Whoever said 'nothings impossible' never tried to nail jell-o to a tree
~ Lisa Bryant
(Kudos to Lisa for thinking this up! Still not sure why you would attempt it but...)
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
~ Mario Andretti
(I'm peddling as fast as I can!)
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
~ Spike Milligan
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
~ Will Rogers
(I think we might need to find a rock to solve the shutdown!)
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
~ Mark Russell
(From there it must go to Arkansas. I saw a thing on 60 Minutes some time ago.)