Friday, January 27, 2012
I got on the scale today and it says I'm up 1.2 pounds from last week. Yes, there were a couple of not so healthy days in there, but I looked at my week as a whole, and I was definitely below my BMR calorie range.
I know, I know, I know - my success shouldn't be measured by the scale. My pants fit great! But, I'm not exercising on a regular basis, so I can't say it's the building of muscle mass and the loss of fat.
1.2 lbs = 4,200 EXTRA calories - above and beyond my BMR range. I have NOT eaten 4,200 EXTRA calories above and beyond this week, or last week! So, the weight gain can't be "real". But, the scale still said 1.2 lbs heavier. :( And that still makes me sad. Where did this stupid weight come from and why won't it go away?!!!!
I wish I was one of those people who could easily brush away the weight gain as "no big deal", and be logical about it (i.e. I haven't consumed 4,200 calories above and beyond my BMR calories)...but I am not that strong. So, I have allowed this minor bump in the road to upset me and shadow my day with grayness.
Just when I was feeling confident about this journey...I have allowed myself to fall.
And to you, Mr. Scale, I say - YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
So, I love menu planning. I like thinking about upcoming meals, putting together recipes (or finding recipes and tweaking them), and creating shopping lists!
I love grocery shopping! To most, it's a tedious task that involves lists, coupon cutting, spending more than you planned, standing in line, frustration over not being able to find an ingredient, and not to mention the loading and unloading of groceries!!! To me, it's a time of reinvention. A way to create a new persona.
It's an opportunity to start fresh, renew, plan the "person" I am going to be that week - the "Please don't look in my cart, I'm already embarrassed at the contents", or the "Only Organics for me, please", or the "I eat a well balanced diet, thank you" Which person am I going to be this week?
I'm happy to report that the last month or so, I have been proud to take on the persona of the "I eat a well balance diet, thank you" shopper. I am proud of what is in my cart and excited about the many yummy recipes that lay ahead of me in the coming week (or two)!
I also love spreadsheets. I excitedly pull up my excel spreadsheet and plan out my daily meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner, and two snacks). I calculate the calories, and ensure I'm staying within my range. I find it freeing and invigorating to create a menu with different items that sound good - ways to fulfill a craving. And since it's all about balance, I'm able to balance out my day around a craving.
For example, I belong to a group on facebook that discusses what they had for dinner that night (a way for busy peeps to get dinner ideas/recipes from other busy peeps). One of the group members posted that she had an avocado and tomato sandwich on toasted whole grain bread.
Since I read that, I have been obsessed with an avocado and tomato sandwich on whole grain bread! That was Monday night. It is now Thursday afternoon and I am desperately craving one! So, I've tweaked my weekly menu planner to include a yummy avocado and tomato sandwich on toasted whole grain bread...with the addition of BACON. Because I LOVE BACON. I mean, who doesn't love bacon? Well, I guess Vegans and Vegetarians don't...but who, of the wonderful meat eaters in the world, DOES NOT LOVE BACON?!
Alas, I have strayed from my point. Accept my apologies.
So, as I was saying - I've had this awesome craving for this awesome sandwich and I wanted, nay, insisted that bacon be included. So, I thought - well, Saturday's dinner is flexible - I can make the sandwiches then! I calculated the yummy, delicious, did I mention yummy? calories for the sandwich and then from there, was able to recalcuate/replan my breakfast and lunch for the day, along with my yummy snacks. The day has been planned!
So, as I was changing this week's menu planner, I thought about all of the searches online for "1400 calorie menu examples", or "menu plan samples", and thought why don't I share my awesome (somewhat obsessive) work with the world (i.e. Sparkpeople)? So, I have decided to share my work with anyone who is interested.
I've put together my weekly menu (the meal ideas/recipes are those I have put together, or found via spark recipes). If you are interested in the recipes (and do not want to search for them, let me know and I will provide). If you simply want to use the spreadsheet as a template, feel free to do that! If you're having trouble with the link - or can't download the document, simply e-mail me and I will e-mail it to you!
The key to this menu planner is to be flexible! Sometimes I'll plan to have something for dinner, only to arrive on that day and realize I don't feel like making it, so I insert a "back up" meal, and then alter the planner (because what is for dinner one night, is usually for lunch the next day). Or, I'll plan a yummy and nutritious breakfast and lunch, only to realize that I left them in the fridge that morning. So, now I must improvise (Starbucks has breakfast yumminess with nutritional info onlin; Subway has healthy lunch ideas)!
All the formulas are active (for the total calories), so all you have to do (if you're using as template) is to enter the calorie information next to each item you're adding.
