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A Long Over Due Good Bye

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Have you ever said good bye to someone or something you love? it's never easy.. but there are times in our lives we have to close one door to open another... back in June of last year, i had decided to say good bye to my unhealthy self to open the door for a thinner healthier me... it's been an on going process...i find myself still entertaining the unhealthy ways... this year, i've made a pac with myself..i am saying good bye to half of me... it won't happen over fact... it will take more than this year to extract a half... but this is where it begins..right here..right now... and this is the letter to the half of me that is leaving... i hope to hear from all of you and read some of your good bye letters also...whether it is to a certain food, unhealthy life choice or the fat... let's say good bye here and now...hand it's good bye letter and move on with the divorce... this does not mean it will be easy... good bye never is... doesn't mean we will never fall backwards... divorce doesn't mean it disappears...but this is a way to finally come to terms with what we are doing and move forward to a better us :)

Dear Fat,
You have been with me for many years now...growing to a whole other fact i am now carrying 2 overweight people. I cannot continue this way. My mental and physical health are jeapordized and i just cannot take the pain any longer. I have hinted for you to just leave, i have given you the silent treatment, i have cried and i have gotten angry and even yelled at fact i have tried just about everything to get rid of you, and yet, you won't leave. So, i am removing you from my home and my temple. You are no longer allowed to stay here, and you will be removed ounce by ounce, pound by pound and inch by inch. I am no longer angry at you, i have been your biggest supporter after all, i have since learned from this and will no longer support your lifestyle and your painful past.

Good bye half of me and hello life.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNIX66 2/3/2008 9:30PM

    Nice going, I especially liked the part about not being angry and taking accountabilty for the enabling.....nice post.

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TINKAWAY 1/11/2008 6:35AM

    What an inspirational letter. I am very impressed and touched. You will have to look for my good-bye letter sometime this week. I have every confidence in the world you will reach your goals.

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HANYSDIANA 1/7/2008 1:01PM

    What a great idea! Here is my letter:

Dear unhealthy me,
I am just too fed up with you. I hate it when you make me, in my 20s, feel like I'm in my 50s or older. I hate the fat body you've given me, the way you make me pant after walking a small distance and the way you have decreased my flexibility. Therefore, I've decided to say goodbye. I'll change and make sure you leave for good.
New me

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UP4MORE 1/7/2008 12:01PM

    This was really very touching and I can so relate to it. Good luck on your goals in this new year!

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KHARLIE 1/6/2008 7:56PM

    Thanks for the welcome on my sparkpage....Have to say I love this letter....totally rocks! Let's make 2008 a HEALTHY, happy year!

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JOYCEANN1955 1/6/2008 7:44PM

    What a wonderful letter...{{{{hugs}}}}! I pray that some day I will be able to write the same letter..Joyce

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SAYRAH-M 1/6/2008 6:37PM

your good bye letter made me cry!!! It is beautiful. I too will write a good bye letter inspired by you. Look for it on my blog this week. I am so inspired by you. Love ya too!!

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PAIGEOMA 1/6/2008 5:49PM

    Hi Jodee,
I love the idea of saying good bye to my fat. I am thinking of what I will write to my ugly fat as I write you. I agree with everything you have said , you are a wise person to know what is needed to help motivate you into not going back on you goal. I applaud you and your insightful way of making your life a better one.

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BLONDEGIRL10 1/6/2008 5:47PM

    Saying Goodbye is hard and painful. Embrace and welcome the new Jodee, she is you only better and healthier. I wish you strength! -Gabrielle

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KCPREVATTE 1/6/2008 4:49PM

    Awww, what a great blog entry! You write beautifully.

Good luck in your efforts.

