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am and pm - discuss

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

so… morning check-ins are so grounding
giving a kiss and a hug to myself
as i start the day
with intentions
with presence
Drink water
take vitamins
Log first bites….

Lunch the past few days is telegraphed in by phone
ANd that too has been smooth

It's by mid-late afternoon the past couple of days (and in general as i look back)
by 2/3pm a "snack" not well-enough PLANNED

**yes, p… here's the answer … Plan you Snacks! *and that's the best reason to have opened a new blog today. kudos.**

So the past two days I've tracked and chosen well AM into PM and then drifted at 3pm snack…into unplanned suppers…. which …. i did not track.

It's on the wall now, babe
With love

Plan the PMs
Not rigid… but keep to the goals
And… yes… Track.

P.S. It feels really good to be in touch with some of my friends old and new here on Spark.
Thank you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AUNTRENEE 11/18/2014 2:32PM


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CHOCOHIPPO 11/18/2014 12:44PM

    PM is always harder for me too somehow. I can handle 3pm snack and dinner....it's after dinner that I eat my feelings...

You have wonderful self awareness and should be proud of yourself!

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SANDISOCAROLINA 11/18/2014 11:28AM


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The 10 Commandments of True Happiness - Deepak Chopra

Monday, November 17, 2014

1. Listen to Your Body’s Wisdom

Our body expresses itself through signals of comfort and discomfort. When choosing a certain behavior, ask your body, “How do you feel about this?” If your body sends a signal of physical or emotional distress, watch out. If your body sends a signal of comfort and eagerness, proceed.

2. Live in the Present

The present is the only moment you have. Keep your attention on what is here and now; look for the fullness in every moment. Accept what comes to you totally and completely so that you can appreciate it, learn from it, and then let it go. The present is as it should be. It reflects infinite laws of Nature that have brought you this exact thought, this exact physical response. This moment is as it is because the universe is as it is. Don’t struggle against the infinite scheme of things; instead, be at one with it.

3. Take Time to Be Silent …

… to meditate, to quiet the internal dialogue. In moments of silence, realize that you are re-contacting your source of pure awareness. Pay attention to your inner life so that you can be guided by intuition rather than externally imposed interpretations of what is or isn't good for you.

4. Relinquish Your Need for External Approval

You alone are the judge of your worth, and your goal is to discover infinite worth in yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. There is great freedom in this realization. When you find yourself reacting with anger or opposition to any person or circumstance, realize that you are only struggling with yourself. Putting up resistance is the response of defenses created by old hurts.

5. When You Find Yourself Reacting With Anger …

… or opposition to any person or circumstance, realize that you are only struggling with yourself. Putting up resistance is the response of defenses created by old hurts. When you relinquish this anger, you will be healing yourself and cooperating with the flow of the universe.

6. Know That the World “Out There” Reflects Your Reality “in Here”

The people you react to most strongly, whether with love or hate, are projections of your inner world. What you most hate is what you most deny in yourself. What you most love is what you most wish for in yourself. Use the mirror of relationships to guide your evolution. The goal is total self-knowledge. When you achieve that, what you most want will automatically be there, and what you most dislike will disappear.

7. Shed the Burden of Judgment

You will feel much lighter. Judgment imposes right and wrong on situations that just are. Everything can be understood and forgiven, but when you judge, you cut off understanding and shut down the process of learning to love. In judging others, you reflect your lack of self-acceptance. Remember that every person you forgive adds to your self-love.

8. Don’t Contaminate Your Body With Toxins

Either through food, drink, or toxic emotions. Your body is more than a life-support system. It is the vehicle that will carry you on the journey of your evolution. The health of every cell directly contributes to your state of well being, because every cell is a point of awareness within the field of awareness that is you.

