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Too skinny??

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Went out to dinner with our best friends last evening. Sadly, they are moving to Oklahoma and we are already missing them! They are responsible for introducing my wife and I on a blind date over 12 years ago, so we are very close!

I was taken back a little by a comment the wife of the couple made. She has been working in Oklahoma the past few months so she had not seen me since Memorial Day weekend, so I'm 10 pounds lighter and have a clean shaven head!

Anyway, after hugs, she said she was jealous of how I looked (that one I am OK with), but then said "you are too skinny now!", which then my DW jumped and agreed as well, making a point to mention that there are others who think that!

I didn't give it too much thought until this morning, but of course now I am. My measurements tell me I am not too skinny -- in fact my BMI is still in the "overweight" category (26), and that has been one of my key guides.

I clearly do not consider myself "too skinny". Maybe when others like my friends and DW look back in their memory banks when I tipped the scale at 287 (BMI was 40 then - morbidly obese!), then I guess I can see how I might now appear to be "too skinny", but it's scary to think we Americans (I personally think this is a US issue, but those of you from other countries can comment) have conditioned our visual senses to look at someone like me and think that is too skinny!

Well, as they say, everyone is entitled to their opinion. But mine is what counts the most and I am determined to reach the goal I set for myself -- to be "normal" on the BMI scale.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 8/13/2012 9:11PM

    A great many people feel they have an open door to comment on others' appearance, behavior, etc. I appreciate that she is a dear friend but would it have been so difficult to compliment you on your weight loss then ask how you did it and what your ultimate goal is? -- Lou

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JOYCECAIN 8/10/2012 9:15AM

    Peoplle are used to seeing you heavier. Congrats on the new you. Remember, it is only your opinion that truly matters. I like the new look. Thanks for commenting on my blog. I had a bad day.

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BBECKER1955 8/8/2012 6:34AM

    I get similar comments, I'm sure some folks are expressing genuine concern. They associate losing weight with illness. I guess that's natural enough. I am constantly surprised that those closest to us who know of our health struggles have such reactions.
You keep going, as others have stated you need to be happy with yourself.

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KARYN03 8/7/2012 10:17PM

    Sometimes its just jealousy...I hate to say it but some people are just too envious of others (whom they my feel threatened by for various reasons). As far as I am concerned from looking at your pics, you look like you are at a healthy point. I would just brush it off. Its THEIR problem, not yours. emoticon

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MDGARDENGIRL 8/7/2012 8:28PM

    I am going to take a different view point. I do think when people diet and lose a lot of weight, they do look like they went too far. Some of it is perception I agree. But I think our bodies don't have the proper amount of hydration to plump out our skin. Once you stop "dieting" and start maintaining, I think you will fill out those hollow spots and not look so emaciated.

Does that make sense? Just my opinion.... not based on medical science.

PS: I think you look great Patrick and I'm sure your beautiful Wife of 12 years does too!

Comment edited on: 8/7/2012 8:45:36 PM

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NWFL59 8/7/2012 6:04PM

    You are the best judge of your health status and we all are aware that others perception of our healthy appearance is rather dependent on their own experiences, goals and learned responses. You look happy to me. emoticon

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PLMITCH 8/7/2012 4:21PM

    Thanks everyone for the positive comments and the heartfelt support!!


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    I get the same response, they are just use to us being big that this size makes us look too skinny. LOL, I see it as a compliment...they can't imagine how we could get any thinner and be healthy well just wait and see! emoticon

When we tone our muscles we actually lose size but gain in weight, yet we are thinner and healthier by doing it! People don't understand...they have to walk a mile in our shoes to really see we are not going to do anything that is's all about health not what size I am!

I use to be 110 lbs and no one said I was too skinny then because they were use to seeing me that size.....they will come around...but keep doing what is have the right mind set!

Proud of you....thanks for the blog!

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DRAGONCHILDE 8/7/2012 2:50PM

    This is 100% about perception! They're not used to the new, healthier you. They are comparing the picture in their head to the way you are now.

I have a friend I've known most of my life. He's never been a small guy; 6'5, large frame, just big and strong football-player type. After college, he blew up.. probably weighed a good 300 lbs.

