine a week. Everyday I'm trying to drink more water. Everything has been going to plan these past 3 weeks and it's been fun cooking with him and planning meals together. It's also A LOT more work. He helps me cook and grocery shop but I'm usually the meal planner, which can be challenging. Also, it feels like the dirty dishes are never ending with eating every meal at home. Packing my lunch for work everyday can be a struggle as well, and I'm in a new office that doesn't have a fridge yet, so that's been annoying.

Sounds like the changes have been pretty positive, right? EXCEPT, I haven't lost an OUNCE yet, and that's really frustrating.

When I was training to run my first 5k in October I was super motivated to crush my workouts. Now? I'm mainly only going out to make my dog and boyfriend happy. I do try to get my heart rate up, and I know it's better than sitting in front of the computer for another 30 minutes but I'm just not trying very hard. I have no motivation to get back to the running fitness level I was at. It's a struggle everyday I run to get dressed and head out.

As the diet goes, I am pretty strictly sticking with the meals we cook at home, which have to be more nutritious and healthier than all the dining out I was doing before. I'm also trying to limit my sugar intake (using Stevia, and making coffee at home) and not going to Starbucks every morning anymore which saves me money and is better for me in general. The main problem here is I'm not tracking my calories at all. I wanted to give myself time to transition into my new job (very sedentary job) and get into a routine of cooking and preparing healthy meals before I started restricting my calories. Well it's been several weeks now and I still have no motivation to track calories. I know it's the key, and always has been the key to my success before but I JUST DON'T WANNA. It's also been a major irritant to me that my boyfriend is bulking right now and his calorie allotment is about DOUBLE what mine is, if I were to restrict to lose weight. He's constantly trying to eat more and I'm constantly fighting the urge to binge.

I know I'm making positive changes and I need to stick to them to move forward, but I can't seem to tap into that fire in me that wants this so badly. I need an attitude adjustment, and it can't come soon enough.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POGOMOP 1/29/2014 1:48PM

    I like the idea of tracking just one day a week, with preparing these meals in advance I'm basically eating the same thing everyday for a week anyways so that might actually be an option for me!

I also like the idea of not tracking at all. I do try to focus on the positive changes but it's getting harder saying no to the chocolate cupcakes and chips in the office when I have NOTHING to show for ignoring them so far.

I am proud of myself for taking these steps and it's fascinating to me that I have a supportive and kind partner in this journey for the first time ever so that much has been easy and fun!


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MINDYHGP 1/29/2014 12:37PM

    The changes you're making are good ones and I think it's best to make small changes a little at a time than a whole bunch of big changes all at once. You're more likely to stick to it if you do a little at a time. Well, most people..it's like quitting smoking...some have to wean off, 1 cig less at a time, others have to quit cold turkey. Whatever works for you.

Getting out and moving is a great start, even if you're not up to running yet, you're passing all those people that are still on the couch!

As for tracking food, I so can relate! I go in spurts...tracked obsessively for about 8 months, then didn't track anything for a year and gained weight back, then tracked for a little, then didn't...as much as I hate tracking, I know it's important for me because my "guesstimates" are NEVER as accurate as I think!!! If you're not ready to track regularly, how about tracking one day (honestly!) just to see what's happening versus what you think is happening.

2 side notes...I make a ton of veggies or salad so I can mostly fill up on that stuff so my calories aren't crazy at times when I don't want to feel deprived because my husband is eating a ton or I'm with family and don't want to feel limited or leave the table still kind of hungry. Or I can go back for seconds and it'll be mostly veggies or late snack later. Veggies can be filling but low in cal, they've saved me many times. 2nd note-watch the wine! I love me a glass of wine, but those calories can be a killer! Can be 200 calories just in one glass!

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GUDDIGO 1/29/2014 12:23PM

  I see that you have brought about so many changes and a good attitude....I would start by congratulating myself (or yourself)....before taking the next step.

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VK2Z10 1/29/2014 12:20PM

    first of all, if you don't want to track, DON'T. horrible idea to force yourself to do something you don't want to do. 2nd, as long as you are actually making positive changes, focus on that. not what you were doing, but what you are doing NOW. that is the most important. trcking will come back when you are ready. i have been doing this over 10 years, have ALWAYS hated tracking and don't make a great effort to do it everyday. i pay attention to what i am eating, drinking, and exercising and if it is helping me feel better. the # on the scale is just that, a #. in the course of life, it has no meaning or importance.

