Friday, April 30, 2010
I just read another person's blog post and she wrote exactly what I am feeling and was going to write about. It started me thinking that we are never as alone as we feel. Yesterday I poster my first pictures on my Spark Page. They go back to just before my bypass surgery in Jan. 2003. Since I posted them I have had an uneasy feeling. I have never enjoyed having my photo taken and most every diet I have done has been in response to a photo. I have the same feeling of dread that people I have know over the ears will see how I looked then. What if they didn't know I had gained and lost a whole person 2 or three times over? I still have 25 pounds to go. I am still over weight. Luckily I'm not "obese" anymore. Well in my head I know there were lots of reasons I gained weight. Heredity, stress, eating habits, comfort foods, hating to exercise, night shift for years and on and on. I also know that there isn't anything to be done about the past. It is history and not worth losing too much sleep over. I need to concentrate on today and going forward. I need to look at my new healthier lifestyle. I should celebrate my victories as the come my way. I am still me just smaller than a few years ago but still larger than a few years earlier than that. It's all good. It has made me, well me. Nothing wrong with that. I will continue to do my level best at life and when I stumble here and there...I will just plug along and come to this site for encouragement and to encourage others. I doubt I will get over my issues with having my photo taken or seen by others but if that is my worst flaw, I am in great shape!!