Monday, December 05, 2011
Since my first child was born, so cute and cuddley...I wanted only the best for my children. I wanted them to have this and I wanted them to have that...every Christmas was trying to see how much I could buy for those precious little ones...I wanted to show all my love for them in all those gifts...but this year, they are prepared...they are getting NO more stuff they really don't need...those extra gifts I frantically go searching for and stay up late to wrap. I am saying yes, to more time with each of them this year, and showing them the love I have in my heart, not in my pocket book. Don't get me wrong, each one is not really spoiled per sey, and they do appreciate everything they ever got...but reality is, i didn't enjoy the holidays as much..i was just too darn broke, exhausted and usually sick!! This year, i am giving them a NO to all that...but a yes to a more focused mom...yes to a well rested mom (I know hard to believe from me..lol), and yes to an always broke mom. I'm saying no to spending our grocery money on presents, but yes to food they will have in their tummy whenever they want to come visit...I am saying no to spending all that money, but saying yes to all that time we will have, instead of the other way around.
In years past, I knew what the holiday was really all about, but I also couldn't appreciate it for all it was because I was too caught up in the things of this world. That stops this year. This year I am going to appreciate every single gift that God has given me...that isn't the gifts that can be bought with money...it's the gifts of my children talking, joking and laughing...it's my grandson's coo's and giggles...it's the tummy of my dd1 who is now holding grandbaby number 2...it's going to be my daughters talking about pregnancy and the joys thereof...or not thereof...lol... and watch my son and both sons in law roll their eyes and try to talk over them...so yes, i am giving a big NO...a few times over this year... but it's all for the yes's in life that truly matter.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
I think of some of the years past, and the holiday season... i can't say they were all the happiest of happy's... my family, especially the extended family, put the disfuntional family in the dictionary...lol. Then as i got older, we started losing that family... and though we could still be thankful for the time we got with them, it was still a time of morning and sadness. And, yes, we still miss those that have passed on...but with each Thanksgiving, we also have so much to be thankful for. We lost my father 6 years ago...his birthday being in November... so to say Thanksgiving was hard those years would be an understatement...but i am so very thankful for the time we did get with him. See, he should of died when i was 13..the doctors all told us to say our good byes... not only did he not pass away then, but lived to see each of his grandchildren born...and the last one off to kindergarten... so that each one could truly remember him and the impact they made in all our lives... last year, we added a baby girl...born to niece who was too young to be a momma... but looking at that baby girl, who can say she was a mistake... to me, her great aunt, she is awesome... she is and will always be my monster baby... lol... she was a bit of a stubborn streak in her... but her Aunt JoDee just thinks it's too cute...tehe... this year, we also added another baby...my perfect grandson... he looks so much like his aunt (my oldest daughter), yet looks like his mommy and daddy to... he's the sweetest nature lil man a grandma could ever hope for... and then...yes, and then...i think of my dd1...who is carrying my second grandchild... about the size of a kidney bean right now...and i think of who it will be..another boy?? a girl?? will they be a big baby like grandson 1...or just a tiny little being? will it have a stubborn streak like his aunt, or sweet natured like his momma was... will the baby look like his aunt and/or uncle...or a combination of his parents? oh how i am already going crazy to hold this new addition..tehe..
My preacher said last night that you couldn't be depressed when you were busy counting your blessings..and oh how i have found that to be so true these last couple years... no, it doesn't mean we won't be sad at times...but even during those times, i can't help but to think how truly blessed i am. I already talked about my dad..but now let me remember my dd2...see, dd1 was a bit of a complicated pregnancy...and i was told not to get pregnant for at least 2 years... well, God had other plans...and i found myself pregnant way before dd1's first birthday..yea, i did know what prevents those things, they just were not a 100%...lol. during this pregnancy, my husband was injured at work 2 different times, having to off work for extended periods of time... which meant, no money coming in... also, there were other stresses within the family...which effected my pregnancy... my dd2 was born 10 weeks too early... at 3 lbs, back then, they were pretty sure she was not going to make it... and then she could, but would be a vegetable...at best, very mentally challenged... i can remember bringing this beautiful tiny baby home... as i was leaving with her bundled up, they looked at me and said...mom, you have a wonderful beautiful miracle...remember that because the next couple years she is going to push your every button... i looked down, and laughed, and wondered how such a tiny bundle of joy could ever be a challenge such as that...and then i got her home... lol..from that moment on, i think of the sleepless nights because she just plain did not want to sleep... plain and simple... she was stubborn and strong willed from the get go...and only got worse as she got older...and yes, i do remember, as the doctors and nurses advised, to think of what a wonderful miracle she was...if i didn't, she would of gone up for adoption at the local pet shelter...lol...kidding... today, right now...i remember the first complicated pregnancy...and how she is carrying my second grandbaby...and then number 2... so much a miracle herself...who gave me this perfect first grandbaby...
