I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.
- Demetri Martin
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.
- Willem de Kooning
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
- Jane Wagner
We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies.
- W. L. George