Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.
- Will Rogers
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
- Mitch Hedberg
Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
- Dame Edna Everage
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
- Thomas Szasz