Sunday, June 01, 2008
I present a daily challenge to 3 of the teams i am co-lead. The challenge for today was to make a list... a list of why you are doing this...why you wanted to lose weight and fit...why you are here.
Many know the short story version of my life... i am a divorced mom of 3 wonderful teenagers, i lost my dad 3 years ago and i am overweight. Will tell more next week, when i come upon my first year anniversary with SP...for now....let's get to the why i am here and why i want to lose weight. First and foremost...i am overweight...obese in fact... it's right on the brink of not just wanting to, but having to. I want to look good again, i want to have energy again, i want me back..or more accurately, a better me. i want to look HOT!!! when i go to the store and find the cutest skirt, shirt or dress..i want to be able to find one that fits me...in a normal size... and not just wish they had it also in XXX...that is for ME...for my children, i want to be there for them when they give me grandbabies...i want to be out there doing with them what i do with my own children... and even more...that is for THEM. i want to be able to keep up with my mom...that is for HER...For everyone else...i want them to know they can do it also...they can live life fully, not only after they lose weight, but during... i want us all to learn to love ourselves fully and without condition...cause it's only then we can accept the need to lose the weight and get fit...get healthy... it is then that it will all click into place. I want others to see, that yes, it may be tough at times...and oh boy, is it..but that WE can and we WILL do it. and along the way...share a little bit of tears...some frustrations...and a whole lot of laughter...
Friday, May 30, 2008
It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as a lamb.
- Roman proverb
Are you a lion or a lamb?
How will your life be remembered? Will your story be lost among the millions who were afraid to take a chance? Or will you leave something noble behind? There's nothing to gain by following the crowd or doing what you've always done. You may as well put yourself out to pasture. But there's everything to gain by believing that you're king or queen of the jungle, even if just for a day. (Go ahead and roar if you want to.) Each of us has an amazing opportunity to live large if we allow it. It takes leaving the comfort of our familiar meadows and walking into the unknown. Once you take that chance, you've made your days worthwhile. Even if you have few resources, adventure is around every corner, and life is waiting to be devoured. If you were to write the book of your life, would you want to read it?
*This one hit home for me today...see..i grew up in a family of lions... but they taught me to be the lamb... as a fragile child... i was encouraged to never be too active...never take risks... although...i will say...we have had some of our best times when i was the lion...i don't even have to raise my voice like my family to get my point across...lol... anyways..back on track here... the fact is.. i was often sheltered...or at least...they tried their best...i was also a rebel... and heck bent on doing things my way.... when i became a mother, and especially having a fragile child of my own....i totally understood why i was so protected and sheltered... i wanted to do the same for my little one...but...she may of looked like her fathers family...but boy oh boy...does she have her mothers side of the personality trait...lol...and i saw early on that if i didn't allow her some breathing room to live, to make mistakes, to be all she could be..she was going to react pretty much the same way i had... so this lion in sheeps clothing had to not only learn to go for it in a healthy way...but teach it to my child... these past 16 years have been very interesting...to say the least...lol...as i look at all my children..it's funny to see what i have passed on to them...my son has definately got my humor.. though DD2, the fragile one..also has some of it... but she is more the lion...though never to be mistaken...she was never and probably will never be dressed in sheeps clothing..lol... and my oldest...looks like me..acts like me..and though i should be able to relate to her more..i don't...maybe cause she tries so hard to cover the fact she is so much like me...it eventually comes out... but she still tries to hide it...lol... this isn't to say everything has always been rosey and perfect...nor have i been a perfect mother... but the fact is...i did step out of the proverbial meadow.... and i think i have done well to teach my children to roar in their own unique ways... they have learned when given the opportunity, to pick something they haven't seen, done or heard of before... in teaching them this, they have taught me also how to take the lions way...the healthy and the safe way...
would i want to read a book about myself?? oh yea... and i would watch the movie version also...lol... even during our dull moments...it's anything but dull...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these. --Susan B. Anthony
As i was doing my daily postings, i came across this quote... and i had to laugh...and think... birthdays, graduations and weddings are great and wonderful things... but that is not what makes up life... life is the everyday stuff... if you read through my blogs, you will see what my life is made up of.. but there is sooo much more that i haven't had time to share.... the quote above brought a memory to mind about stray puppies... when i was younger, we had just lost a dog.... and my dad swore...NO MORE DOGS... of course he always said that...lol... my brother seen a poor stray on his way home from school... and in true brother fashion, he carried it home...though he always said the dogs followed him...lol... we snuck it up to his room..and took care of it for days without dad knowing... mom turned a blind eye... finally dad found out... we're not sure what happened within the next couple days..but this dog went from being a stray with no home to all of a sudden being the king... he would go to his bowl, look cute and wait for his food to be made....not just given to him..it had to be cooked... yes..cooked...my dad had this dog soooo spoiled rotten that we couldn't just give him a hot dog out of the refrigerator, it had to be cooked and cut up... if you have him a hamburger patty... it had to be cut up.... and fresh from the stove... that is what life is about... in an earlier blog you will remember a family lunch i had taken my kids to... my daughter left her purse in the restraurnt...my son went in to get it for her and came out running w/purse under his arm like a thief.... had us all cracking up...that is what life is about... one day we went out for chinese, one of the younger siblings said something funny, oldest was across from me and had just put a full mouth of rice in her mouth... and proceeded in spraying it all over ME!!! lol... that is what life is all about... by the way...i don't sit across from her anymore...and each sibling is aware they are responsible for what they get if they make her laugh while eating....lol.... my DD2 and i very rarely go though any lengths together without laughing...and not just a giggle laugh...full out laughing... and it only takes the simplest things to set us off... before long, we are into a full out belly hurting tears streaming down the face laughing... this is what makes life... yea... birthdays, weddings and graduations are great... and should be celebrated for the milestones they are...but...it's not what life is all about...