Well, he got fit, lost it all, and now weighs less than he did in high school. And I will admit it... *I* thought he looked too skinny! That's because I was comparing him to the person I've always known. Not who he is now. Compared to the old him, his cheeks looked sunken instead of plump, his neck was too thin, and he just didn't look right to me. I've known him for almost 20 years now.

I've gotten used to it, and I realize that my initial reaction was a kneejerk one, and not an informed one. He wasn't "too skinny", he was just uncomfortably different!

NOw, I know how incredibly fit and healthy he is, I think he looks GREAT! He IS healthy. You're fighting decades of misperception and poor health. They'll get used to it. If they doubt you, challenge them to a footrace. :)

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HANSBRINK 8/7/2012 1:59PM

  I receive the same comments from people I haven't seen in a while. Or they think I'm sick.

Stick with your plan. You are the best judge of what's going on with your body, health and fitness level.

Beware that others will now try to "fatten you up." You're too skinny and need to eat more!

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BYFTHALONE1 8/7/2012 1:37PM

    I have 40 pounds yet to go before I am at my goal weight and when I tell that to people they just shake their heads and tell me where I was going to lose it? We have to be happy with ourselves, whether it says it is correct by the BMI or any other chart.

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MOBYCARP 8/7/2012 1:06PM

    This is common for those of us who lost the weight relatively quickly, particularly from people who didn't see us during the process. I only came down 30 to 35 lbs (depending on what I count as the start point) to where I was in maintenance, but several people who didn't see me over last summer expressed concern about my health because I'd lost so much weight.

Thinking back, most of the people who made comments like that have known me about 20 years . . . and had never before seen me at a healthy BMI. They've also see people lose weight quickly because of serious medical issues, so that's kind of where their mindset is.

I used to tell them I felt great and could run a 7 minute mile, before I had to stop running because of the foot injury. Now I tell them I can do more pullups than ever before in my life.

But it does get better. By the time I was six months into maintenance, the comments about losing too much weight had pretty much stopped. People got used to seeing the new me, which is the me I want to maintain.

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GREENGENES 8/7/2012 12:53PM

    I got a similar reaction when I was first successful at reaching my target range. The funny thing was the first person to say that to me was a woman who works at the campus fitness center! My target has always been to be in the healthy BMI range and at that time I had just barely gotten below the overweight range so I was certainly not "too skinny". For me I think it has a lot to do with how I lose weight - I tend to lose weight in my face early in the process which is what people notice first.

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BOB240 8/7/2012 12:48PM

    Yes.. it started happening to me about 20 pounds ago.UK here so it's a universal old eyes issue.

Part f the issue is that a man can go up to 20% bodyfat and look very good. It's hard to distinguish between muscle and fat at that range.

Women have a similar problem - it's the old skinny fat issue. As long as women fit into their dresses then they think they are OK. Truth is very different..

Comment edited on: 8/7/2012 12:48:56 PM

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PAPAMIKIE 8/7/2012 12:35PM

    It is always interesting that when I was 250 pounds on my 5' 8" frame no body said, "Michael you are too fat, you are killing yourself."

I mean, there might have been a valid reason for others to point it out, out of concern for the fact that I was doing myself a harm. However, when I got down to 160 I do have people telling me that I have lost too much weight, even though I could still loose weight without being in danger as far as the experts are concerned.

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RRBSKI 8/7/2012 11:07AM

    Stick to your guns Patrick...I'm shooting for the "normal" BMI myself...I think it's just a "comparison" view that they are referring to and will get used to the new you.

Couldn't agree more on the "conditioned" minds of US society....and it exists in more areas than just weight...but...I won't go there.

Just know....I'm trying to follow your great accomplishment. Have a great day.

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HEALTHIERKEN 8/7/2012 10:55AM

    "'. . . scary to think we Americans (I personally think this is a US issue, but those of you from other countries can comment) have conditioned our visual senses to look at someone like me and think that is too skinny! "

It's becoming an issue in Canada as well, Patrick. And you're right--what we see most often is what we come to accept as standard and desirable. Thank goodness, when it comes to weight, fitness and nutrition, there are empirically-derived independent standards to compare against. I share your concern that close family members are seeing your approaching standard healthy levels of weight as unhealthy. Sounds like you've got a bit of teaching to do : )

You *are* right to have goals that are supported by health research. Stick to your guns, as GETSTRONGRRR says.

