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PLAYING2WIN's Recent Blog Entries

She Always Told Me the Truth ~ Even If It Hurt

Sunday, April 27, 2008

It's my Grandmother.
At 5'1" She has always been a force to be reckoned with. Demanding respect from her family and living a life of dignity. I never heard her lie or mistreat anyone. She gave all she had to help her family. When she walked in a room "us kids" stopped what we were doing to get her instructions. She was not to be played with! My grandmother has always been there for me. When my mother (her daughter) passed away in 1984, I thought I would never get over it. She was the one who stayed up with me at night when I could not sleep. I have hear her many times praying for me and my other family members. She has been at every major event in my life - several graduations, wedding, new house, baby! When I needed to be "talked to" she would LET ME HAVE IT! She has never held her words. She would SET YOU STRAIGHT! She has had discussions with me about my weight many times (unfortunately). She has taught me more than any other person about what it takes to make it in this world. When she is visiting with me, it is an honor for me to cook for her, help her move from room to room and to comb her hair. Thank God he put her in my life. To sum up everything she has taught me would take too many posts.
But here are 4 things:

1. Always trust God and yourself.
2. Life is what you make it.
3. Don't allow anyone to mistreat you... you can do bad all by yourself. You don't need help doing bad.
4. One thing no one can ever take from you - that's the education you put in your head.

On December 25, 2008 my grandma will be 95.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NIKKIBABY73 5/6/2013 3:48PM

    Wonderful Post! My mother and one of my sisters who I am very close to tells me the truth when I want to and don't want to hear it. Never sugar coating and always with love.

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STEPHIE79 5/24/2008 12:54AM

    Thanks for this blog!!! She once told me "You have to crawl before you walk" It's okay the path you take to get there. To not be ashamed. emoticon

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GODZDESIGN95 5/15/2008 11:56AM

    The words from a wise and seasoned grandma. Praise God. May God increase her and you. emoticon

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    What a beautiful tribute. Your grandmother is a great one to have in your corner while you are on this journey. Ask her to pray for your strength to complete your weight loss goals.

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I Want Back What Was Stolen From Me!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Good Morning!

I was thinking today of all of the things that was stolen from me due to the weight I have gained over the last 13 years. I know that I have been over 200 pounds since 1997. I looked in the mirror this morning and made a mental list of how different I am now that I'm carrying this weight. I have always felt my best at 165. For many years, I was able to maintain a size 14. After I got married (my husband does all of the cooking and his father was a Chef so you can guess I EAT REAL REAL GOOD). I do not blame my weight gain on my husband, he never shoved any food in my mouth. My portion sizes were HUGH and I snacked all day long. I think I can eat as much as a man. My weight caused arguments between my husband and me. He does not mention my weight anymore because I yell at him to stop smoking and to take the peg out of his own eye before he looks at the plank in mine (I am not proud of this and I have made amends to him). Well...back to the story... I slowly and sometimes fastly started gaining weight until I got to the all time high of 234 pounds (I was 236 the day I had my daughter) at which time I noticed I could not cross my legs without holding the leg up there, my belly sat neatly on my lap, and I could not walk a flight of stairs without feeling like I needed an ambulance. Well... I have had ENOUGH and I am not giving up until I lose this weight, no matter what happens. I will pray, pray and pray. I will cry out. I will call my friends for support - by any means necessary! I will run from the break room on "cake" day. I will exercise on most days (actually I like to exercise). So here it is... my list of things the devil stole from me due to my weight.

1. At parties I compare myself to every women in the room because I feel so uncomfortable. I tell myself ... well she is thin but I'm prettier.

2. We were at the movies and I saw my husband look at another women (he did not glare at her but I knew he was attracted to her because she looked like me only a size 10.) My daughter even said she looked like me. I felt tears come to my eyes. When asked, I told my daughter the wind was bothering my eyes.

3. I don't wear shorts, short sleeve shirts, or swimsuits... period.

4. I don't wear sexy night gowns because I would not be able to stop thinking how I looked in front of my husband.

5. My husband has not seen my body in YEARS! The lights go off fast.

6. I get mad every time I have to buy new clothes. Thank God for Ross and Marshall's because I won't go into "fat" stores. It's not because I don't like the clothes it's a mental thing - if I don't go into those stores I can pretend I'm not really fat.

