Sunday, June 21, 2009
a couple years ago, i lost my father suddenly...but not suddenly...unexpectedly yet...not.... see...my father had a heart attack the day i turned 13. He was told then that he had very little time to live and to say his good bye's. Because of my mom's tenacity and God's wonderful love, they did a triple bypass that they swore would only kill him quicker... about 10-12 yrs later, he was again told that he only had days to live and to say his good bye's... and again with my mom's tenacity and God's wonderful love, he got to meet 4 more grandbabies (i had already had the first 2 and was pregnant with my 3rd and my brother was expecting his first of 3). at that point, he had a quadruple bypass. So when he had his massive heart attack on March 10th, 2005-it was something we knew was coming....yet.... one never really expects their last good bye's to actually be their last.
As daddy's little girl, i really could do no wrong...and if i did...refer back to the other half of this...lol... yea...we had our rough times...on my 13th birthday, we had gotten into a huge argument.... i was a teenager after all...and yea, i thought i knew it all...he had been sober for 6 months, yet i still judged him as if he was still drinking.... needless to say, i just knew it was my fault he had a heart attack....it wasn't...he was actually having one before we got into our argument which was why his temper was extra short with his baby girl that day... but it years of convincing... uhg... and i wish i could say i was a perfect daughter after that....i mean, knowing your father could pass away at any time...right?? but we never really think it will happen, even when we know...the day he passed away, him and mom had a special morning and talk of the future and all lovey dovey.... which really wasn't all that unusual, but just seemed more special that morning....dad and i got some time to talk and enjoyed a cup of coffee together....he even got to eat lunch with my brother that day... in all respects, it was a very special day...and none of expected when each of us, at different times, said good bye. Never thinking it would be our last.... we were very fortunate.... we had 25 more years with him than any doctor said we would have.... that day was very special because we did get extra time with him....as if he knew.... to settle anything from the past, to say our i'm sorry's and to say i love you.
This morning, i got up earlier than the normal sunday wake up call, so i could spend some time alone with my thoughts...and if you will, have coffee with my father... yea... the tears flowed...as they are now... and yea, i know he would chastise me for it (he never liked to see his baby girl upset, he thought he should be able to fix it all...lol) i thanked God and dad not only having a wonderful dad, but the extra time we got with him.... the special time we had even on the day of his passing....to say i loved him and missed him but yes, i knew he was still near.... and in each child, there is a special part of him. and though i do miss him, i am also at peace today....i know he is in a better place....no pain, and lots of rest...and that...for all he had done for his family....he deserves.
Dad...i do miss you.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
I get up this morning with all these things i wanted to get done...yet...so little time... so i said good morning to my teams....my day truly does not start until i have had my coffee with my spark friends....then weighed in...wohoo!!!! 2 lbs gone...i then read my bible and did my exercises...which i usually don't do on saturday...but i was just feeling too darn good about the 2 lb loss that i wanted to throw in a couple extra minutes :) it's funny...i really had my doubts when spark upped my calorie intake....yet...it worked... i just measured myself, and i have lost 1/2 in off my neck, 2 off my waist and 5 off my hips...wohoo!!! anyways... sorry, got off track...lol.... so after i exercised, i realized i still had to make a bomb...not only a bomb.. but The Bomb.... and before anyone calls the police or the FBI..i'm talking about this recipe: recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detai
l.asp?recipe=670030 gee...what were you thinking?? i haven't worked THAT much....tehe. anyways...i go to make it and realize i had not gotten out the whipped cream from the freezer... so take it out and pray that it defrosts at record speed....i was making this for our sunday school picnic...which i had to meet my mother for in 2 hours.... so i go get my make up done and hair brushed... during this time, girls wake up, ex shows up to get ds and getting the bomb ready...made 2 recipes...one for here and one for there... girls and i met mom at her house and then we stopped by store to get buns...then off to the picnic...it was nearly a wash out...but we survived....and had a good time just talking with the others.... i'm the youngest of the group...and really...i shouldn't even be in this class...this class is for the 60 plus women who's husbands are gone or just don't come to church...but i've always felt more comfortable in this class..and these woman have accepted me into their fold without question or judgement.... i love each and everyone of them and love just listening to their stories...over half of them are double my age...and i get a kick out of listening to how it use to be... girls and i then return home to clean... well...ok...not alot of that got done...i was pretty much in lazy mode by then.... ate too much at picnic...the down side of all these wonderful women is they know how to cook...lol... the good old fashion made from scratch food....oh yum....after drinking lots of water and watching tv with girls, i did manage to get some dishes done, fold 4 baskets worth of clothes and then swept kitchen up. now...i'm just ready for bed...good night
Monday, June 15, 2009
I said last week that doing split shifts was over for a very long time...boy...a weekend sure just doesn't seem like a long time...much less a very long time...uhg...but...the good news is, that the other office girl is going to cover Tuesday & Wednesday night...so that helps...alot... so on my mini break from work, i ran to walmart for some really good prices on fresh produce... $3.50 for a watermelon...wohoo!!! then ran to bank, and home for some computer time before going back into work... hopefully, with it being Monday, it will be a short night.... hey...a girl can hope...lol...