And it truly does not end there...see, i look around...the pictures of my family and friends... the good times i have got to spend with each one..the blessing of just knowing them... i have a roof over my head...a job...a car that gets me there... a wonderful church and church family...a God that loves me and gave His son so I could have all my sins forgiven and go to Heaven when it's my time... we have food...plenty of food...lol... i have eye sight to see all these things and hearing to hear my blessed life with all it's giggles and coo's... i have a ds who is as much a miracle as baby 1 & 2...who isn't planning on giving me grandchildren for many years...which is just fine with me... and though i can't wait until he finds "the one" and does bless me with grandbabies, i am also thankful for what he gives to me right now... i really could not ask for better children...all of them perfect in their own ways... all beautiful (please don't tell my son i called him beautiful...lol) and smart... and then, i have SP..and my wonderful friends on here...Thank you to each of you that put up with my ramblings...lol... and make each day just that much more brighter :)
Happy Thanksgiving friends
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
This blog was going to be about learning something new. Something I strive for often in my life. But then I read a quote that inspired me toward something else, and a lot of thought. So, in a nut shell, this will be a mixed bag :)
First, do you know what this is?
It's an Osage Orange. There are other "nick" names for them, but the proper one is the Osage Orange. It comes from a native to Arkansas & Texas tree. Though the trees can now be found around the US. The fruit lets off an orangey floral scent that is said to keep spiders, roaches and fleas away. Inside this fruit contains an inedible pulp that would make you sick if ate, though the seeds are said to be just fine (i'm not willing to try it though...lol). One of our drivers at my work gave me one yesterday, and needless to say, it was the topic of the day from those, like myself, who had never seen or even heard of such a thing to those that knew all about them.
Now for a quote i read this morning as i was going through my emails:
You must constantly ask yourself these questions:
Who am I around? What are they doing to me?
What have they got me reading? What have they
got me saying? Where do they have me going? What
do they have me thinking? And most important,
what do they have me becoming? Then ask
yourself the big question: Is that okay?
For me, pretty thought provoking. Why these 2 things I blog about right now could be important to my healthy life style and wanting to lose weight? Well, let's start from the bottom up. Do the people I hang around encourage me to reach further in my lifestyle goals? or just the opposite? Then the Osage Orange. in itself, just a new fact to add to my minds files...but, because this intrigued me so, I did research on it...which kept me busy... both physically and mentally. Didn't even think about eating...so worked out :)
Anyways, that's my new insights for the day.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Dr Oz had a show on the other day (just got to watch it yesterday...lol) On adult ADHD... so i found a little quiz online to determine if you could have ADHD...now, i pretty much knew i did... i was diagnosed as a child before it was even called that...lol... but my parents decided not to put me on medicine...what they did to help me worked... to a point...lol... at some point i have to learn to deal with it on my own also...but first...i had to know i had the disorder... you can't deal with a problem until you acknowledge there is a problem... so i took the little quiz..and was reminded...this is a real problem... i am going to have to reach back in my memory bank and find what worked for me and put it into action... i'm also going to have to come up with some new ways, on my own ways, to deal with this... why, you may ask would this be brought up? Because i feel this is affecting my weight and the way i deal with food.. see, one of my biggest problems is my impulsiveness... this relates both to my eating and my money... when one thing is out of order in my life, i can guarantee you that my whole life gets whacked because then i start to do things, like eating that piece of cake i really don't want, or buying a large french fry just because i am passing a mcdonalds...lol... if i just take the time to stop and think, things are good...unfortunately i find i can tend to lose control because i'm not doing just that... So, it's time to face it... and deal with it... time for me to make a plan... and hang it everywhere i will see it...at my desk at work, in my car, and all over the house... i can do this...
