PJH2028   18,640
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PJH2028's Recent Blog Entries

day 2

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

pilates mat class at new health club. though i'm not sure what is 'pilates' about it. no props. hard to hear teacher. i was the biggest gal there. perhaps the worst dressed. not sure about that. day 2 of 'good sparky eating and tracking' in my range. woohoo i have 'issues' with how i look, not knowing how i look, being 'cheap' and in the habit of 'not caring' what i put on my body as long as it fits -- not fitting into things i maybe would like … not knowing what i like… a chain reaction. It's a bigger conversation…for another day.
Anyway… I'm proud of myself for finding the grace in my movements as a way to move away from the negative impact of other mirror perceptions. AND.. i was outgoing with two people. Yep. really. No expectations. But … wanting to acknowledge. Not sure how often I plan on blogging here. Getting back in the habit of being online here daily. Tis a good thing. Feeling Grateful. g'nite all. cu tamari

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IONA72 1/18/2014 10:49AM

    One day at a time....bring on day 3! Good luck on the journey emoticon

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FITMARY 1/17/2014 5:56AM

    Hang in there with Pilates. It will be worth it in the end! It really helps strengthen all those forgotten muscles....

Comment edited on: 1/17/2014 5:56:49 AM

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CHOCOHIPPO 1/15/2014 11:44AM

    How wonderful. Best attitude ever! I'm sure the people in your class thought you were lovely and were cheering you on!!!!! You go girl!

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Check in 1/13/14

Monday, January 13, 2014

Monday morning. CVAC at dawn/sunrise. Need new running shoes. Take care of feet. Take care of me. LOVE the idea of checking in weekly. I can do this. Need community. Spark Friends and local. One day at a time.

"The only thing that makes sense is to focus your efforts on solutions. Have faith that you can improve the situation. Get clear about what you'd like to create and take action".

Yes. I am here.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TECH1960PS 1/15/2014 7:11AM

    emoticon emoticon

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CHOCOHIPPO 1/13/2014 7:11PM

    Wonderful! Enjoy your new running shoes and continue to take great care of yourself.

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BABY_GIRL69 1/13/2014 3:09PM

    Check ins are nice....

God bless,


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RITZIBROWN 1/13/2014 12:19PM

    So much expressed in a positive way. Glad taking care of yourself is in there!

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NHES220 1/13/2014 11:52AM

    Keeping up with good running shoes is important! You have to take care of your feet!

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SCOOTER4263 1/13/2014 11:30AM

    Very nice. Good work.

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JAZZYGF 1/13/2014 10:58AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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I am here. I know how to sign in every day. Right?

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Does it matter where I am?
Be at the center of my own breath and find out.

Do I want to stay in a couple?
Do I want to "start over" again again?
Be the actor at the center of my own life.
No passenger-ing.
Find out.

Keep food and weight where they need to be. In balance.
In balance.

Love, Me

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHOCOHIPPO 12/29/2013 9:09PM

    Whatever you choose, you will be fabulous!

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BEAUTY_WITHIN 12/29/2013 2:00AM

    You can do it! :)

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SANDISOCAROLINA 12/28/2013 10:35PM

    emoticon Good to see you! Happy New Year! How are you doing?

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Am I Taking Care of My Self ?

Sunday, November 24, 2013

"What are you doing to take care of yourself" asked my friend Paula this morning.
Bingo. That is the right question.

The way of wood in water…. carried by the stream…. is NOT taking care of my self.
Eating for comfort is not taking care of myself.
Care taking / people pleasing in order to have "connection" is not taking care of myself.

Healthy Boundaries IS the definition of Taking Care of My Self… and Others Too.

Having them. Setting them. Keeping them. Being Clear about them.

Meditating on this today.
More to come.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NONIE_C 12/14/2013 2:44AM

    I have been blown away at how setting boundaries - a concept that seems to suggest walls, enclosures, divides - has actually served to free me and enable me to be closer to people in ways that I couldn't before there were boundaries. How funny is that?

I wish you great success in the challenging endeavor of self-care.

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    Healthy boundaries....... emoticon body, mind, and spirit. emoticon

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SCOOTER4263 11/24/2013 4:18PM

    Ah, the tough questions. Revealing, though.

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CHOCOHIPPO 11/24/2013 3:47PM

    Wonderful questions, and very honest answers!

