PJH2028   18,373
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Just sayin'

Monday, May 23, 2011

1500-1700 calories a day. That's what I've been eating since i got back from Athens. Not bad, right? It's the high end of my range. And, as I've seen for months, my weight loss is slooowww even at the low end of my range. Yep, the updown/keepyourbodyguessing is, for me, the best way.
I think that this week's misgivings, for me, have to do with the 'snackin' and eating for no reason that is going on. On the other hand, my analytical mind is aware that I didn't exercise while away Or when I returned. I've had 2 workout days, and HILARIOUSLY to me I can see the against-thegrain, or, rather, the Going WITH and FOR the NEW GRAIN. REMEMBERING that I LIKE IT - exercise. I like the way I feel in my body when and after I exercise. I like what it does to remove my false-hunger (replaced by endorphins). Mmhmmm.

So- Just Sayin'...

When I got back from visiting my sister, I jumped on the scale and it said 193.
ARggghh and aghast i was admittedly crestfallen even as I hedged by telling myself that it could just be that day, the travel, ...etc.

So. I'm nervous about Weighing in on Wednesday this week. Because I promise HERE AND NOW that I will. That's my Spark Plan. And I'm STAYING ON THIS wonderfully rewarding path, no matter what the scale says. Onward and Downward!!!! Even if I've lost my 180s. Onward and Downward!

Wedding in Ann Arbor this weekend. Will Spark as I can. And will stay on the path, allowing for some social behavior indulgences, but NOT OVERBOARD!

I want this. To stay on this path.
bookmark for future conversation..... Summer Clothing. All mine is too big. And I don't feel like shopping. We'll see if i make room for that after this trip.

And to YOU (for anyone who stopped by to read this, Thank You)!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEENY_BIKINI 5/30/2011 12:02AM

    You are doing just fine. The journey is unpredictable but worth every second.

Rock this!!

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SINGAGAIN 5/24/2011 1:46PM

    Good wishes to you indeed!! I'm proud of you, and your attitude is awesome!! And here's to exercise that makes us feel to great! Why do we ever stop???? It's such a mystery to me. Love you! Keep up the good fight!! Hugs, Jodee

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PXIGRL 5/23/2011 7:30PM

  I completely understand the ups and downs, I was down in the 150's a few months back, then completely stopped caring... wanted to "enjoy life" so ate what I wanted, did what I wanted, and avoided the scale at all costs!! Now I'm in the 190's and it only took a few months... why isn't it just as easy to go back down to the 150's?? Oh Well... today is day one for me, and I'm ready to do this, for real this time, gonna get myself healthy and stay that way!!

Good Luck!!

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MAMADWARF 5/23/2011 10:37AM

    eh, the up and downs... this is life, right? But this is why spark works...because you can be on it, you can adjust for life,vacations, weddings, gains and losses. ALll you have to do is do what you gotta do. Not a problem. You got this. You know what you gotta do and you will do it, Im totally sure. Get to steppin'!

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BTINTERNET 5/23/2011 9:20AM

    *Hugs* You can do it!!!!

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Back home ;-)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

There are not words to capture or embody the way my heart swells when I have to say goodbye to my sister. And we suck at saying good bye... It's always awkward, tear-y, and sometimes riddled with out of order barbs. We did it though. We said good bye again, yesterday, as I got into the car to come Home. I'm GLAD to be HOME! Joe greeted me with lilacs and a little pink geranium in a beautiful green pot... and with an embrace that broadcast more than i remembered to remember how dear and loving and lucky I am.

Athens GA is an cute historic college and southern town. The REM/B52's gestalt is really only a topical layer of heresay. It's lush green, humid, with terrific parks and woods, and cute little shops, a fabulous hair salon where my mom got a revision on her cut and I got an Rx for my damaged fine hair. BEST OF ALL was time with my sister and my niece.

I was surprised how well my Sparkability Reserve lasted without daily internet and my network of friends. I remembered to remember YOU! You all are IN me... and our bond, connection and shared path of goal-sharing refreshed my every choice. What I noticed for sure was the absence of SURETY -- without logging my menus I had to TRUST that I was making good choices. Or, as I was traveling and had less control/discretion over my menu options en famille... I trusted that I was making good enough choices. Sometimes they were the BEST choices, and sometimes they were good enough. A SmartWater bottle purchased at the airport out was refilled multiple x daily and kept watch on my memory.

No Exercise except for a walk in the park and a walk in the woods (only 2 days out of 7).
AND.... I missed it! The exercise, the endorphins, the self-satisfaction of putting in the time toward my health and my weight loss goals.

Long story short --
I'm Glad to be Home!
We'll see when I hit the scale this week how my Spark Path Goals fared while away. (My guess is that I maintained - I may not have eaten less enough for how little I moved).