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A Friends Grief

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

I don't even know where to begin. I sit here, after talking once again with a friend. I've talked to her a couple times today, and each time she sounds... i don't know...wore out.... though i know it's all part of the grieving process she is now going through. The shock is wearing off and reality is hitting. During this time she has 2 small children she has to help get through this also. A couple years ago, she was in love, had 2 beautiful babies with this man. A man who chose drugs over anything else. She left him, knowing that where it was leading was no good. It wasn't easy for her to do, but she had 2 wonderful girls to take care of now. She worked hard, very rarely seeing any child support, to raise these precious girls... the youngest is now 4...the oldest just 5... a couple months ago, the 5 yearold woke up several times...every night for a couple weeks... with nightmares that her daddy was shot to death.... being of such a young age, it wasn't anything she could of watched.... they don't have cable and the mom kept very good tabs on what they watched.... i remember my friend asking me then... what do i do if it comes true.... we both knew the life that the dad was leading could very well end just how the girl had dreamed.... and as of January 1st, 2008, did.... just as there were no words then to as what to say...there are no words now... all my friend can really say now is all this was for is $300 worth of pot and a pair of tennis shoes. in another life, i would of thought, well, he chose the life he led, and knew the dangers. if i knew of him not as the man my friend once loved, or the man that was a father to 2 so very precious little girls... i would of said he was worthless even.... but i do know that woman that loved him...i do know those 2 little girls... i do know that though he may of not paid child support or did as he should of for them... he was someones love...he was someones dad... he is also someones son.... the mother a dear loving woman... and someones brother... to siblings that stuck beside him through it all... and friends that will miss him so. He left this world on New Years the age of 32...shot by a boy of 18.... 2 still very young lives...along with another homocide victim.... also very young.... 3 lives...2 that are no more...and 1, so young...with a lifetime of jail ahead of him... don't get me wrong..i do believe in justice...but i think of the boy that was before he turned to drugs... and the mother that loves him.... does he have kids yet? what about siblings? 3 lives... and yet..these are not the only "victims" in a world of drugs.... they leave so many more lives.... innocent lives... lives that didn't have any part of the drug scene... yet... are still paying the price. Will pay that price the rest of their lives....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KYLIEMC8 1/6/2008 12:19PM

    I am so sorry for your friend! I understand the worries of family and friends being involved in drugs. My son WAS one of them. Always hiding away from a door in fear of being shot. His friend was shot while at a party, opened the door to let 'friends' in unknowing..thankfully only in the arm. My friend son was stabbed over 11 times at a party for the very same reasons..he is only 19 was 17 at the is strange for those who participate in the drug scene and sadly it ends for some who were just bystanders.. I hope your friend heals quickly and remembers she is #1 and needs to take care of her for those two little ones, because if she doesn't who will? Kylie

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SAYRAH-M 1/5/2008 5:52PM

    I am so sad for you and your friend and children. It is so difficult to live without a father in your life, but one who is dead will never be in your life.
How lucky your friend is to have you in her life. Please know we are here for you as well!! Group hug

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    Kitty being there for your friend is the best thing you can do. If she needs a shoulder to cry on give her yours, if she needs someone to talk to be the listener. She will also need someone who is not going to be shocked when she find something funny in the midst of all her grief. Just be there for her no matter what.
I am prayong for all of you.

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NITAINMN 1/4/2008 9:33PM

    JoDee, I am soo sorry to read about your friend and her two little babies losing their loved one. The whole scenerio is of sadness and it's worse when it hits so close to home. You are such a caring and wonderful friend to have. I feel for all of you. Please let me know if there is anyting I can do to feel you better. In the mean time keeping all of you in my prayers and sending good thoughts your way. ~ Nita

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TO_REBOOT_CHAR 1/3/2008 2:51PM

    I am very sadden to hear of your friends loss. I canít speak for every one here at SP. But your friend and her children, and you are in my heart and prayers. Char

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HANYSDIANA 1/3/2008 4:26AM

    I am very sorry to hear this. I've always believed that there is noone that's purely evil in this world. If your friend is a believer, tell her to pray for him. The girls should pray, too. At a time like this, all his bad things should be forgotten and only the good stuff should be remembered. He was not murdered by the 18 year old. That was only a weapon. We all know he was killed by drugs. My heart goes out to you, your friend and her daughters. I'll keep you and him in my prayers.

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NM_JAN 1/3/2008 12:54AM

    At times like these, just be there for your friend... no questions asked, no need for words. Just knowing you are there for her and the girls will mean the world to her.

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NINTENDOGIRL 1/3/2008 12:41AM

    I'm sorry to read of this. The world is truly messed up in so many ways.
Try to be at peace and know you are doing the best you can for your friend. We are all lucky to have a friend like you. Take good care of yourself for that little family is going to need a lot from you over the next few... however longs.
Keep the faith.