Here is a link to the Dr Oz quiz: www.doctoroz.com/quiz/could-you-have
Saturday, October 22, 2011
It's been an exhausting week, that is for sure. Monday's i usually get up tired due to we don't get home from church until about my bed time...so i am usually going to bed a bit late... which is no big deal, i usually have the rest of the week to get to bed on time or a tad early if need be...not so much this week. dd2 calls me at 3am on Monday morning...my normal wake up time to say she was in pain...she had been to the hospital last week for these same pains and all they said is it could be gall bladder or heartburn... due to my mom and i both having our gall bladders removed, she made an appointment with a doctor for the end of this week to have it checked out...well, she didn't get that far...she ended up down at the hospital on Monday and they did do an ultra sound...yep...gall bladder... surgery was a must, but they had to wait for the inflammation to go down... so she was admitted. this being the toughest part really for all of it due to having to leave her newborn baby to the care of others...and to top it off, they were giving her pain meds that she wouldn't be able to breast feed on...so to formula we went... dd1 babysat until i got off work, then to the hospital for a brief visit with him mommy and then home to eat and him to take a nap before meeting my mom for us all to go down to the hospital... where baby's daddy took over... surgery was scheduled for next day, afternoon sometime, whenever they could fit her in...so i worked in the morning, then went over to my moms to get her and then to pick up dd1 and down to the hospital... baby and his daddy met us down there where we sat for most of the day...ok, ended up all day... we ended up not getting out of there until after 8...and since i get up at 3am, and had yet to even get 6 hrs sleep much less the needed 8...i was a whipped puppy... baby spent the night with my dd1 so the dad could get some rest and be with my dd2... on wednesday, they were going to release her but then thought twice about it because she wouldn't eat...so back down to the hospital i went to talk to the doctor... i got to explain that she just wasn't interested in eating (totally normal) and that she was at least farting (meaning everything is working in there)...so he finally released her so she could rest at home with her baby... now it was time to find babysitters for her and the baby...lol... needless to say, i didn't get to bed near the time i should of... dd2's sis in law came over for half the day, and then i worked half a day and then some errands then home so she could drop baby off... and dd2 could finally rest... i knew she wouldn't with people around, so i kept baby at my house and then when her husband got off, he could bring her over to spend the night and my ds could baby sit them on Friday... needless to say, my dear grandson has scared his uncle into never having children...lol...and by the time i got home from work, ds was more than happy to hand off baby duty to me... they stayed a couple hours until her hubby got there and they went home...and the funny thing is...i still did not go to bed..i cleaned up...lol... but by the time i did get to bed..i did sleep...and not having to get up early was such a blessing... but oh my word...the work i still have to do...lol... i have enjoyed the extra time i got with my grandson, and those lost hours of sleep didn't mean a thing when i looked at those precious eyes looking at me... he's growing so fast... 6 weeks old already... then i look at my poor dd2...who has had 2 surgeries in those 6 weeks... and seeing her pain, physical from the surgeries and mental because she feels she has let down her baby and just the sheer missing him because she can't take care of him... yea, i cried with her... and explained that she was a wonderful mother...that now she didn't have to worry if she was alone with him and getting one of those attacks... she could now heal and know that she was the best mommy that this lil man could have... I also thank God... he got her through this safely... i also thank God for such a tight nit family... we all stood together to do what needed to be done for both the momma and the baby... and with so many of us, both could be attended to... I thank God that i have a job that is understanding of the time i needed off to care for my family though my family is raised... most don't understand even when the kids are younger...but they understand that and even beyond. God is good :)
Here are some pics from this week of that precious little baby that God has blessed us with... just 6 weeks now.
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