Well Here I am Mad as H E double hockey sticks at myself , I hate it when I am my own worse enemy. I hate when I let numbers control me !!
I worked so hard this last week. Exercised EVERY DAY swimming and aqua classes. This is a new concept for me to get up and Move is just not in me..I was exhausted. I ached, but I kept going . It was going to better me!! I controlled my urges and ate in my ranges without any real difficulty.
All to GAIN a 1/2 a pound. I was livid, upset to tears. So what do I do I run to the nearest dealer for my fix A Big country breakfast, fried taters and a loaded omelet with toast and fresh jam. Hey your off the wagon go full boogie... Ran into another dealer having a double entrée special on Chinese food Yea Score!! Take it All in feel the rush of fullness, the warm contentment overwhelming me .
Now all of a sudden shame and embarrassment overcome me hatred for what I have become . This drug has destroyed my girlish figure. This drug has consumed my mid life attention span, This drug has ruined my ability to move and breath, Yet I continue to allow it to lead me down a path I need to alter. The road less taken is full of shadows and hard to follow at times. It is very easy for me to deviate from the path.
So here I am. Pulling myself back on the wagon heading toward a clean life.
I have a tread mill. I have been trying to walk it in the evenings for a half hour . The pain in my knees is unbelievable. The swelling afterwards is crazy. I know I was very hard on them as a gymnast in school.
SO I have the solution!! I have signed up for aqua aerobics and aqua zumba classes . I believe I need to get some weight off these joints first. Then I could go back to my treadmill . So here is to me getting up to MOVE IT, MOVE IT!!!!
One of my Favorite songs "Here I go Again on My Own"....Well not this time!!! I know if I just put my hand out The spark people are here to push me, to cheer me, to challenge me. I just to to ask and stay involved. I did this one 3 yrs ago for 54 lbs and Have to do this again. My health is worse than a 70 year old. I have life to live and and Granddaughters to mentor and LOVE.
This is NOT going to be easy...But I have the tools I need and the ability to use them.