The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
- Lily Tomlin
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.
- Will Rogers
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
- Mitch Hedberg
Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
- Dame Edna Everage