7. I cannot look at myself without going "Oh my God."

8. My doctor tell me every time I see him ... Kim, when are you going to lose this weight so I postpone doctor's appointments until it is absolutely necessary.

9. I HATE family gatherings. I think everyone is looking at me!

WELL... I am TAKING BACK EVERYTHING THAT THE DEVIL stole from me which is for the most part HEALTHY SELF ESTEEM!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEPHIE79 5/24/2008 12:49AM

    Hey there. It's great that you were able to get real and express truthfully what has plagued you with the weight gain. I've felt the same about some of those. I'm sooo sorry for your #2. BUT YOU WILL GET THERE!!! Dealing is half the battle!!!
This has opened my eyes in ways that I've been in denial. We can't change if we choose to go there. (Tell your little Miss I said hi :)

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THINNYMINNY 5/13/2008 7:05PM

    Dear PLAYING,

I feel sad when I think about all the experiences I missed in life because of my weight. Even worse are the ones that I could have had in spite of my weight, but I was too ashamed to even try.

Keep your eye on your goal, my friend, and know that each time you make the right decision to exercise or eat right, you are moving closer to the day that you reclaim all the things that you gave up.

I believe that all things work together for a purpose: maybe our weight issues are serving a purpose in a greater plan. Certainly the effort and faith that it takes to lose a lot of weight develops our spirits as well as improving our bodies.

You can do it! Keep sparkin'!

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CHONDAS 5/13/2008 3:28PM

    dang.... it's funny that you wrote this and it's exactly the way I feel. I want my curve back so badly. I'm gonna have faith that God will deliver me from us from this. I don't want to live a life of fear of going to the doctors and getting a bad report. I'm way to young for that.

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ALCARPENTER 5/3/2008 2:36PM

  This blog is a good one. It is so inspiring. We all are on the way to getting back what was stolen from us.

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PRECIOUS191 5/1/2008 10:22PM

    Thank you for being so honest and sharing this. You have put a lot of my thoughts into words.

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JAGSOWN 5/1/2008 8:52PM

    Man thanks a lot for telling me to read this!! Be encouraged and I will too

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    I'd put this in my favorites if I could. Thank you for sharing.
~Roxanne emoticon

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1LOREAL 4/20/2008 12:45AM

    i'm glad you posted this...i feel/felt so many of these same things. thought i was the only one. NOW lets take back what was stolen from us. This time its NOT a return item! Lets knock this weight off

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LINDA_CONGER 4/16/2008 7:11PM

    I'm with you all the way, I've always fought my weight and this time I'm winning. When ever you feel the need to vent just sign on in and write, we are all in the same boat. emoticon

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EBONYLIFE 4/16/2008 6:39PM

    I'm right with you on this! We will win this battle!!


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D710DANCE 4/16/2008 3:37PM

    I am with you. Know that the enemy's battleground is the take it back first! Do not allow him to cast not another single negative self-defeating thought about yourself. You are fearfully and wonderfully made regardless of what the scale or your closet says!!!

Much love,
Deondra :)

Had to come back and give you a weapon to fight with!!!

Psa 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully [and] wonderfully made: marvellous [are] thy works; and [that] my soul knoweth right well.

Comment edited on: 4/16/2008 4:16:06 PM

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IBARN82 4/16/2008 2:02PM

    Yes, girl...we will win this battle. One step, one day at a time. I have had a new found focused, too. Let's keep each other motivated. YOU CAN DO IT. emoticon

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CBRANCH76 4/16/2008 12:48PM

    We are going to win this battle. Once and for all....THANK YOU LORD!!!!

Peace, Love and Many Blessings,

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LAURABRAT 4/16/2008 11:43AM

    Inspirational post, I hope you can put all those feelings behind you and take everything back! I love SP because it gives me the chance to happen on posts like this so I know I'm not alone in all this. Thank you for being brave enough to post it. Best of luck to you in all this!!

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