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Male coworkers opinion of my fat

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Yesterday my manager saw a coworker hand me a bag from starbucks and he asked me what she got me. It was a slice of pumpkin bread, not that I have to rationalize my choice but I was PMSing and forgot to bring my lunch so I had been eating scraps and leftovers from the server fridge. I was hungry and I wanted to be bad, so sue me. When I told him what it was, he looked at me and says "DIDN'T YOU JUST EAT? Something FRIED?!" He's never talked to me in that manner before so I was kind of flabbergasted. I got over that and told him to mind his own business. I had another male coworker tell me two weeks ago I needed to add weight training to burn more fat and said "I'm a bigger woman so I shouldn't worry about fat loss in my breasts or anything from it". Last week a coworker said I was twisting around a lot and as a joke called me "Chubby Checkers", then got obviously embarrassed and was like "you know, let's twist again. . ." I had a cook tell me that the "prep cook said I'm fat" because the prep cook had a crush on me and I guess he thought that was a good ice breaker. I had another coworker tell me I need to stop eating sweets because I'm too big, but he needed to eat them for energy. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE MEN? I'm not freaking house bound because of my size. I feel confident and good looking, and yes I'm trying to lose weight but I'm not in dire straights with my health or anything. I have a really ATTRACTIVE boyfriend that thinks I'm gorgeous. I don't concern myself with ANYTHING ANYBODY ELSE EATS why the hell do they feel like it's okay to say these things to me? How is it their business? It's totally unprofessional, but these instances span many jobs, over many years. I try not to pay attention but this has obviously stuck with me! It's hard to remain confidant and positive when people are constantly pointing out your flaws to you. Am I supposed to be ashamed of myself? Because I'M NOT. I'm really glad I don't give a flip about what these people think of me, but wouldn't it be tragic if I did.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_BABE_ 9/13/2013 5:22PM

    Wow! Where do you work? Where do these guys get off commenting on you in any fashion...good or bad. If I was you I wouldn't even acknowledge them except an icy stare before I left the room.

I got on an elevator years ago with my girlfriend and a short man who was around maybe 5'6", he smiled and said "Boy, you sure must have ate all your Wheaties. I am almost 6 feet tall and my girlfriend was about 5'9". She smiled back politely to compensate for my icy silence. How dare a stranger invade my personal space and make a comment on something that is none of his business.

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RECREATING_ME 9/13/2013 12:28PM

    Ditto what ADARKARA said about documenting the incidents. If it gets to the point that you feel like you are being harassed and go to HR, they won't do a thing unless you have specific dates, times, etc.

So sorry this is happening to you. I will never understand why people feel it is acceptable to make comments like that! Good for you for not letting it bring you down -- what they are saying isn't worth your time at all.

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TIGER_LILY_613 9/13/2013 12:00PM

    Wow.... these guys don't just cross the line, they set it on fire ! Maybe you should speak to HR about it, because it definitely isn't professional behavior.

I'm not good at standing up to people when they're rude or when they've hurt my feelings. I'm usually too shocked to react. The advice I got about that was to ask them "Hey, what makes you think it's ok to say that to me ?" It actually makes them stop and think too (because sometimes, people actually don't really much thought into what they say). And it'll give you enough time to compose yourself and calmly tell them that it's not ok.

Sorry to hear that you have to deal with this.

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POGOMOP 9/13/2013 9:26AM

    I always say something like mind your own business, or I don't care. The one that made the breast comment, I said "be careful, because you're about to hurt my feelings." I feel like maybe I open the door for these comments because I'm so laid back, they feel like they can say whatever they want.

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SIMONEKP 9/13/2013 9:21AM

    Do you say anything back when they make these statements?

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KATYDID412 9/13/2013 8:38AM

    WHAT??! I would be so pissed. It sounds like even though these comments have stuck with you, you have risen above them. Just keep letting them roll right off your back.

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ADARKARA 9/13/2013 8:15AM

    I will tell you what I tell my female coworkers... men are stupid sometimes. Have you told any of them that you don't find their conversation work appropriate? If you mention that to each guy and then it continues, it's an HR issue, but document every occurrence, or it will just be hearsay.

