The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
~ Andy Rooney
The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead.
~ Robert Brault
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
~ Sir Norman Wisdom
(Sounds about right!)
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
~ Robert Frost
I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.
~ Ellen DeGeneres
(An oldie but a goodie!!)