Glad to be home and look forward to catching up with YOU my FRIENDS.

I'm SO GLAD to be in community with you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SINGAGAIN 5/18/2011 7:42PM

    It sounds like a wonderful trip. And it is so nice to be missed. We missed you too! Love & welcome home hugs, Jodee

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BABY_GIRL69 5/18/2011 7:22PM

    Welcome back! God bless & we got Chicago all warm for you. Dee

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KAKIPOPUP 5/18/2011 6:51PM

    Welcome home!

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MAMADWARF 5/18/2011 12:15PM

    welcome home!!

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189.0 !!!

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Good morning to ME! oh yes!
It's taken Jan/Feb/Mar & April to lose these ten pounds (199.9-189).
And while it took longer than I thought it would, that doesn't change my feeling of arrival.
Staying on the path, even when the scale did not reward my actions, has been a good and valuable road. Staying on the path and discovering other "tells" has been a gift.

My trainer said to me "you turned a corner, didn't you?". She was speaking of something visible to her. It may have been the size of my body. It may have been the way I am moving and living in my body. It may have been and... It IS both of these.

Working with a trainer I'm learning a lot more about the inside-job of MY movement, and my relationship with integrating and being my body. "Dont think your way through it", "Get out of your head", "Let out the inner athlete", "Breathe".... These things I hear a lot from them.
I am agile. I am powerful. I am graceful. I am so much stronger and more able than I anticipate being.

And these Body experiences speak to other experiences in life vividly enough. The lesson is not lost on me. Not at all.

What to do about that? It's not a lesson to learn, to "get" and be done with all-at-once. Nope. It's one of those that is practiced over and over until it is part of the breath.

And I am excited about it. Challenged by it. Grateful. And Eager to open the next door!

I cherish this community here on Spark.
I love you my companions and friends here.
This path is made pleasurable, habitable, hilarious, friendly...
This path is made HAPPY because of you and all we share here.

I moved two more stones from the jar to the goblet! (see earlier "moving the mountain" blog if you don't remember my progress visualization for pounds to lose)

I'm in the 180's!!

If I can do this... you can do this.
If I can do this... we can do more....maybe even than we imagine.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSDUCKY 5/23/2011 7:09AM


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ELLENSANGEL 5/21/2011 10:08AM

    I love your attitude! Thanks for being an inspiration to others.

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TEENY_BIKINI 5/16/2011 4:38PM


You are fabulous!!

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 5/7/2011 4:03PM

    Halla-freaking-leuliah!!!!! I was just hallucinating about that number myself... but I've got about 10 to go again :) CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!

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FITMARY 5/6/2011 8:23AM


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BIGMAMAT 5/6/2011 7:42AM

    Keep movin those stones baby! WOOHOOO! emoticon

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PUFFPASTRY 5/6/2011 4:11AM

    Yay! Glad you're happy and excited and stirred by this change in weight - that's awesome. When I read your words, and how inspired and positive you are, I'm sometimes jealous that I can't seem to get myself to feel that way...that the parts of my life that are sad, painful, lonely and disappointing seem to always overshadow the things I could take pride in or feel happy about. Anyway, I'm glad at least one of us is present and available for the happiness! emoticon

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KITHKINCAID 5/5/2011 1:34PM

    WOOHOO! That's amazing. Good for you for sticking it out. The scale rewards those who are patient :)

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BBGYRL4 5/5/2011 11:53AM

    Congratulations!! I love your attitude, keep up the great work!!

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MAMADWARF 5/5/2011 10:31AM

    That is totally exciting! Congratulations!! I love leaving behind one of those --'s! Like the 290's, 280's etc.. I am in the 220's now and I cannot wait to be in the 210's! Isnt it a wonderful feeling of accomplishment? ANd look at the valuable lessons you are learning! ENJOY today!

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PRANA_DANCER 5/5/2011 9:31AM

    Awesome! *hugs*

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SLFRISBEY 5/5/2011 9:30AM

    Woohoo!!! So happy for you! Keep up the GREAT work. I am sure there will be more wonderful blogs like this to come! :)

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So awesome!

I am behind you. Not sure how far behind. At this rate it could be a couple of months.. lol, but I hope to join you soon!

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GOGOMAMA 5/5/2011 9:06AM

    Wow P!!! What a powerful and moving blog! I'm so very happy for you and know it must feel so sweet to cross that milestone into the next weight zone! It sounds like your trainers are adept at summoning your inner athlete/champion! But most importantly, it is how you are responding and blooming and flourishing! You are amazing and so inspiring friend! Enjoy the results of your hard work and training! Hi-five's and hugs to you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 5/5/2011 8:55AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SMFISHER99 5/5/2011 8:38AM


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VICKLET31 5/5/2011 8:34AM

    emoticon emoticon

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i'm up

Thursday, April 21, 2011

snappin out of it. snappin into it.
I've been eating at the top of my range for days.
I'm up 2# from my lowest weight so far.
That means I'm not doing all I can to Spark On
That means I'm plateau'd AND not doing all I can to Spark On

Girlfriend!!! Me.... Get your SPARK ON!!!!!!!

that's attitude
emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon, etc
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon i CAN do it! i've done it before..... and I'm coming on May!!
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I promise myself.
I'm up.
I'm awake.
I'm conscious.
I desire this.
I love myself.
This is a GIFT I give my self.

