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back to the gym , exhausted but HAPPY

Thursday, July 24, 2008

I made it back to the gym today got good workouts, spin, pilates , weight training with the seniors and rode my bike to and from. I am happy again at the gym and that is great. I came home had a big salad with tuna, avocado, blueberries, tomato, cucumber and hot itallian pepper, delicious. I have not been HAPPY in awhile so that makes me even more happy to know I am making progress out of my dumping exhaustion even though I am not at a good energy level I am feeling better.
I was at the grocery store getting tomatoes today and ran into Kathleen, she did not recognize me again (I think she may have some demential developing but who knows sometimes I look in the mirror and I look different to myself but since I do have brain damage in that part of my brain I always think it is my perception issues of my brain and not the way I look that has changed.
anyway Kathleen gave me 20$ when she learned I had not worked since April, I was embarrassed to take the money but she was insistant and said to me " LET ME HELP YOU, AND IF YOU NEED MORE JUST CALL ME " , Ron brought over 50$ for food money last night, and said " I know it isn't much but I hope it helps" I was shocked I thought it was too much, I am so grateful for my friends on so many levels.
Then at the gym today Peter one of the men who work in the fitness room told me he wants to take me out but is waiting to call me to do so until he gets his new car, LOL I told him I didn't care about his car, and he said " that is what Doug said , but this is not vanity it is safety I don't want to endanger your life when I take you out. "
So it seems like it is raining with friendship around me.
Off to take a nap. I am still tired, even though I am HAPPY!

  


exhausted , exhaustion continues

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I woke up a few times during the night, thinking " I AM SO EXHAUSTED" I woke up this morning feeling exhausted, am still feeling exhausted.My physical therapist says it is probably form the PT, that as my body relaxes and the pain decreases my body will experience a healing crisis and that this exhaustion very well could be that healing crisis. I am going to the doctor tommorrow just to make sure it isn't anything else.

  


quiet internal day

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Today was a day of rest. I stayed home and did talk to lisa , lesa, sue, Mark, Andy and Mary today. I didn't go out except to take out the garbage. I didn't work up an appetite today and my calories are sort of low and did not eat dinner , but had some watermelon. Tomorrow is a busy day and the start of my usual busy busy week of working out. Sue leaves for the Cape on Friday so she is trying to get some Mom time in with her kids and friends this week . I am starting to see some beliefs I have about money and that is the first step of letting go of those things . Hopefully in doing so I will be able to attract money and be able to prosper instead of just surving financially. I have abundance in every realm of my life except $ , so I need to attract that to my life.

  


still tired

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Today was busy and long, and very enjoyable. I woke up my neck hurt, I was exhausted and if I had not promised Sue I would go to the baby shower I would not have gone to the gym. I am glad I did 700 calories I would not have burned and fun I would not have had. That doesn't mean that it was WORK to do spin class , it was but I figured I might as well do it, because there was no way I was going to be able to do the elliptical or treadclimber, no way I would be able to distract myself by myself and spin class does distract me and I keep hanging in there and it is done. I don't know how the site figures out calories burned I have been wearing my heart monitorn for exercise and it calculates calories burned and with the 145 minutes of spin, circuit and riding my bike it was 700 calories only burned. I understand now one reason why I was not reducing my weight, I was going by the amount of calories spark was saying I burned or what the machine said I was burnign and that was not correct.
Who the heck knows as Sue said today " well most people get bigger each year as they get older , you are not getting bigger"
NO I AM NOT GETTING BIGGER. I am being healthy day by day , and lately I am TIRED.

  


exhaustion continues

Friday, July 18, 2008

I am so tired. I wake up after sleeping well, tired, but that is the most energetic itme of day for me so get to the gym work out even though my heart rate is low and I am burning low amounts of calories, only 700 calories burned with 178 minutes of exercise today. I look tired . But I am not the only one who is complaining of being tired , at the gym probably 1/3 of the people I speak to are also complaining of feeling exhausted. I don't feel ill just feel like I have been ran over by a freight train. I don't know if I would have the energy to see Scuba if he showed up at my door. I know I would love the challenge. LOL I took a nap this afternoon for 2 hours dreamed and everything and woke up exhausted. So I am just going with it. Was wanting chocolate this afternoon fed myslef watermelon instead. It may be sweet but it tastes nothing like chocolate.

  


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