My bathroom scale must think it's under oath. It keeps telling me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
--- Linda Poindexter
People who have their feet planted firmly on the ground have trouble putting on pants.
I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.