Though I have the desire and goal for sweeping and vacuuming the floors, it would require me to clean up everything on the floor first.
--Me (this morning thinking "It is Friday. I don't want to do housework!")
Things hurt me now. My knees hurt, my back hurts. But your head still thinks it's twenty-three.
~ George Clooney
The best measure of a person's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
~ Arthur C. Clarke
Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
~ Jim Fiebig
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
~ Rita Rudner