9. Replace Fear-Motivated Behavior With Love-Motivated Behavior

Fear is the product of memory, which dwells in the past. Remembering what hurt us before, we direct our energies toward making certain that an old hurt will not repeat itself. But trying to impose the past on the present will never wipe out the threat of being hurt. That happens only when you find the security of your own being, which is love. Motivated by the truth inside you, you can face any threat because your inner strength is invulnerable to fear.

10. Understand That the Physical World Is Just a Mirror of a Deeper Intelligence.

Intelligence is the invisible organizer of all matter and energy, and since a portion of this intelligence resides in you, you share in the organizing power of the cosmos. Because you are inseparably linked to everything, you cannot afford to foul the planet’s air and water. But at a deeper level, you cannot afford to live with a toxic mind, because every thought makes an impression on the whole field of intelligence. Living in balance and purity is the highest good for you and the Earth

- See more at: http://www.chopra.com/ccl/the-10-commandme

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHOCOHIPPO 11/17/2014 4:12PM

    Wonderful advice!!!!!

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SANDISOCAROLINA 11/17/2014 11:38AM

    Good stuff. emoticon

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Frequent Flyers and other clubs on the head

Saturday, October 04, 2014

Wow. Last blog was in July??? That's a 'tell'… for sure.
Here I am, now. Sitting in a little seaside village in CA… in a rented house… with craigslist sofa a couple of chairs, …. Great fortune in these parts. Boxes. Kitchen not working yet. Eating out too much.

I'm not good at transitions.
Because-- my mind can't stop problem solving… and my focus on wholistic living is frazzled. What goes first is the food. And when the food is working IT takes a whole lot of the focus.

Can I rebalance…tune this engine…at so late an age?


ARTHRITIS… Everybody sing it out.
I've got BAD arthritis in my feet. And it causes real pain. And excuses…. for not moving.
Real and construct. I am declaring here that I MUST FIND A TRUER CALIBRATION of what I can do without harming my bones and joints. I miss the ME that MOVES MORE.

I really like it when I'm "Sparked" up and On

When I lost the biggest amount of weight here 2010-2012…. I made diet and exercise the centerpiece of my schedule and priorities. And my budget. I hired personal trainers… etc.
After I searched and found the most 'perfect' fit for me.

I'm still looking for the right person to help me here in Ca.
Cinderella? Magic Slippers?


I've been eating through the changes.
And the scale and my attitude show it.

174 on the scale today.
A couple of weeks ago I was down to 167 again.
Want to get back into the 50's…. stabilize there again….
And then, really, want to get into the 40s. The mid/upper 30's is my goal.

My feet need me to take weight off of them.
It's serious structural issues now, folks. And vanity too.

I've never been "thin" and I don't care about that.
I want to be HEALTHY.
I want to love and respect myself.

Has this been the story of my life?
I don't know… there may be other stories too.

The leader at Weight Watchers spoke of himself as a "frequent flier" -- that he'd joined and started and stopped many times before he "got it" and it "stuck". SPARK helped me deeply "get it" … I fell off a wagon, not out of an airplane.

Pick your self up,
Dust yourself off
Start All Over Again !!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHOCOHIPPO 10/11/2014 10:29AM

    You can do it. Be patient, my friend. Transitions are difficult but exciting!

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    A little seaside village in Cali sounds GREAT! Did you make a major move there recently? We just moved 2,000 miles (from Az. to SC) put our things in storage, and are hoteling it until we find something to buy. Eating out way too much also- the romance wears off quickly doesn't it. We stopped at a grocery store today and bought some fresh things and healthy bottled protein drinks. I was going to make my own in a blender I packed but honestly it's so cramped in here I haven't had the heart to do it.

I'm starting from square one also. Let's get this show on the road and do this!! emoticon

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Pants - Fit … Alice

Thursday, July 03, 2014

For as long as I can remember… that scene in Alice in Wonderland.. You know the one… the bigger smaller bigger smaller scene…. hooked me and is in my image repertoire, haunts me.

