Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.
That's one way to meet your resolution! I want to meet it the just do it and lose it way though!!
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year and when they arrive I'll say 'I ordered this damn pizza a year ago!'
Sounds like a plan to me!
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.