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SOFT_VAL67 8/7/2012 10:17AM

    i think when people get used to seeing you, overweight and then you lose the weight, they still have this memory in their heads of how you are supposed to look, or how they recall you.
i doubt you are too skinney, but maybe it will take time for their minds to recall you as merely, no longer overweight.

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KAYOTIC 8/7/2012 10:07AM

    I think your assessment is correct, it's in the comparison to your old self that you seem "too skinny" to them. Once they get used to the new you, they will see your good health rather than stick to it, you're doing great!

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GETSTRONGRRR 8/7/2012 9:42AM

    Stick to your guns.....they're seeing you with old eyes!

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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Today would have been my mom's 79th birthday. As some of you may remember, she passed away 7 months ago on December 31, 2011 after a long illness. No doubt she is in a much better place, free from the pain of her earthly body!

I do miss talking to her each week, and on an occasion like today, sending her flowers. What I started doing instead is to send a donation to her favorite charity in memory of her.

My dad has been doing OK, though he does not seem as interested in moving to an independent living facility we toured back in March (which he really seemed to like!). He's doing fine on his own, but he just is not getting much human interaction. Oh well, all in due time...

So not too sad of a day. Just taking a few moments to reflect the wonderfull moments I shared with this special lady...

emoticon Mom!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 8/13/2012 9:14PM

    My Mom also died at 79, on Dec. 21, '04. It made for a rough Christmas and, like you, I miss her terribly. When times are especially sad, I recall her smile and a happy time we shared. That helps. I hope doing so will help you, too. -- Lou

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SOFT_VAL67 8/2/2012 10:21PM

    its hard to lose a loved one, i cant imagine the loss of a parent, but i know you are strong and you have the right mindset and heart to get you thru these times....
so glad to know you are doing so well.

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CASE4GRACE 8/2/2012 11:32AM

    What a beautiful tribute to your mom. It sounds like you had a special relationship with her, and I'm sure it's hard to be without her now. Hoping happy memories and knowing she is in a better place will bring comfort for you and your dad.

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LOPEYP 8/1/2012 2:35PM

    It's tough to lose a parent and tougher dealing with the one left behind.
I am glad that you have good memories of your Mom to get through the tough days.

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Less than 10 to go....

Monday, July 30, 2012

I normally don't do Monday morning weigh-in's, but I was feeling rather frisky this morning, so I decided "what the heck!". And since I was a good boy over the weekend by getting LOTS of exercise in (mowing the entire yard over 3 days) and keeping my calorie counts in line, I was rewarded with a 188 lb weigh in!!

Sometime I have to pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming some of these weigh-ins! It feels good to be successful!

Anyway, I am now 9 pounds away (hence the less than 10 title of this blog) from my goal weight of 179. And I am determined to get there!

Thanks to everyone with your kind thoughts and words!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 8/13/2012 9:16PM

    emoticon on your inspiring weight loss. Being so close to your goal must be exciting. -- Lou

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JACKH35 7/31/2012 9:01AM

    Are you saying that eating right and moving more really works? I guess so.

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BBECKER1955 7/31/2012 5:59AM

    Fantastic job! emoticon

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ADKISTLER 7/31/2012 12:29AM

    emoticon emoticon I wish I had your will power!

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HEALTHIERKEN 7/31/2012 12:14AM

    Oh, YESSSS!
Way to go, Patrick : )

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MILLISMA 7/30/2012 8:20PM

    emoticon emoticonyou're almost there!!!!

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GOLFCHICK2-0 7/30/2012 5:00PM

    Holy schnikes!! I hadn't taken a good look at your pics for a while. You look GREAT!!! Keep up the great work. You are an inspiration!!

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BYFTHALONE1 7/30/2012 1:14PM

    nice job! once you hit your goal weight is the LB then removed or does that stay for the long term?

