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I will not be moved....

Sunday, September 18, 2011

"I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved...

And the chaos in my life
Has been a badge I've worn
Though I have been torn
I will not be moved"...

I was listening to the song "I Will Not Be Moved" by Natalie Grant this morning. I've always liked it but today it had new meaning for me. Once again, I was disappointed by the numbers on the scale...another week with no loss. I'm so close to that first 100 lb loss but it stays just out of my reach...making me struggle to stay true to this journey. I was sitting here earlier thinking the same tired thoughts that have made me stray before..."Why am I even trying? What's the use...I always fail..." Then the song came on and I realized something....I'm trying because I'm worth it...I'm worth the effort! I might not lose every week and I might only lose a little at a time....but look how far I've come! One year ago, I was 95.6 lbs heavier. I couldn't walk from the living room to my bedroom without being out of breath. I struggled to do everyday chores...walking to go shopping with my daughters was something to dread instead of enjoying our time together.
Look at me now! My husband asked me the other day if I realized how much more active I was....seems like I'm always on the go...either to the gym for water aerobics or working out, or out with my daughters and granddaughters....or going to antique shops with my husband. I love this life now and I know it will only get better as long as I stay on course and keep doing what it takes to get healthier. I'm no longer willing to short change my self and my family. This is the only life I have and I deserve to give it my best effort. So....I might lose slower than some might take me several years to get where I want to be...but I'm ok with that now. My life will still have chaos and struggles and I'm sure I'll still have days when I wonder if it's worth it, but now I'll just turn up the volume, let the song play loud and sing along..."I will stumble, I will fall down....but I will NOT be moved..."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKY2012 3/12/2012 9:04AM

    Good morning and I am looking forward to our Spring Biggest Loser Team Challenge together, yeh!!!!!!!!! emoticon

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LIVE_TO_LOVE 10/13/2011 11:53AM

    I love that song, too! AWESOME encouragement. Congratulations on all the changes you've made! It's those wonderful little differences that keep adding up and equal ONE HEALTHY LIFE. You're DOing it! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GEORGIA_KAY 9/21/2011 12:55PM

    What a marvelous, uplifting, encouraging blog this is! You are such an amazing woman, twinny, I hope you truly realize that. You are SOOOOOOO worth it!!!

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SUSSA1222 9/20/2011 9:03AM

    Hang in there. You can do it! Love that song! It is very inspiring and so are you!

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BESTCK 9/19/2011 10:43AM

    That's so amazing! What a journey. You WILL make it. Kudos to you for being patient.

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MICKEYMAX 9/19/2011 7:32AM

    You go girl!

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_KATHY 9/18/2011 7:42PM

    emoticon Great blog. You really are an inspiration.

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MAMADWARF 9/18/2011 6:05PM

    that is sooo amazing. I was very inspired today reading this blog. You have come a lonnnnnng way baby, and it doesnt matter how long it takes to get that 100, just keep doing your thang... and to be able to have the life you do now? that is priceless. Thanks for reminding me of all the things I can do now that I couldnt 70 pounds ago. I needed this. Jan

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DIFROMWYOMING 9/18/2011 5:56PM

    I think many of us can relate to this and I'm proud of you for hanging in there! You've done wonderful and yes, we will all get to the end of this journey and some of us will take longer, but it's the journey that counts. Good for you!

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    Like you, I struggle with motivation when the scale doesn't give me the answer I'm looking for. Like your husband, mine reminds me of how far I've come and how much I have gained since I started this journey. And like our lives, it's about the journey and serving God not the weight on the pesky scale. Hang in there!


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A little bit closer...

Sunday, September 04, 2011

I weighed in yesterday and lost 1.4 lbs. I was pleased since last week was such a small loss. It still seems like that 100 lb mark is getting further away instead of closer but I'm determined not to get discouraged and give up the fight. I joined a Health Club here in town a couple of months ago so I could go to water aerobics. I found out last week that they are starting a new free 4 week program for members that includes mentoring and workouts with a personal trainer. I signed up and get started on that this next week. I know that it will give me the kick in the pants that I need to keep going and I'm looking forward to learning some new workouts and new ways to eat healthy. I also start my new challenge here on SP with my Sapphire Beauties team and am looking forward to that. emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEORGIA_KAY 9/16/2011 7:06AM

    Twinny, your goal really is getting closer all the time. I think you're doing wonderful, and I'm so proud and happy for you!

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LISA0517 9/7/2011 11:20AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Congrats on your loss! You will reach the 100 pound mark before you know it.

Your free program sounds great! What an awesome opportunity to get some one on one time with a trainer.

I'm so happy to be Sapphire Blue Sisters! We are going to rock this challenge!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MIZZSPARK 9/4/2011 6:26PM

    Congrats on the loss! *Any* loss is a victory. Keep it up!

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So close....

Sunday, August 21, 2011

I'm so close and so ready to hit my 100 lbs lost but it seems like the pounds are just not wanting to leave! I know I shouldn't complain because I have been successful so far and I intend to keep doing what it takes to reach my goals...BUT....I really want to hit my 100 lb mark by mid September since that will be my 1 year anniversary of starting this new journey. Guess I'll just "keep on keeping on" excuses. I'm at 92 lbs down and I'm ready to get this done! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TARAHA 9/1/2011 5:29PM

    You are an inspiration. I know you can do this!

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    You have made an amazing amount of progress! Be proud of yourself and give it your best shot. I am floored by your persistence! emoticon emoticon

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KPDRMNG 8/22/2011 1:59PM

    Awestome! emoticon I'm sure you will make it!

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MELLIL 8/22/2011 1:39PM

    You can DO it!!! WHAT a milestone!!! emoticon

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CHINAGAL 8/22/2011 6:14AM

    I'm pulling for you!

