PJH2028   18,640
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184/8 and pivoting toward year 2 - JULY 2011

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Wow. Almost a year. Just a week shy of a year of Sparking.
I had a slacky sort of last few weeks.
I've been a little loose with tracking. Accurate, but the choices I've made can stand improving. I can and think I will re-consider the whole "calorie cycling" thing more deliberately.
In fact, being more deliberate is what I feel I need.
I can hone my skills a bit. Perhaps raise my expectations/targets for cardio, and separate out strength training in a different way. Or not.
This I'll determine this week.
Sparkiversary July 15th
53rd birthday July 26th

Ahhh. July. Where did ye go?
Stitches out tomorrow. No more alibi for laying back.
Drivers License Renewal still to do.

Gosh darn DEADLINES. Hate them. Always have. Deep Breath. OM.....
It'll be fine.

and then I'm gonna Rock this thing!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOGOMAMA 7/12/2011 10:56PM

    Wow! Congratulations on your upcoming year of sparking!!! And what a way to bring in a new year - healthier, stronger, and as always beautiful! Hope you are healing well! Blessings and hurrah's as you plan your next year of sparking!

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Tuesday, July 05, 2011

It's AAD - Ass Awareness Day (haa hhaaa ) I enjoyed inventing this acronym while dancing around with Joe at the Launderette this early a.m.

So...is it smaller? It's shrinking every day, he says to me. He's such a good sport, and such a big supporter of me. This is the first time in my life I've had so much loving support on a daily basis -- in general, and particularly for the Self image and transformation/dieting and exercise/ goals:results. He doesn't get up in my business - it's all mine. And yet he sees me and I think I must feel him rooting for me every day. THE WAY I FEEL YOU GUYS, dear Sparkies....
(but a man, and my man, and under-foot and in my space and sometimes in my arms... every day).

Funny... I think I'm more aware of this these days. Relationship duration (I've broken my personal record for enduring happy commitment) - amazing. Could it be getting better? It may beee. Are there difficulties? Of course! (i laugh). But mostly... IT'S GOOD.

Are things wrong? Some things could stand improving in my life.
And I DON"T mean my Ass! (for a change)

Of course, in 50 plus years I got past the size of my own ass to appreciate my Self and to accomplish and be so much more than a number, a size, a name, a label, an occupation, etc etc etc. etc. etc.

I get back to the headline.
It's AAD - and the awareness is more to do with how it feels than how it looks.
It's AAD -- and indeed it is so because of how much more vertical as opposed to horizontal I feel today (I do mean this in the wide/heavy sense but also in the jungian spiritual sense -- an integration thing).

It's AAD (not ADD) and I'm celebrating my inner-ass ?

I think that maybe the new Crocs flip flops I bought actually DO work the legs and but when I walk. THAT's HILARIOUS. But true. Like walking on a half ball.

It is Ass Awareness Day. And I am reminded of how far I've come in this, almost a, year. (Spark anniversary this week or next - Birthday end of the month). *I should blog that separately; okay, I will.

AAD, And I am ready to move mine... more in the coming months. I'm more able and I am ready to learn another notch of fitness and play. Yes "play". I see other people doin' it. PLAY-ing. I wanna. I wanna feel that way about it. I never have. But that don't mean I never will ;-)

So PARTY ON into the week.
Treat yourself to a whole lot of cool clear H20
Treat yourself to a whole lot of locally grown colorful plants (at every plate, at every meal)
Treat yourself to a raised heart rate and the endorphins on the cool-down
Treat yourself to a pedicure
Treat yourself to optimism and friendship
Treat yourself to ....


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOGOMAMA 7/12/2011 11:00PM

    I'm sorry I missed this blog!! I love it!! Celebrate your every asset my friend!!! I think it's wonderful that you have a supportive guy and that you both enjoy your time together!! I feel the same way about my guy! I love feeling thinner too and dancing around!

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PANBOOKS 7/6/2011 10:58PM

    Although I am a little late celebrating AAD, I will get this party started right away emoticon Thank you!!!