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RRBSKI 7/30/2012 1:11PM

    Super Deal Patrick...your hard work and willpower are why you're where you're at; a great example for us all. Continued success emoticon

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MDGARDENGIRL 7/30/2012 12:08PM

    You're not dreaming Patrick. You're working your butt off and your efforts are paying off! emoticon

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ONE-HOT-MAMA1 7/30/2012 9:36AM

    way to go keep it up

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MOMMY2GIRLS 7/30/2012 9:33AM


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DEBBIELCG 7/30/2012 9:31AM

    Great job keep it up. emoticon

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300 days since LB surgery

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

My calendar reminded me that today marks 300 days since I had my Lapband surgery. As I have said throughout this journey, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Not only the weight loss, but also the healthy living -- better eating habits, better exercise decisions -- to name a few.

i recently read that New York Jets coach Rex Ryan had the LB done a few years ago and he just crossed the 100 pound loss mark. FANTASTIC! He was a good 80 pounds heavier than I was, so as much as I needed it, he needed it even more so. And I've read he's taken up running, etc....just like me! The big difference is he is now a paid spokesperson for Lapband -- which means he makes some good money pitching his changes -- while I am just a volunteer trying to spread the word!

In any case, it has been 300 days of many changes, all for the good. Not for everybody, but certainly an option when all of the other methods (and sadly scams!) of weight loss aren't working.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 8/13/2012 9:18PM

    I find it interesting that you celebrated 300 days, what with you being a bowler emoticon always shooting for those elusive perfect 300 games. emoticon -- Lou

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KARYN03 8/1/2012 2:45PM

    Thank you for your encouragment...I also had lapband in April so I am thrilled to hear how well you have done. Keep up the great work and keep me posted AND any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated as I start my LP journey!

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CASE4GRACE 7/28/2012 2:35PM

    Congratulations on your success!!

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MDGARDENGIRL 7/27/2012 3:47PM

    Isn't God just wonderful to allow us the time for a do-over!!!

Congratulations Patrick!

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NWFL59 7/25/2012 9:56PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BBECKER1955 7/25/2012 6:46PM

    Happy 300th. I suggest that lapband offer you the job. Not only are you better looking, but you make more sense when you speak or write!


Comment edited on: 7/25/2012 6:47:32 PM

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HEALTHIERKEN 7/25/2012 1:08PM


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NINJA_SMOO 7/25/2012 10:59AM

  Happy 300th day aniversary :)

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Victory over fair food!

Monday, July 23, 2012

For the past several years (6 years to be exact) we've been attending regional and state fairs (2 years at the "Big E" up in MA and 4 here in DE at the Delaware State Fair) and of course there is nothing quite as satisfying as fair food! Not good for you, mind you, but satisfying! Fried everything, etc, etc.

While not the worst food there, I do love smoked turkey legs, but the calories in one you can get at a state fair can easily top 1000 calories. So, last evening after the Styx concert, my wife and I were hungry and decided to get some food. Of course I got my smoked turkey leg, but something interesting happened: I only ate MAYBE 1/4 of it! I brought the rest home, but that plus 20 french fries (yep, I counted them!), and that was more than enough! AMAZING!! Previous years, that leg would be gone, plus a whole plate of fries and then maybe a fried oreo or a funnel cake! One sitting! No wonder my weight hung in the 270's for so long!

So I am declaring a victory over fair food. Not that you don't taste good, but I just did not need or want as much of you as in the past!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IUHRYTR 8/13/2012 9:20PM

    Fair food may be tasty but the calories aren't fair at all. Good going on the willpower. -- Lou

Comment edited on: 8/13/2012 9:21:20 PM

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BBECKER1955 7/24/2012 7:17AM

    Wow! Your a better man than I Patrick. emoticon

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RBETYOURASS 7/23/2012 1:51PM

    Awesome job! For me it's tough being here in New Orleans as we have a festival of some type of food it seems like every weekend! Oh the temptation! Good for you for keeping strong and realizing how much more work that enjoyment would actually take to get rid of! Congrats!

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RRBSKI 7/23/2012 11:45AM

    Good for you Patrick...great job.

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HEALTHIERKEN 7/23/2012 10:51AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WALLINMW 7/23/2012 10:02AM

  Way to go! Stay encouraged; slow but steady wins every time!

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