To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
¯ Donald Rumsfeld while serving as US Secretary of Defense
When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws. Only catapults.
¯ Isaac Asimov
(Think about it!)
The only thing worse than hearing the alarm clock in the morning is not hearing it.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
The only time a woman can really succeed in changing a man is when he is a baby.
¯ Natalie Wood