Back to more pain but not freaking out

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I am having intense pain again, but I am not freaking out. I will be treated by Jimmy my Physical therapist on Monday and Wednesday of next week. I saw him yesterday and as soon as he touches my neck my entire body just relaxes into it, was very interensting to notice that. He said my cranial sacral balance was off he could feel it just touching my head, that my body is very upset ( I knew that ) , and that my pelvis is pulling my spine and neck out of place as well as my clavicle. I am tired and may not go to the gym today , have to go to rehab today to meet with the vocational rehab counselor. I have not done my homework and researched what I need to do . Oh well. I will be riding my bike to the meeting and back and stopping by Lisa's on the way home to shut her windows.
The not freaking out with the pain is definitely a new concept. Oh yeah I am down another pound! Yeah 193 today. The scale went as low as 189 and popped back up so that is hopeful since that is the weight i was at in November before the polyp I grew in my uterus and gained 20 pounds.
SEIZE THIS DAY!! LOL maybe I will take a nap.
LOL

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAGIC10FINGERS 6/26/2008 2:32PM

It's a good thing U can relax in2 the therapists techniques. That's a good sign for your body, it wants to let go. Our bodies are so complex & when 1 thing is out of wack, everything else can get out of wack. I hope your body finds an even balance some day. That's awesome the weight is coming back off again. Wish mine would. It's my own fault, I get close to the 150's & it's like I subconsciously sabotage myself. U are doing great, despite all your body puts U thru. U are quite the inspiration. many hugs, Ruth Report Inappropriate Comment

Feeling well!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I am feeling so very well, it is almost scary. I was the strongest I have been in a very long time yesterday on the spin bike and moved better in Yoga as well. I can do some things much easier in Yoga. I just read my last blog because Ruth commented on it and I thought wow that is a profound thought! I had forgotten I had written it. I get my bike today from the shop and I can't wait to ride it and be able to go further in the same amount of time and burn more calories in doing so!
Life is abundant and abounding with wonders and magic!
pj

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAGIC10FINGERS 6/18/2008 11:51AM

I love your upbeat attitude, it's very catchy! Very cool U have your bike back & with a basket! Hubby finally got his bike up & running so we can go 2gether, now my brakes are acting up again. They either hardly work @ all (& with all our hills, I HAVE to have good brakes) or they rub & the tire doesn't spin freely. As U would say, "Bother"! LOL! As I would say, "skippy". I'm so glad U are feeling better, I was quite worried about U there for a while. Happy riding! Hugs, Ruth Report Inappropriate Comment

The gift of reflection, and listening to myself.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

All kids are gifted; some just open their packages earlier than others.

-Michael Carr


Yesterday I had a myofascial release session with a PT in PSL. Instead of he telling me to ignore my body he told me to pay attention to what was going on in my body as he helped me 'unwind' the trauma that has occured in it. He reminded me to heal means to intergrate what has happened to our bodies, to us rather than dissociate from it. I left there feeling very HAPPY and relaxed , too bad it took so long to get home via the bus and then walking home 2 1/2 miles from the bus stop. BUT AS I WROTE THAT "too bad it took so long to get home ..." I thought AH HA! Like Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ as she clicked her Ruby Slippers and said " there is no place like home" over and over again, there is no place like home, home is within us at all times, we just have to remind ourselves we are 'HOME" and 'SAFE" and everything we need is "RIGHT HERE" not 'OUT THERE" in something I have to consume or get or need from anyone or anything else.
AH HA! I remember. Big Smile.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAGIC10FINGERS 6/18/2008 1:01AM

Myofascial release is such a great experience. I'm so glad U were able to benefit from it. Very insightful blog entry. Many hugs, Ruth Report Inappropriate Comment

quiet sad weekend

Monday, May 26, 2008

It has been a long quiet weekend for me. No exercise have been exhausted and not feeling well. Will be back at the gym tomorrow for my spin class and have my 6h PT session tomorrow at 1pm. I have permission to start back to yoga so if I am up to it will go to yoga class at 6:30pm tomorrow.
My student Krystyna called today to tell me she has advanced breast cancer and has to have a radical mastectomy. I am very sad to say the least. Hard to write when I feel so much overwhelming sadness. I have not eaten well today not lots of junk but not enough calories or enough of everything am just not feeling well and only seem to want to eat fruit.

  

Living in the moment, even when that moment is PAINFUL

Friday, May 09, 2008

We're always getting ready to live, but never living.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer

Well I have bulging discs and bone spurs in my neck according to the nurse who called yesterday from my doctor's office with the MRI reports. The pain has benn intense the last couple of days after flaring myself back up trying to do chest presses the other day. I did not go to the gym yesterday will not go today. I have to go to PSL to the doctors office to get a game plan on how we are going to treat this.
I saw Bob last night and he observed how I was moving , like I was in a lot of pain which I am. I was also tremoring and that scares him, I seem to do that in the evenings out of my nervous system just being overwhlemed with too much stimulous. We both are feeling sad that we will be saying farewell in a week when he returns to Buffalo. I will miss him.
I will get a little of cardio today walking from the bus stop home about 2 1//2 miles. I hope to get applications finished today and turn them in today as well.
What pain has taught me is to live fully in each moment even when that moment is PAINFUL, because the next moment may or may not be painful but if I wait for the pain to subside I would have missed the opportunity to live!