I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year and when they arrive I'll say 'I ordered this damn pizza a year ago!'
Sounds like a plan to me!
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
"Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet."