There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.
- Demetri Martin
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.
- Willem de Kooning
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
- Jane Wagner