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Checking All In

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

June 15, 2011
Didn't weigh in today. Am I still in the 180's (189 May 30, after stepdaughter's wedding). ????
Where have I been for a month? Trips. Anticipations. Foot injury. Excuses and explanations for why I haven't been "all in" this month. Well... today marks the end of that, I say.

June 15th and I re-did a few photos on my Spark Page. And I'm blogging to mark the spot.

Joe and I have been arguing a lot more than usual. Usual for us doesn't include arguing -- our friendship generally and specifically has good quarreling listening and coalescing skills in it. Is it the post-wedding shoe-drop? Maybe. That's predictable, right. Does it have any impact on my relation to my own Time and Energy? yes, maybe. but, NO, not really.

This is about ME.

Foot injury still sucks. And I'm shy to jump on cardio equipment with the zeal of past months 4x week for 45min-1hr+. New shoes. Newly assessed weakness in VMO (vastus medialis) which is related to excess tork and weight on left leg and foot, as well as explaining some loss of coordination on left.. Here's a photo of the muscles:

There are straight forward exercises to strengthen this. ANd THAT"S EXCITING!! Cuz that means CHANGE is not only Possible, but indeed LIKELY. Good Change.

And I am GRATEFUL. So grateful to still have trainers Tim and Jenny in my life -- my mom insisted on gifting me two more months of PT. So awesome, amazing, generous. Wow.

I'm a LUCKY LUCKY lady. On so many levels.
And so... it's up to me to practice emanating that gratitude and happiness more smoothly throughout my days and nights.

Call it Woody Allen syndrome. Or some other kind of analytical/over-self-aware/over-thinking/o
cdesqe/prone-to-negativity .... but it's true that I'm that way and it's true that it is not serving me.

A SMALLER WORLD is often what, I think to myself, is behind addictions and resolutions. Does dieting makes the world smaller? Or does it simply define space and goals?
Exercise plans make specific structured time and benchmarks for appreciation -- I don't think it narrows the world of my possibilities.

I need and want to ADD MORE LIFE TO MY LIFE
More connections
More interests that I act upon

And so it is
that I write this

To SPARK ONward and DOWNward ....

Summer Goals for FALL Appreciation

*175 # by the Fall
*Increased VMO strength
*Better/improved running stride in interval training
*Enjoy outdoor and indoor PLAY/Movement which is not catalogued as "exercise"
*Say "YES" more to invitations
*Calorie Range
*Weigh-in minimum 2x month, or maximum weekly

I love my self enough to say YES to this.

With Gratitude.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLFRISBEY 6/16/2011 5:41PM

    Awesome goals, you can do anything you set your mind to. You're a stong lady and I look forward to seeing great things from you :)

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 6/16/2011 7:35AM

    Love this. I like that you are living with intention. You will achieve whatever you set your mind to, for certain.

"A SMALLER WORLD is often what, I think to myself, is behind addictions and resolutions. Does dieting makes the world smaller? Or does it simply define space and goals?" I really like this...I will think on this question, because there is value in it.

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going going - gets hot (and the tough don't go there?)

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

I'm avoiding cop-out land. I've been tempted, but I'm not going there.

1) It's HOT. Too hot. (and the building i rent in has inadequate electricity so power surges hugely compromise what the little a/c unit is capable of) -- more diatribe on this available but i'm not going there.

2) I'm hobbled for the week by recouperating from shot in foot to remedy "capsulitis" -- (an inflammation of the ligament at the joint were toe 2 meets metatarsal... caused by new more intensive workouts, weight distribution or subluxations, or alignments, or.....) -- more diatribe on this available, but I'm not going there... either.

Or not again. Or not now.
Or.... Okay... WHY write this in a blog?

I've made some poor menu choices the past few days. And that feels NOT GOOD.
Working out helps keep my decisions and focus in a good place. Without my workouts (May trip to Athens, wedding stuff, and now week of injury recupe...) it is much more challenging for me.

That's a good thing. CUZ i can choose to stay reliant on workouts.
AND I'm going to have to become more flexible about when where what who how.

