When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them, 'I have it at home in my spare wallet.'
Finally things will start clicking…your elbow, knees and back!
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
If you think seven years bad luck are too much more a breaking mirror try breaking a condom.
(A little blue but hysterically funny and true!)