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 8/22/2011 6:00AM

    Congratulations on your amazing success so far! Keep up the good work!

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DUTCHDAVE 8/22/2011 12:13AM

    it will happen

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Vacation musings....

Saturday, July 23, 2011

For the past few years, we've tried to go on a family vacation about the same time every summer. Last year my daughters and I had been talking about starting a new diet. We decided to enjoy our vacation and then get started on the diet when we got home. I wasn't excited about starting another diet...really felt like kicking and screaming...but I agreed because I wanted my daughters to be happy with themselves and be healthy. We went to the beach and I spent most of the time sitting on the balcony of the condo. I was pretty much hot and miserable most of the time. I never actually went to the beach and never went to the pool...putting on a bathing suit was definitely NOT an option. My husband and I went to some antique shops and I spent about half of that time in the car...walking through the shops made me hot and back hurt, my feet hurt...I hated how I felt. We got home and after putting it off for another few weeks, I reluctantly got started on the new diet. This time, though, I made a few changes. I decided to track my food faithfully...if I ate it, I owned it....good or bad. I also decided no foods would be off limits for me. I have always had trouble sticking to a diet in the past because of feeling deprived after a few weeks. I decided I would eat whatever I wanted as long as it fit within my calorie range for the day. So....vacation time is here again and what a difference a year makes! I no longer consider myself on a "diet". I eat what I want to eat during the day and track it with no exceptions. I have found out that I eat healthier foods because some foods are just not worth wasting the calories on. I've also found that food just tastes better. I spent so many years as an emotional eater that I quit tasting food...I just mindlessly ate. The good news is my program is working...since last September, I've lost over 86 pounds. I probably could have lost faster but I'm happy with my progress and haven't felt deprived at all. I'm excited about going on vacation this year. We're going to the mountains and I'm looking forward to hiking and going swimming with my granddaughters. I'm looking forward to going to antique shops with my husband. Life has changed so much this year...and all for the best!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAYBELIEVER 7/26/2011 8:42AM

    Awesome! What an great reflection on the progress you have made toward the person you are today and will continue to become! Have a great vacation and enjoy every moving moment of it!

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DIFROMWYOMING 7/25/2011 12:45AM

    This is just wonderful! I'm so, so proud of you and all you've accomplished in the past year. That and you are a wonderful team mate and such a support to others on SP. I am grateful to have you on the journey with me and can't wait to see what year 2 brings!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SRHALLIN 7/23/2011 6:40PM

    -CONGRATULATIONS!- You've accomplished so much in such a short amount of time!

The greatest part of becoming more healthy, is that it affords us the opportunity to truly become part of the world we live in, and to interact more fully in the lives of those we love.

Enjoy that vacation thoroughly. You've certainly earned it!

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BL Summer Challenge with the Sapphire's what keeps me losing!

Saturday, June 04, 2011

We were asked to write a blog for our upcoming Summer Challenge...talking about what we expect from the challenge and how we'll stay on track. Some of you know my story from previous blogs and I would guess that most of us share similar stories....heavy most of my life, losing and regaining the weight more times than I can remember. I even found SP a few years ago, went to the trouble to set up a page and then left before even getting started. My daughters and I decided to start a new program to get healthy last September. I wasn't looking forward to it...just didn't know if I had the energy to start yet another diet...already thinking I'd last a few weeks or months and then fail again. I finally realized that I needed to step up and do whatever it took to make sure my daughters don't have to go through this same story in their lives....I needed to lead by example and let them see that they could get healthy and still enjoy life. After all, if Mom can do it at this age with this much weight to lose, they could surely do it. So...with that mindset, I sat down and made a plan. I found a free app for my phone where I could track my food and I made a promise to myself that I would be totally honest in tracking and would not give myself an excuse to miss tracking. I put in my information on the App and it told me I could reach my goal in May of 2012. That almost made me stop before I got started...the thought that it would be that long before I would reach my could I do this for that long?? Then I realized something that changed my life...May of 2012 is going to get here whether I do anything or's my choice to get started and actually be healthy by then or let myself be defeated and still be obese and unhealthy. I chose to get started. I used the original App for my phone for a week or so, then remembered SP. I came back to the Website and then found the SP App. I decided to join some groups and get involved. After a short time, I got an invitation to join a challenge with the Sapphire Beauties team. I wasn't sure what to expect but thought it couldn't hurt to try a challenge. I just never knew how much it would help on my journey to get healthy. There are some amazing women on this team. They are there when I need them...supportive whether I'm doing great or need encouragement to keep going. The weekly challenges are important to my success at losing weight...they motivate me to workout, not only for myself and my weight loss but because I don't want to let my team down. I want to do what it takes so that we all can be the "best us". I doubt that I would be as successful with my weight loss as I have been without this team. I know that this challenge, like the others, will inspire me to do my best. This is the team that I want with me when I reach my goal....whether it takes 2 years or 5 years...I know they'll be there to cheer me on. When I'm tempted to get off track, I just remember that I'm accountable to my team. Thanks Sapphire Beauties for being there for me! There are so many things that I can enjoy doing now that I had been missing out on. I walk and don't worry about gasping for breath. Last weekend, my daughter and I took my granddaughters to a beach about an hour away...I was able to walk in the sand and enjoy has so many new possibilities. As of this morning, I'm 76.8 lbs down and can't wait to continue on this journey with you all! emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYBUG1107 7/20/2011 5:13AM

    emoticon I liked the blog.

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    I am so proud of you! You've done amazing and were such an inspiration to everyone on our other challenges. You're right...2012 will come no matter what you do-so the choice is do you want to be healthier in 2012 or miserable with all your weight back in 2012? And then the answer is simple, isn't it? I will use some of this to keep myself moving forward! Thanks for sharing your story with me. Hugs, DI

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