Sunday, May 25, 2008
I've always known our family was...different...for a lack of a better term... and we have always leaned on the side of disfunctional...but....happily... and yesterday proved that point yet one more time.... DD2 and i decided to go out for lunch and an ice cream cone and then go grocery shopping... mind you, she is 16...so when the waitress asks if she would like a kids menu, mind you, the kids menu is for those 10 and under....lmao.... that set the tone for the day... now to really get the full effect, DD2 is bi-polar...and...a teenager... so at this point, i hold on and just wait for anything that might happen... with her i have learned to just wait it out and expect the unexpected and deal with it as it comes... lucky for me...she was having a good day... phew.... and she was able to laugh about it...of course, after watching her head bob while she said "excuse me, i am 16, thank you very much" handled in a typical teenage fashion...wohoo!!!! after spending hours at walmart, and getting all the groceries into the house, we then decide to go over to mom's...she wants to go to the cemetary...not something i was really up to...but something she wanted to do...so we are headed to mom's... and DD2 decides to set up my voice mail on my cell phone... i thought she was setting up hers... so she asks me for the password...i told her i didn't know, to call her fiance and ask him...she was like, oh...oooooooookkkkkk.... it was then i noticed she had my cell phone. i asked her if she was setting up mine, she says yea, i laugh, and tell her then i don't think her fiance is going to know my password...we get to giggling so bad, i had to almost pull off to the side of the road...but that was just the beginning... she then records it as if it was hers... uh..hello...i'm a single woman... if some hot guy wants to call me, is he really going to leave a message with a childs voice saying "hi, i can't answer the phone right now" so she tries again, saying "hey, this is my moms phone, she can't answer right now, but will call you back" except when she played it back for us to listen to, the call part cut out and it sounded like she was cursing....ok...it was at this point, i really did pull off to the side of the road to laugh... tears were running down both our cheeks.... so we get control and make it to moms.... she has stuff ready to go to the cemetary... one of them being a small raccoon figurine kinda thing... she hates that raccoon thing...and we all agree that it looks deranged... so i'm begging her not to put this on dads grave... why would she punish him like this... her reply...cause i can...uhg... i let it go at that point.... but as we are at the cemetary, she couldn't get it to stay upright...and i'm begging her...not to leave it... please... the raccoon obviosly did not want to be there...and poor dad.... it stayed.... so we walk around the cemetary, looking at the additions since we were last there.... dad is buried around some of the best...a mayor.... and a couple of our fallen hero's. we take a little time to not only remember dad...but those that have, even very recently, gave their lives for our country. it was an emotional packed visit...when dad first passed away, mom and i, and my kids, spent alot of time at the cemetary... since that time, we have healed somewhat...but nothing else has changed... we cry...we talk..and...the inevitable laugh comes out of no where.... and yes...last night was no different.... we noticed that a new gazibo had been built..so we venture in and take a seat... we talk....and then it happens..we start talking about weddings... my dear mother, who i am really starting to worry about now...lol.... says it would be a beautiful place for a wedding.. uh.. hello....we are in the middle of a cemetary...i mean... it was beautiful and all...but...a cemetary... my DD1 wants a redneck wedding...and mom thought this could be part of it... uh... not thinking this is exactly what she would want... and i'm trying to explain this to my dear mother... sweetly...nicely...and without showing too much of the worry that is creeping in about my dear mothers sanity....lol.... it was at this point she said it would be perfect to play the song "all my rowty friends are coming over tonight" i'm just looking at her, when my niece yawns...except i don't see her do this, and in the gazebo, it kinda echoed...spookily... and i about jump out of my skin... ok... maybe we should worry about my sanity....lol...at this point, all 5 of us about roll out of our seats laughing at me.... so we gather our bearings and walk back toward the van... my niece thought it would be funny to scare her mother...so as she was standing looking at someones grave, niece sneaks up, behind her, drops to her knees and grabs my sister in laws ankles...the point was to make it feel like someone was reaching out and grabbing her... what it did do was look extremely hilarious.... even to her mother...she just looks at her daughter and asked what the he!! she was doing.....at which point...we all break out into a fit of laughter again.... at this point, i could really hear my dad telling us in his most royal voice "can't you girls be a little more quiet, people are trying to rest here" we tell dad we love and miss him and gather back into the van... needless to say...we are all exhausted... we have walked...cleaned up the grave... cried...laughed.... all in the span of 30 minutes....it was emotional...but true to our happily disfunctional family... we made the best of it...
Happy Memorial Day to all those that have fought, and lived to tell about it, and to those that fought the good fight and left this earth way to early. This weekend, I remember what you fought for us to have. The freedom to mourn and to laugh.
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