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LULUBELLE65 9/13/2013 5:37AM

    Wow. I cannot even fathom my coworkers talking to me like that. If these guys are actual friends, I would have a private conversation about how while they may have thought that they were being funny, they were being hurtful. Guys do tend to make jokes and be snarky as a form of affection and it is possible that they were trying to be funny and failed. If they are not friends, and you do not have a joke-around relationship, I would tell them that there comments are rude and possibly constitute harassment, and that if they continue, you will have to speak to HR about your hostile work environment.

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PRETTYPITHY 9/12/2013 11:45PM

    Not to offer legal advice, but these comments are not only wrong headed and offensive, they are likely legally actionable. These men may think that they are just treating you like "one of the gang" (I wouldn't be surprised if they trade inappropriate comments amongst each other) but if you feel they've crossed a line and are making you uncomfortable (they obviously are) I would recommend discussing it with an HR person.

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1DERLAND14 9/12/2013 11:35PM

    My jaw hit the floor! WOW! You have every right to be confdient. I know sometimes it's hard to shrug off someones mean comments, but their opinion of you doesn't matter. You have every right to be confident and keep strutting your stuff. You shouldn't have to work in a horrible environment like that or EVER have to explain to anyone what/why you are eating something!

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CLOSETLIBRARIAN 9/12/2013 12:21PM

    Tell them very calmly that the comment is inappropriate and offensive and contributes to a hostile work environment, which can get the parent employer in trouble. Inform your HR director of the interaction *in writing* and keep a copy for yourself with a notation as to the date and time of your interaction with the other employee and also the date and time you notified HR. Furthermore, any comment about your anatomy (breasts most certainly included) is sexual harassment. Period.

Hope you're ok. Hang in there.

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EG8383 9/12/2013 11:55AM

  Wow the balls these idiot men have!! I say continue to walk with your head high and ignore those retards!! I would actually be a smart @ss to them and hit them back with a few smart comments also. Keep doing you! You dont have to explain yourself to them or anyone!

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STUDLEEJOE 9/12/2013 11:54AM

    First of all tell your manager to mind his own business. Remind him what he said is harassment and legal action could be taken against him and the company you work for. All to often men, of which I am one, look at women in particular as sex partners only. Do not worry about what they say. Keep on sparking, remember we are all in this together. We are here for you when you need us. emoticon

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BECKY3126 9/12/2013 11:53AM

    Sometimes people feel that they have the right to get really personal with us and somehow what they are saying is for our own benefit...even though it is very obvious to most that it is not. I had a co-worker (female) yesterday respond to another who had simply mentioned that it looked like I was really starting to lose weight that she "would hardly call me skinny"....and this is from someone who is easily the same size as me or larger.
I think that it is great that your opinion of yourself is better than that because otherwise those people could really get in your head. Just remember that you know who you are, your worth and that it doesn't matter what others say as long as you know that you are so much more than that.

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SHARONCAPPS 9/12/2013 11:42AM

  What you think is important. Don't let what other people say influence you in a negative way. Focus on the good things. Sorry you have people like that in your life.

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eit and dexcersize

Monday, September 09, 2013

We're getting back on track with restricting a bit. Had a pretty intense cheat day yesterday but that's what they're for right? I'm so incredibly proud of my self, I ran 3.1 miles in 45 minutes this morning. I've never run so much in my life, I can't believe I've gotten this far in just a few months of training! I'm going to dominate this 5k run in October!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SASSY5468 9/11/2013 2:28PM

    Excellent work on training! You go, girl!

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PRINCESS_SOFI 9/9/2013 9:05PM

    emoticon

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two cars off the track

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Me and boyfriend aren't doing very good in the eating for nutrition deparment these days. It's so hard when we're having so much fun and we just want to go out to restaurants and drink wine and beer and we're visiting peoples houses and going to parties seemingly constantly! I'm still hitting the gym almost everyday and he has a strict workout regime monday wednesday and friday but I'm definitely gaining weight back, slowly but surely and it's driving me nuts! the house is stocked with healthy food and I try to cook healthfully as often as possible but it's not helping! Please tell me this is just a phase for us!

  


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