Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
~ Dennis Wholey
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
~ Charles M. Schulz
Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, Look, it's always gonna be me!
~ Rita Rudner
The Americans will always do the right thing . . . After they've exhausted all the alternatives.
~ Winston Churchill
(I guess this is where we are now?)
Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
~ Steven Wright