The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
¯ George Burns
Death, taxes and depression: three things you can always depend on.
¯ Charles de Gaulle, President of France (1959 to 1969)
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
¯ Donald Rumsfeld while serving as US Secretary of Defense
When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws. Only catapults.
¯ Isaac Asimov
(Think about it!)
The only thing worse than hearing the alarm clock in the morning is not hearing it.