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CHRISTASP 11/24/2013 3:14PM

    Good questions. emoticon

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BABY_GIRL69 11/24/2013 3:04PM

    Kinda like something I heard in class this morning, we each need create our own mantas or creeds and stand by them.

God bless & keep warm....


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Help Me Please -- fear and remorse won't do anything good

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

I maintained for a YEAR! Up and down 4lbs or so but stayed 155 for a year. (after losing 80-90)
F O O D these past months. Really since I left my old apartment - my known home, the place where all my good habits were formed. I was more able to transport my good habits while sharing house with others...though snacking and traveling brought back bad habits.

Bad habits like?
Don't eat standing up!
Eat regular meals 3 plus a snack.
Drink Lots of Water.
Move your body regularly.
Eat socially.
Don't eat your feelings or for comfort.

Well... guys... As I reported recently... I gained 10lbs since coming back to Chicago -- sept 15 154 to 164 again today.

I've had a couple of "good food days" but then a big dinner, or late night eating, or alcohol that cancelled those out. (WE ALL KNOW THIS ROUTINE!!!) crap. oh. Oohhhhhhh.

Do differently if I want different results.
Right. Right. Yeessss. That's right.

So-- What did I do?
I spent the last half hour -- weighing myself... looking for a bold place to put the scale where I'll see it????? more??? Is that right? Rearranging the kitchen.... puting a motivation talisman on the fridge.

What can I do? How about a NEW MOTIVATION BOARD? Or bring out the old ones?
Maybe a new one is needed?

I want my thinner body. I want to explore it. I like the way it feels.

Any friends and support welcome. I'm a lot alone here htese days. I have a lot of lost feelings and want comfort. I will look for it not in food.

DOWNWARD in the good ways?

I love you all.

10/25/12 155
10/29/12 156
11/29/12 148.2 LOW
12/20/12 153
12/30/12 155.2
1/4/13 154.8
1/11/13 156
1/13/13 154.8
1/31/13 155.4
2/18/13 155
2/28/13 153.8
3/19/13 155 maintain
3/25/13 153.8
3/26/13 157.4
4/2/13 159.2
4/5/13 158
4/7/13 157.2
4/11/13 156.8
4/22/13 154 maintain
4/27/13 152
10/13/13 162 GAIN Summer 150-160 down then up
10/16/13 160.6 CHICAGO 153-164 UP UP UP
10/23/13 164


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRISTASP 10/25/2013 6:29AM

    PS I just read the book '100 days of weight loss' by Linda Spangle and enjoyed it so much that I took over a flailing team based on the book. I re-organised it and a group of us is now using the book and the team to work on healthy habits and/or weight loss for 100 days. And having fun. If you like you're very welcome to join. The book offers daily motivational texts and assignments most of which you can do regardless of what diet or method you use.
The team is here: http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/

Comment edited on: 10/25/2013 6:33:02 AM

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CHRISTASP 10/25/2013 6:27AM

    Ijust added you as a friend. Indeed remorse and guilt don't help. So remind yourself of how far you've come! Wow, you really have great accomplishments to be proud of.

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FITMARY 10/24/2013 6:10AM

    It can be frustrating, but the fact that you are here, posting, is a great sign! And IMHO every fresh start is a good thing because it means new energy and new commitment. So, just keeping putting one foot in front of the other.... Step by step, 10 minutes at a time, that's how we get there.

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KT-NICHOLS-13 10/23/2013 3:00PM

    Aw Sweetie ... breath and find your inner peace, your strength.
Let go of the negative ... search out the positive.
Feel the emotion.
Eat for fuel.
Find your happy.
Relax ... maybe with a hot cup of tea.

I'm there with you ... in spirit and on that sliding scale. Up, down, up, up, down ... it's madness and it's uncomfortable. Yet ... we manage to make it to another day, another minute.

Find a release ... a physical release that will allow you to let go. Cry? Scream? Dance? Something ... to just let go.

We're here ... with you!

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SANDISOCAROLINA 10/23/2013 11:33AM

    Paula you have inspired ME so now it is time for you to relax and know you got this. Breaaaaaathe........(easy to say) reward yourself with a professional massage...expensive but take it out of food/drink money! Sometimes there are specials or couponsor a school with student rates....will help you relax and get in touch with your body....let go. (siiiiiiiigh) I am SO proud of you for all you have accomplished....hold your head up high. emoticon emoticon

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