Monday, May 30, 2011
Today is Memorial day, and for many families, it's a time to get together and eat, and though I won't say that is a bad thing, i do like to eat...lol.... i wonder how many really take the time to think of what this holiday is really truly about. For me, I see the flags flying, but for me, it's not a one time or even just a couple times a year thing... I love the USA...i am proud to be an American... and i try to always remember those that have fought for it...but today i take the time to really think, to really pray and even cry a bit. My grandfather served as a Marine in WW2...and though he didn't die during that war, he did contract Maleria that would later take his life at too young of age...leaving behind a wife and 3 children, 1 of them still in high school. i was the only grandchild he got to know...my brother born just a couple days before he passed...and unfortunately, due to my brothers own health issues, he never got to even see. i think of my father who has passed though not due to military, but still he served in Vietnam while my mom was pregnant with me. i think of my dd2's husbands brother who is my ds's best friend...now serving his country. He was back this week for a family funeral and went back this past saturday... and then i think of all those that not only serve today and the ones that have served and those that have lost their lives....but i think of each family who makes a sacrifice for their loved ones to serve our country. I want to say Thank You to each of you, those that have served, those that are serving, to those that have lost their lives and to those that have gone on to tell about it and to all those families that serve with the sacrifice of their loved ones defending us, protecting us and fighting for the freedom of the USA.
Take a moment to think about our military and their families and to honor those that have lost their lived defending our country. www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRCQypnVeXA </link>
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Ok, for the last 2 weeks i have not lost any weight...in pounds at least... and though i have lost a total of 5 inches...it's still a tad bit discouraging not to see the scale go down. To be honest, i really wondered why i was trying...yes, thought about giving up. eat what i want, go back to sitting on my lazy butt...just blah!! But i keep trudging along. And then Thursday, I was watching Dr. Oz. he has been trying to help a 700 pound woman lose weight... she has been given every tool to help her and yet this last month she only lost 1 pound. So Dr Oz took her to the morgue of a hospital...and showed her the effects of fat... an enlarged heart that could no longer bear the weight of the fat of the person now deceased. then the liver, taken over not by alcohol but fat! and then the fat that surrounded the insides... if that was not an eye opener that i needed...then it was the call i got right after that segment that would... a dear friend from our church (also he was my dd2's husbands uncle) had passed away just hours before this call...from a fatal heart attack. He was overweight and diabetic with a heart condition and last year had told his doctor he was tired of trying...and it literally killed him. He will be greatly missed, and i mourn for the loss of such a wonderful man who loved everyone he came in contact with him. I also had past memories of my father passing away... from a massive heart attack...on the same day of the week (a Thursday) and about the same time of day... yea, memories were hitting me and hitting me hard... and each time i had to tell my other 2 kids, it was hitting them also...my heart i think literally bleeding from hearing their pain not only for the good friends loss, but the painful memories now slapping them in the face... as i write this, i am crying not only for the loss of the good friend, but the pain of the memory of losing my dad and the feeling the pain of each of my children. But, as much as this hurts, and it does hurt, I also realize that I can't give up on my quest to lose weight...to be healthier... i don't want that to be me... i don't want to leave my 3 dear kids and the grandbaby that is on the way... i want that grandbaby and many more to know their grandma... and not as one that was overweight and sick...but one that was right there with them playing and dancing with them... not a grandma who gave up, but one that lived life to it's fullest until she passed away of old age... i am tired of my fat being my life.... i want more... my kids deserve more... and when i am gone, i don't want them to remember the fat woman... i don't want them to mourn for what could of been...i want them to see a woman that gave her all...
I'm hurting...my heart is twisted with so many different emotions...but this isn't going to bring me down...it's shoving me try harder.
This blog is dedicated to my dad-Joe and for a good friend-Jeff. RIP to both of you.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I finally figured out why I am so “full-figured”!
As I was conditioning my hair in the shower this morning, I took time
to read my shampoo bottle. I am in shock!
The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my entire body says
"for extra volume and body"! Seriously, why have I not noticed this before?
Tomorrow I am going to start using "Dawn" dish soap!
It says right on the bottle, "dissolves fat that is otherwise
difficult to remove". It pays to read the warning labels, my friends!
Thursday, May 05, 2011
I have to be tougher. At work we are in the midst of a lot of change. I don't do change well. In the past, no matter how good i was doing, change would send me right over the edge. So far I have been doing good. When I feel like caving, i go for a little walk. Well, today i did just that, came back from lunch and they had ordered pizza...PIZZA! I am so blessed to have friends where i work and the one was so good to remind me that weigh in is tomorrow! I got on SP and entered in a piece of the bread that came with the pizza and perfectly fine with that bread. I stuck to the small amount and was not even tempted by the pizza again... wohoo!!! go me. Yes, i am still watching though...i know this is a vulnerable time for me... so i am keeping alert of the foods around me so that i don't cave to temptation. i realize that life is ever changing, and i can't keep using that old excuse if i am to lose weight...
In my bible reading today, i was reading Psalms 37 and this is what i heard God telling me:
Psalms 37:1-Fret not.
We are not to fret because of evildoers for they shall soon be cut down like grass.
37:3-Trust in the Lord
we shalt be fed.
37:4-Delight thyself also in the Lord
He will give us our hearts desire.
37:5-Commit thy way unto the Lord
He shall bring it to pass.
37:7-Rest in the Lord
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