I will update the menu for next week (01/30 - 02/04) and have that ready for access on Saturday.
I am by no means the model of healthy eating. A lot of the items in my meal plans my be "off limits" to others. My menu plan for the week is not meant as a "do this cause it works!" encouragement, but rather a suggestion of a way to make your week a little bit easier, or help to keep you organized in this weight loss journey.
Eat well, love lots, laugh often!
Friday, October 21, 2011
I cannot seem to get my butt in gear. I canít seem to find the internal motivation to push myself and to get moving Ė literally and figuratively.
So, my plan was to get back on the horse last week Ė staying within my calorie ranges and exercising. This week, I was supposed to start my running plan.
I have not started exercising. I have not started my running plan. And I stuck to my calorie ranges maybe 4 out of the last 12 days (2 of them I was not trying to stick to plan, so Iím not counting them).
And now Iím feeling not so positively about myself.
I think part of it is Iím comfortable at this weight. Comfortable meaning I donít look at myself in disgust and shy away from anything that does not resemble a potato sack. Comfortable meaning I feel pretty darn sexy about 75% of the time.
Iím not happy at this weight though. I want to be thinner. I want to be able to look at pictures and not be embarrassed about the angle of the photo, or that I should have worn a more flattering outfit.
And, although I have some degree of comfort with this weight Ė I think itís a delusional form of comfort. In my head Iím pretty darn hot. In pictures, Iím pretty darn hot about 30% of the time. So, picture form and Jennís head do not compute to the same degree of hotness.
So, my head is preventing me from moving towards success in this journey. The question is Ė why?
Am I afraid of something? Why am I sabotaging my potential for complete and utter hotness?! Hello?! Who doesnít want to be on fire in the looks department all the time?!
Itís simple really Ė eat within my calorie range an exercise more days that not. What is so hard about that!?
I donít feel that drive to put down the cookie and pick up an apple. This is how the conversation in my head goes: ďOh, I really want that cookie. HmmÖI told myself Iíd stick to my calorie range today Ė and if I eat that cookie, then I probably canít eat dinner. I should eat the apple. Itís only 80 calories! But I want the cookie. And I donít really need dinner. Who needs dinner?! Itís 3pm, I probably wonít even want dinner at 6. Iíll be so full from that awesome cookie that itíll be fine. Oh, wait, what? What do you mean the cookie wonít satisfy me for 3+ hours? Stop the logic Ė itís irritating. Ok Ė Iíll eat dinner AND the cookie. But, for dinner Iíll just have steamed veggies. Fiber, vitamins, goodness. Thatíll be good, right? Ok Ė that settles it Ė Iím eating the cookie now. OhhhhÖheavenly bliss my dear cookieÖwhere have you been all my lifeÖĒ And then I eat dinner. Not the steamed veggies I told my logical brain I would eat Ė but an actual 400 calorie meal. Stupid stupid stupid!!!!!! And then I go over my calories. Grrrr.
As for the exercise Ė this last week I have felt pretty crummy. Iím not coming down with something Ė but I feel like it. Iím tired, achy, and have had a horrendous headache the last few days. So, I tell myself Ė rest up dear, go to bed early, and get your butt in gear tomorrow! And then tomorrow, the cycle replays.
OMG Iím so tired of this cycle.
Iím never going to reach my goals if I donít change this.
But, my motivation is just not there. I donít know where it went Ė but Iím really missing it. I need my brain to get in gear and work on the motivation. Or, maybe I need to get out of my brain and into some running shoes.
Monday, October 10, 2011
I completed the Portland Half Marathon today! And I shaved 15 minutes off my previous half-marathon time! Goal = accomplished!
For the last 2 months I have slacked off on my eating plan. I used the Portland Half Marathon training as an excuse to go over and above my calorie allotments, telling myself I would burn it off - or I deserved it because I was working hard.
The result - a slow weight increase that has resulted in my size 14 pants going from a loose "hey, maybe I can get into a 12!" feeling to a snug "oh god, I can't eat in these pants" feeling.
Partly to blame is the camping/hunting trip that I went on last week (we returned on Friday). I definitely didn't keep track. But, I was on vacation and I've pretty much told myself that my weight will fluctuate throughout my life because I'm allowing myself freedom on vacations, holidays, celebrations. I LOVE FOOD. I enjoy food. Food makes me happy. I want to be able to celebrate with food - on my birthday, on vacations, etc. I will get myself back on plan after each celebration, holiday, etc.
So, it may take me a lot longer than the next person to lose weight and get to my goal - and then stay within my goal - so be it. Yes, I want to be skinny. I want to be thin. But I also want to be happy, and not feel deprived.