I put on the MK orange jeans I bought almost 2 years ago… today
yeah, the ones that had gotten Too Big…. but not SO too big I couldn't wear them
yeah, the ones I considered throwing out
because of the idea of 'not keeping bigger sizes… not leaving the door open'.

Well… Today they are tight.
And, no… they did not just come out of the drier.


So I cried a bit. Leaked, more like it.
Begged myself to forgive myself for the weight gain.
Felt DEEPLY the lost ground
Felt haunted by ALICE
and by memories of the oh-so-many-times… "The Weight" "CAME BACK"


It -- "the weight" -- does NOT just 'come back'
there is no auto pilot
no magic potion

OKAY… You've been in a scary trajectory
and have taken weeks and weeks now "TRYing to rebuild Spark Skills"
("trying is lying" ???)
or something like that.

There are big big issues.
LIFE and SKILLS lacking for LIFE
Processing Difficulties… traffic jam in my heart and head

SPARK FOCUS may help you
Don't get lost in dieting

But DIET if you must… to get the trajectory steady or Onward and Downward

Friends will help you to not forget
the big picture
(no not of your ass… or the tight orange pants)


and Taking Myself Lightly
seriously and sweetly

the decisions will follow
the decisions will lead

gotta go for now

March Skip Stroll Swim

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BIGMAMAT 7/17/2014 9:24PM

    Easy to go there. I'm right there with ya. hugs. T

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MCMARTI26 7/4/2014 11:39PM

    Forgive yourself and focus. SP will be there to help you regain confidence.

We can do this!!

Carolina M. emoticon

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CHOCOHIPPO 7/3/2014 10:25PM

    you can do this!!!!!

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BABY_GIRL69 7/3/2014 1:58PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

God bless,


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AUNTRENEE 7/3/2014 10:07AM

    Been there done that. Reading this make me realize that I have to sort out my clothes again. Got clothes that I got that I never wore because they're too big. I got a pair of jeans at Target one time that were on sale that I was going to get shortened but now they're at least 3 to 4 sizes too big.

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ANDREWMOM 7/3/2014 9:09AM

    emoticon I understand - been there MANY tiimes.

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Don't Panic

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

This is not about the history.
This is about NOW.
And This is about ME. Moi.

I've been in a panic. Accellerating.
Life circumstances. Undercurrents becoming main narratives.
I maintained a wt loss of 80 lbs for over a year.
Then shi* happened. And I did pretty good considering. Up and down. But only 5 lb swings.
Then … as challenges got more and more new and habits fell away
I panicked SOFTLY
softly at first.
COPING with food.
Grounding with food.
Transitioning with food.
Comforting with food.
Identifying with food.
Finding Familiar in Food.
Even the familiar struggle of DIET and WOES?????

Damn it!! P!!!
No no non no
Don't take that tone with yourself!!!!

Aha. There there.

That's all darling
(Speak to yourself kindly. As you would someone else. With compassion.
With love.)


I like being more lithe.
I want it.

Okay… the heavier body… the tighter clothes
And.. guess what…?
When I'm scared like that…. I ate. I used to. And I've been doing so again.

I DO … I DO want … my script to include more than weight and food narrative.
I DO want to S T R E T C H

First things First, Love
Turn Here…. and to KM …. for the soft vulnerable truth of your fear
and for the strong wise truth of your inner being

your experience s are stretching

No where to run
No need to hide
Okay to retreat
But don't shut down, lovey
Stay with me
Stay with me
And let's find the sweet way to enjoy the time

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITMARY 7/5/2014 12:58PM


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CHOCOHIPPO 7/2/2014 7:10PM

    Well said!

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STEVEN_D 7/1/2014 11:39PM

    Here is what I can relate to: 80 pound weight loss in a year and keeping it off within 5 pounds or so. That is awesome and that is our connection, so let us keep going!!

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AUNTRENEE 7/1/2014 10:01PM

    Amen to that.

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