Friday, August 15, 2014
I am starting a new job in November, and I am so excited and have worked so hard to get there, but...I am sad/anxious about not finding TurboKick classes yet. I do it twice a week and I have a blast but also I love how it makes me feel. I have really challenged myself to build up to using 1- and 2-lb hand weights throughout the workout, and doing the high-impact options (like power jacks and tuck jumps) and I don't want to lose that progress. I just love it so much. When I started in 2011 I actually cried out of frustration in the shower after a couple classes because I felt like I was completely lost and disoriented, I didn't get the moves so I couldn't keep up and I felt like I was getting nothing out of it. I feel like it has transformed me, not just physically but mentally as well, because I was able to deliberately stop my panic and frustration and take it slow, learning to do the moves properly and just accepting that for a while, it wasn't going to be a crazy cardio workout but that the time was well-spent because I'd be able to really do great once I had the basic moves down. That's exactly what happened, too. And I gave myself permission to screw up and keep going...so I kick with the wrong foot first, doesn't matter I am going to focus on the present instead of berating myself for my mistake. I have even learned to laugh at my missteps, which was something I never ever did before because I felt so ashamed and frustrated about my clumsiness. IE it wasn't funny because it was something really "bad" about me. And funny thing...almost as soon as I gave myself permission to mess up without punishing myself for it, I started "getting" the moves and the rhythm.
I guess I am anxious too about the unkown; everything here is very much a more or less comfortable routine, eg i know what time Turbo is and what I have to do to make it there, and that helps me feel grounded and ok.