Saturday, May 21, 2011
Ok, for the last 2 weeks i have not lost any weight...in pounds at least... and though i have lost a total of 5 inches...it's still a tad bit discouraging not to see the scale go down. To be honest, i really wondered why i was trying...yes, thought about giving up. eat what i want, go back to sitting on my lazy butt...just blah!! But i keep trudging along. And then Thursday, I was watching Dr. Oz. he has been trying to help a 700 pound woman lose weight... she has been given every tool to help her and yet this last month she only lost 1 pound. So Dr Oz took her to the morgue of a hospital...and showed her the effects of fat... an enlarged heart that could no longer bear the weight of the fat of the person now deceased. then the liver, taken over not by alcohol but fat! and then the fat that surrounded the insides... if that was not an eye opener that i needed...then it was the call i got right after that segment that would... a dear friend from our church (also he was my dd2's husbands uncle) had passed away just hours before this call...from a fatal heart attack. He was overweight and diabetic with a heart condition and last year had told his doctor he was tired of trying...and it literally killed him. He will be greatly missed, and i mourn for the loss of such a wonderful man who loved everyone he came in contact with him. I also had past memories of my father passing away... from a massive heart attack...on the same day of the week (a Thursday) and about the same time of day... yea, memories were hitting me and hitting me hard... and each time i had to tell my other 2 kids, it was hitting them also...my heart i think literally bleeding from hearing their pain not only for the good friends loss, but the painful memories now slapping them in the face... as i write this, i am crying not only for the loss of the good friend, but the pain of the memory of losing my dad and the feeling the pain of each of my children. But, as much as this hurts, and it does hurt, I also realize that I can't give up on my quest to lose weight...to be healthier... i don't want that to be me... i don't want to leave my 3 dear kids and the grandbaby that is on the way... i want that grandbaby and many more to know their grandma... and not as one that was overweight and sick...but one that was right there with them playing and dancing with them... not a grandma who gave up, but one that lived life to it's fullest until she passed away of old age... i am tired of my fat being my life.... i want more... my kids deserve more... and when i am gone, i don't want them to remember the fat woman... i don't want them to mourn for what could of been...i want them to see a woman that gave her all...
I'm hurting...my heart is twisted with so many different emotions...but this isn't going to bring me down...it's shoving me try harder.
This blog is dedicated to my dad-Joe and for a good friend-Jeff. RIP to both of you.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I finally figured out why I am so “full-figured”!
As I was conditioning my hair in the shower this morning, I took time
to read my shampoo bottle. I am in shock!
The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my entire body says
"for extra volume and body"! Seriously, why have I not noticed this before?
Tomorrow I am going to start using "Dawn" dish soap!
It says right on the bottle, "dissolves fat that is otherwise
difficult to remove". It pays to read the warning labels, my friends!
Thursday, May 05, 2011
I have to be tougher. At work we are in the midst of a lot of change. I don't do change well. In the past, no matter how good i was doing, change would send me right over the edge. So far I have been doing good. When I feel like caving, i go for a little walk. Well, today i did just that, came back from lunch and they had ordered pizza...PIZZA! I am so blessed to have friends where i work and the one was so good to remind me that weigh in is tomorrow! I got on SP and entered in a piece of the bread that came with the pizza and perfectly fine with that bread. I stuck to the small amount and was not even tempted by the pizza again... wohoo!!! go me. Yes, i am still watching though...i know this is a vulnerable time for me... so i am keeping alert of the foods around me so that i don't cave to temptation. i realize that life is ever changing, and i can't keep using that old excuse if i am to lose weight...
In my bible reading today, i was reading Psalms 37 and this is what i heard God telling me:
Psalms 37:1-Fret not.
We are not to fret because of evildoers for they shall soon be cut down like grass.
37:3-Trust in the Lord
we shalt be fed.
37:4-Delight thyself also in the Lord
He will give us our hearts desire.
37:5-Commit thy way unto the Lord
He shall bring it to pass.
37:7-Rest in the Lord
Sunday, May 01, 2011
I've been wanting to do this blog now for a couple weeks, but keep putting it off. Well, in a couple of my teams, Losing and Playing and Flylady Sparkers, we have a daily dare, and as the new month kicks off, I started the month by challenging the team to chose 1 small change they would like to do this month. SP teaches small changes, and i can attest to how it works... i knew this, but for years fought the practice...i wanted change and i wanted it NOW, only to go full steam ahead for, oh, about 1 day...lol. just to give up. well, last year was life changing for me...i had a simple surgery that ended up not being so simple. it took me quite some time to recover from, in fact, in many ways, i am still recovering...so the small changes was no longer a choice, but a way of living...and to be honest, i have had more success because of it. first of all, i got real with myself...stood in my own truth.... i looked at my numbers...my weight, my measurements, my BMI and even resting heart rate, oxygen level, blood pressure, glucose and cholesterol numbers. it may not seem like a big deal, but it was an eye opener...i realized just how overweight i really was, and though all my other numbers were actually pretty good, it wasn't because of what i was doing, that was for sure...so then i started tracking my food intake...not really watching, just tracking, to see what the real totals were...yea, i was shocked i had not had worse numbers on my health numbers...i started surrounding myself with healthy stuff, from healthier stuff to watch on tv, to what i was reading and yes, to what i was eating...i started making healthy food easier for me to get. i started collecting healthy recipes and once in a while, trying one...from there, it sky rocketed...i now actually prefer cooking than to going out.... i then started making more meals instead of buy out...and slowly adding more home cooked meals to out meals...i then started planning my meals, tracking them (before i eat it) and looking at my nutrition report at the end of the day...i then added exercise...starting slowly and moving up as i go...within that time, i have added my 8 glasses of water a day, taking vitamins daily and eating more fruits and vegetables... it's been a slow process, but with each change, i see a difference...and yes, as each change becomes a new habit, it's actually quite easy...not to say i don't still have my off days though...but they are easier to deal with...and i can get back to the right way of eating quicker because i know how darn good i am feeling by doing so and the weight is coming off...wohoo!!!
Other changes along the way-decluttering-i feel better, i can find things easier making it less likely to give up and don't have the stress of finding. I also take me time to read my bible, pray for everyone including ME.
When i started at SP, i weighed 310 lbs-that was a BMI of 60.5
In February, when I started getting real with myself again i was 275-BMI of 53.7
As of the end of April i weighed 260-BMI 50.8
I am still morbidly obese, BUT i am going down...i am getting there. i can see the numbers dropping, i can feel my clothes getting looser (and can actually fit into things i couldn't before) and i can feel my energy skyrocketing...
My goal for May is to prepare my meals for the next day so it's even easier for me to grab and go, making it less likely to cheat. I also want to get out of the 260's, which should be by next weigh in, but also blow the 250's out of the way.
Small changes work! What have been some of yours? What ones do you plan to implement this month?
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