Friday, June 12, 2009
To say this week has been rough...would be an understatement. Anyone who reads my blog, or even just my good mornings in my teams, knows this. But on the up side...i have also made sure to laugh through it all...of course...i think it's just cause at this point, i am getting slap happy... lol. The other day at work, a driver asked me where i would like for him to put his paperwork...at this point in the night...i really was not in the mood for that kind of open question...and told him that he might want to not ask me this or i might just really tell him... so last night he comes in and tells me he is putting the paper work over there cause he was too scared to ask me where i wanted it...lol... luckily he could laugh at my crankiness. Then, work was like...omg...hot...my boss is always cold, no matter what...and thinks that everyone should feel this way...i on the other hand, am total opposite... so i told him, the temp gets turned down...NOW!!! he said no, he didn't want to see his breath...i told him that if i had to work this shift, along with my own mind you, i wasn't going to sweat through it. he said he was cold so it was staying up...i said fine, but i would probably pass out from the heat...in which we both get into a fit of giggles, i could imagine him saying, and told him this, that i still had work to do and didn't have time to pass out...he said he would be making someone get my time badge and clock me out...since i wouldn't be working and all...lol...we were still giggling about that today.
luckily, tonight should be the last time i do this for a very long time...and i am soooo looking forward to getting some real sleep...i knew i was tired yesterday, when i was coming home from 1st shift and it was too bright out to see well...and...uh...it was rainy and overcast do you know how silly i looked with sun glasses on?? lol...
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Neeta & MissBear...i apologize now for my disobedience...believe me...it's not by choice....
For all those that are wondering what the heck...lol... This week has been one heck of a week for sleep...Sunday night the apartment was too hot for sleep...by the time it cooled down enough, and my body was tired enough...it was already 10:30pm...and i get up at 3:30am...so Monday night...i'm ready...i get to bed on time...except the landlord decides at 8pm, that it's a good time to mow the lawn...and weed wack...which he never does?! by the time he is done and i'm ready to doze off again...girls (dd2 and dn) see a spider...and scream... for a good 15 minutes...needless to say...it was 11:30pm before i got to sleep...tuesday night... take girls to lake for a picnic dinner and a walk...that, after going grocery shopping after work..then some other errands and didn't get home until well after bedtime...and by now, my body is all messed up and can't sleep...but at least a little more than the other couple nights....thankfully...cause here comes wednesday... where i learn i will be doing a split shift...and didn't even get off work until 10:30pm...luckily i was so tired at this point, i was asleep at 11:30...today...tired...and cranky... and we get the call... the night girl won't be in...at this point, i am about in tears...i can't do it... and say so... we do come to an agreement...i come in for just a couple hours and do the main part, and the supervisor finishes up...i don't see this working as well as boss says it will... but i have no choice... i did however, take a nap...so i am feeling a little friskier than i did this morning... and...tomorrow is friday...come saturday...nobody wake me up...i will be in vegetative mode for the day...lol.
You know...when i was younger...i could go weeks with little sleep...and still be my peppy self...uh...i'm not that young any more...and i just can't do it...that was more than apparent this morning when the only exercise i got was me staring at my exer-bike and thinking "oh heck no" lol.
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