I've gone off on a tangent because this was definitely not the point of this blog entry. My point is - I've gotten off track and allowed myself some freedom for the last 2 months and I am now ready to get back on track.
I have 51 pounds to go. I like getting compliments about looking "skinny". I like people telling me I look good. I'm to the point where I can tell myself - "you do look good today!" But I also have days where I still don't want to look at myself in the mirror because I don't feel attractive - I feel gross, fat, lazy, and puffy.
I love feeding my body healthy vegetables and fruits. I love the feeling of going to bed at night knowing that I fed my body the nutrition it needed. And starting this week (need to go grocery shopping tomorrow) - I'm getting back on track.
The half marathon was completed today. And now I don't have an excuse for over-eating. My body needs it's nutrition.
So, for the next week my goal is to stick to the low end of my calorie range.
Because I ran the half marathon today - I'm taking a week off before I do any more running (my body needs some rest). I do have a goal of doing some arm work outs with my weights this week - so I will do some arm toning exercises M, W and F this week.
Next week - my goal is to stick to the low end of my calorie range and add 3 days of running, and 3 days of weight training.
And this will continue until I reach my goals, slowly but surely...one by one.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Every weekend I tell myself that this is the week that I will actually stick to my "work out" plan. And every week, for the last 2 months I have faltered. It has left me feeling down and upset with myself.
This weekend, I told myself the same thing. It didn't start off the way I planned - I had a 10 mile run on Saturday that I pushed to Sunday. But I got out there Sunday morning and I ran those miles! And I felt great (not physically - physically I felt horrible, but emotionally I felt GREAT!). I tried to tell myself I could feel that way EVERY day that I completed a work out!
So, Monday I had as a rest day (due to Sunday's run). Tuesday, I planned to go to the track for some trackwork. As usual, I brought my workout clothes and changed into them after work...and WENT TO THE TRACK!!! I did a 45 minute workout of speed intervals and even recalibrated my Nike+. SO far - so AWESOME!
Wednesday, I had as a cross-training day. I didn't get off work until late, and started to feel myself talk myself out of my work out. So, I made a deal. I had to go to the grocery store for stuff for dinner. And I could either do that, make dinner, and try to get my work out in (it was about 7pm at this point). Or, I could walk to the grocery store (8 blocks away), get stuff for dinner, and walk back. It wasn't my planned exercise - but I also hadn't planned on working until 6pm!
And movement is movement, right? Anything that gets my heart rate up and gets me moving can't be bad - it's better than nothing (which is most likely what would have happened). So, I did just that! I power-walked to the store. I picked up groceries, and carried them back (heavy, but not impossible) the 8 blocks. Then I made a healthy dinner and congratulated myself. Not only had I gotten a work out in, I was allowing myself to be flexible.
Old Jenn would have said: "Walking 16 blocks is NOT exercise, you can do harder work, it doesn't count". Then I would have not done any exercise (b/c I have such a black & white thought process sometimes). But, instead, new Jenn said: "Hey, it's movement and it's better than nothing! So go move!" YAY NEW ATTITUDE!
Thursday, I had a 35 minute run planned. Once again, working late, errand running, picking up a friend from an appointment, etc. put me home after 7pm. It was getting dark and I don't like running in the dark. But, I told myself - it's just 35 minutes of my life...which is a drop in the bucket, even when compared with the day. And I can do whatever I want (I really wanted to sit and read) when I got home! So, I put on my running clothes, grabbed my iPod and hit the street. Not only did I put in my awesome 35 minutes...I put in another 10 because I was feeling SO good! 45 minute run accomplished - and it felt GREAT!
Today, I weighed in...and I LOST 2 pounds from last week!!!!!!! OMG I AM SO EXCITED! I waivered with the last 2-3 pounds for about a month and they finally came off, as of today! YAY for my success!!!!
I'm so happy because I have been in a funk the last few weeks. And I managed to pull myself out of it. I can see the sunshine!! And it looks SO GOOD!
Today is a rest day - but tomorrow I have a 12 mile run scheduled. I'm nervous, it's going to be difficult, but I will do it! Because I LOVE this feeling of satisfaction and pride!!!!
I am so excited with what I have done! YAY ME!
To celebrate - I think I'll get myself a pedicure this weekend. Or maybe a massage.
I also need to start posting current pictures...with before/afters (total weight loss while on this journey, so far, 18 pounds!!!!)...
TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY! Scratch that. THIS MONTH IS GOING TO BE A GREAT MONTH!!!!
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