It's Too F'ing hot. When it's this hot I don't want to do ANYTHING. Malaise. Plaintiff. Whiney. Complainey. . . . . and I don't like that me very much.

When I don't like Me, things go south.
I can't afford, am unwilling, see no reason why I will allow some habit of entropy to grab hold.... just because it's "hot"!! ... gdi

Stuff is UP for me, in my psyche in my plans and plan-aversion.
I need:
New Shoes
A new workout plan that accomodates better foot care
A summer schedule that sets some goals for productivity - (deliberately vague here, hmmm)


These are the things which my "eating disorder" and SPARKTASTICness have taught me to WANT and TRUST.

So I AM gonna go THERE.

Will report back.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOGOMAMA 6/13/2011 12:28PM

    It sure stinks to have to battle certain drawbacks and challenges! I feel for you and know it makes the journey harder! But, I'm glad to see you are up for the challenge and are doing what you can in a tough situation! You are my hero!!! I hope your injury/inflamation will heal soon and you will be able to reach your awesome goals! Hugs and love!

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Just sayin'

Monday, May 23, 2011

1500-1700 calories a day. That's what I've been eating since i got back from Athens. Not bad, right? It's the high end of my range. And, as I've seen for months, my weight loss is slooowww even at the low end of my range. Yep, the updown/keepyourbodyguessing is, for me, the best way.
I think that this week's misgivings, for me, have to do with the 'snackin' and eating for no reason that is going on. On the other hand, my analytical mind is aware that I didn't exercise while away Or when I returned. I've had 2 workout days, and HILARIOUSLY to me I can see the against-thegrain, or, rather, the Going WITH and FOR the NEW GRAIN. REMEMBERING that I LIKE IT - exercise. I like the way I feel in my body when and after I exercise. I like what it does to remove my false-hunger (replaced by endorphins). Mmhmmm.

So- Just Sayin'...

When I got back from visiting my sister, I jumped on the scale and it said 193.
ARggghh and aghast i was admittedly crestfallen even as I hedged by telling myself that it could just be that day, the travel, ...etc.

So. I'm nervous about Weighing in on Wednesday this week. Because I promise HERE AND NOW that I will. That's my Spark Plan. And I'm STAYING ON THIS wonderfully rewarding path, no matter what the scale says. Onward and Downward!!!! Even if I've lost my 180s. Onward and Downward!

Wedding in Ann Arbor this weekend. Will Spark as I can. And will stay on the path, allowing for some social behavior indulgences, but NOT OVERBOARD!

I want this. To stay on this path.
bookmark for future conversation..... Summer Clothing. All mine is too big. And I don't feel like shopping. We'll see if i make room for that after this trip.

And to YOU (for anyone who stopped by to read this, Thank You)!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEENY_BIKINI 5/30/2011 12:02AM

    You are doing just fine. The journey is unpredictable but worth every second.

Rock this!!

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SINGAGAIN 5/24/2011 1:46PM

    Good wishes to you indeed!! I'm proud of you, and your attitude is awesome!! And here's to exercise that makes us feel to great! Why do we ever stop???? It's such a mystery to me. Love you! Keep up the good fight!! Hugs, Jodee

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PXIGRL 5/23/2011 7:30PM

  I completely understand the ups and downs, I was down in the 150's a few months back, then completely stopped caring... wanted to "enjoy life" so ate what I wanted, did what I wanted, and avoided the scale at all costs!! Now I'm in the 190's and it only took a few months... why isn't it just as easy to go back down to the 150's?? Oh Well... today is day one for me, and I'm ready to do this, for real this time, gonna get myself healthy and stay that way!!

Good Luck!!

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MAMADWARF 5/23/2011 10:37AM

    eh, the up and downs... this is life, right? But this is why spark works...because you can be on it, you can adjust for life,vacations, weddings, gains and losses. ALll you have to do is do what you gotta do. Not a problem. You got this. You know what you gotta do and you will do it, Im totally sure. Get to steppin'!

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BTINTERNET 5/23/2011 9:20AM

    *Hugs* You can do it!!!!

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