Why when people ask you “What three things would you bring with you on a desert island?” no one ever replies, “A Boat”.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
(I definitely resemble this one!!)
When life gives you lemons.. Squirt it in your enemies eyes!!
Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.