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STARTSPARKING 1/3/2008 12:22AM

    Oh, what a tragedy... I'm so sorry for everyone involved...especially on New Year's Day. It's supposed to be a day of hope and renewal. Yet for everyone who ever loved these people, it was the beginning of a painful road ahead. My thoughts and prayers are with these lost souls' family and friends. May the daughters of this man have a brighter future than their father's. I have a few relatives who were also in drugs. A couple of them have turned their lives around, are holding decent jobs, got married, and have children. I hope they will continue to stay out of trouble. I have one more relative who is still behind bars. Hopefully he will choose a better life for himself when he's released. Kitty, thank you for being such a caring friend to so many here on SP and in your "real" life. *hugs*

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VELRENO 1/2/2008 11:44PM

    What a shame and what a tragedy. I really feel for your friend and her children at the loss of their father. It seems people would learn yet history constantly repeats the same type of tragedies over and over.

People often think, well, it's my life, and I can do what I want. But they need to think about all those who are affected by their choices. It is a lesson to us all to think of others and talk things over with many counsellors before we make decisions to do 'our' thing.

I am so sorry for the loss of these young men and the loss to their families. My prayers go up for them.

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SCRAPPYLOUISA 1/2/2008 10:13PM

    I'm sorry that your friend and her children are dealing with the tragedy of losing their loved one. I live with this fear each and every day as my younger sister has chosen the drugs over her family. Shirley

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DW3555 1/2/2008 9:11PM

    I understand your feelings, and feel them with you Kitty. Everybody is somebody to someone. I too am at a lose for words, as I do not know these people at all. I can assure you though, that my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone that this has touched .. and mostly to the precious children who have lost their father. Good ... bad ... whatever, he was their father.

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I'm Tired & Cranky

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

These 70 plus hours a week are killing me...i am sooo tired... i don't know if i can continue to keep it up...yet...i have no other choice at this point... 2 jobs are needed until child support kicks back in... i did talk to them today, and all they could say is that at the beginning of the year, i was over paid a "few" basically...up until this month, he was just getting by on that... if after this month, nothing is paid, then he will be officially behind.... so...i keep working and hope he don't quit this job... i'm having major health issues, and i know these extra hours are not helping matters... and i don't think at times my body will ever stop hurting...then.... i look at my kids... wonderful teenagers who don't cause trouble...and when asked to kick in and help, they do so... and they actually enjoy spending time with me... well... on my nights off and i'm not catching up with and that is what it is all about... them.... i then know i can go on... for just a little while longer...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAULINEAPPERLY 12/13/2007 9:49AM

    Try to stay stong Kitty. You are doing your best nd that is a lot more than your ex is doing. You have our moral support, as always.

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STARTSPARKING 12/12/2007 8:20PM

    I am so sorry that things are so tough for you. Hang in there, sweetie... You are such an inspiration to not just your kids, but all of us here on SP. You work so hard in making others' lives better. I am truly thankful that our paths have crossed.

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My Day Of Rest

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Well, for the most part, it was only me and my oldest daughter. Her meds make her pretty goofy, so it was mainly just me. I did get laundry done and all the dishes. But besides for that, took it easy and relaxed :) Tomorrow i will get the rest of my work done and get ready for the week ahead.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALMOND4ME 9/30/2007 5:17PM

    Sometimes ya just gotta veg. Good, you'll start the week recharged!

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    Try to do something enjoyable for your self . I know when you are working all week weekend is a time to catch up on chores etc. but you do deserve alittlle time for your self.

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MOMMABHEALTHY 9/30/2007 9:28AM

    Saturday was supposed to be laundry day for me--it started out that way with a load in the washer. Then...

I went for a 5 mile walk and shopped a garage sale
Arrived home to find hubby working in flower beds and had to join in
Fell asleep in chair in sun room & took 2 1/2 hour nap
Made a recipe of chow-chow to enjoy over the winter
Gathered peppers from the garden and pickled 9 jars of peppers
Cooked dinner and visited with new next door neighbors

Moved clothes from washer to dryer this am afraid of mold/mildew) and will fold & put away tomorrow when I finish rest of laundry.

I had big plans for yesterday. They'll hold til Monday too. There's always tomorrow.



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STARTSPARKING 9/29/2007 10:58PM

    Today was laundry day for me, too! :-) Glad to hear that you got some rest today.

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The Weekend If Finally Here

Friday, September 28, 2007

And i'm ready for course it's almost midnight and i've been up since 4:25am...*yawn*

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STARTSPARKING 9/29/2007 7:28PM

    I hope you're getting some much needed rest. Please take care, and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

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CKNTRUTH 9/29/2007 12:39AM

    not quite midnight here but i am about to hit the hay myself. Sweet dreams!!

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