(yes... i hear me)


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SONGBARDBIRD 4/22/2011 6:04PM

    You got this!!! :D

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SLEEPTALKS 4/22/2011 2:02PM

  THIS BLOG IS FANTASTIC! I know I feel exactly like this sometimes!

I am going to steal that phrase - GET YOUR SPARK ON - for days when I need motivation, and I will most certainly be thinking of you! HAHA :)

I believe in you one million percent, thank you so much for commenting on my blog today as well, it really MADE ME SMILE!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRANDMAMAOF3 4/21/2011 2:56PM

    That's great! Not only does it help you; it helps me, too! Thanks! emoticon

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PHEFEY 4/21/2011 1:04PM

    very inspiring! bring on May, I'm ready for it too!

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GOGOMAMA 4/21/2011 12:29PM

    You are an amazing blogger!!! That's how we do it! Attitude! Think It, Believe It!!! You will get there!

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GOGOMAMA 4/21/2011 12:28PM

    You are an amazing blogger!!! That's how we do it! Attitude! Think It, Believe It!!! You will get there!

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PRANA_DANCER 4/21/2011 9:42AM

    You can totally do this!

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SINGAGAIN 4/21/2011 9:38AM

    Yay! I LOVE this blog! You go girl! You have to because now you have me all fired up and I can't do this thing without you!! Have a wonderful happy, healthy day!! Love & sunshine, Jodee
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what can i say

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

drifting. purposeful. drifting. intentional. breathing. Spring. Spark. Train. Plan. Planting. Celebrate. Soon to celebrate. Something is in the cracks. Don't know what it is. I'm fine. I'm good. I'm being my best self. Most of the time. I haven't enough 'work'. I need more social interaction. Stimulus. Synergy. Kismet. Kiss.

So.... What's up, in real time?

1) I read the notes and blogs of my beautiful spark friends and i feel both SO connected and whole and together, and, too, a bit behind- like i'm missing something - i want what you have - so many thrilling success stories... I must see myself this way! Too!

2) Another plateau. More exercise and joy of movement. Celebration of change, yes. AND I want to see the 180's, but they've got some kind of bar on the door.

3) April wedding prep is all but finished. May will have a bit of travel and end with wedding of Joe's daughter's on May 28th. We will be with his ex and her family for his first time many many years. We are focused on the JOY of the occasion. Delighted to attend and meet the many happy friends and share in the ritual of interweaving FAMILY(ies). His and theirs ... and now mine too.

4) My neurotic and thorough and FABULOSO prep pretty much done!!!!
(We've found and purchased needed attire. We've made reservations, and chipped in for other family to travel. Only things left for advance detail is deciding on and paying for The Gift, and.... Joe to heart-write his toast, and both of us to relax into the flow of the upcoming event assured of each other's love and together joining his past with our future.)

5) My family is still a whole other subject. (Perhaps for another day)

That's how and what I'm doing.
These days.

HOORAY for ALL OF YOU who've been blogging your perspectives and remembrances, bests and becauses. I love having you to light and share stories on this path! you TEACH me so much.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOGOMAMA 4/19/2011 1:10PM

    You are a huge success story and I love your big heart and learn so much from you! You have a lot going on, but you seem to be taking it all so gracefully and elegantly! That's you my friend, elegant, graceful, and heartful! You will get past that door, I know it!!! Hugs and well-wishes on all the activities! emoticon emoticon

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SINGAGAIN 4/19/2011 9:49AM

    What a beautiful blog. I love how you said your husband will "heart-write" the toast. That is so cool! That's how you wrote this blog I think... Thanks for giving us a beautiful glimpse into your inner self.

I've no doubt you will slip into the 180's, probably when you're not even "trying".

Have a beautiful, healthy, happy day! Love, Jodee
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PRANA_DANCER 4/19/2011 9:46AM

    Just keep trowing positivity and effort at that door, and the 180s will open their arms wide to you. :)

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DEBBIEKAY1 4/19/2011 9:34AM

    emoticon Loved this blog it kinda says what i feel when i read all the success stories I am not where i want to be my thankfully i am still here.


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LEAG0628 4/19/2011 9:29AM

    I love #2. I feel the same way about the 170's. emoticon Sounds like you've had a busy Spring so far!

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