PIXIEMOM13   26,163
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2014 Racing

Thursday, February 20, 2014

I don't do a lot of races.
Mostly its because as funny as it sounds, I like the longer distances. I joke it takes me a mile or two to truly get in the grove and in a 5K that's almost finished! So I "like" 8Ks, 10K and half marathons.
The problem there is at least in terms of the half marathon as slow as I've been lately (past year or so since regaining about 35 of the 60 I had lost)... that I need a cutoff time of 3.5 hrs or MORE to feel like "Yes, I can do this one" --- best half time was 2:48:35 (at the -60 lbs) , worst was ~3 hr 21 min (Historic half in May 2013, after most of the regain).

Now my county running club usually has a "weekly series" race that the fees are like 1 or 2$ but the thing there is my own hangups. I am SLOW...and many of them are true gazelles. So I don't often do the longer races there.. especially since I run/walk and not do straight running like many of them do.

And of course there's always the simple fact that bigger races (with the crowd support, cutoff times, etc) are usually expensive. I just can't afford to do a lot of them.

So yesterday in my feed I mentioned I was trying to register for some Marine Corps races. The first one I wanted to get into was the Marine Corps 17.75k (~11 miles). I did it last year..and this is a race that sells out FAST. Last year it sold out in less than an hour. The main reason is that when you finish it you get a "golden ticket" -- guaranteed entry into the Marine Corps marathon..which has consistently sold out in about 2hrs.. in fact that is one reason this year, 2014, the MCM is going to a lottery registration. So the golden ticket race means more than ever to some folks.

Now I didn't NEED the golden ticket because I had done 17.75 last year and had gotten one (and into MCM) but deferred on MCM after the coward's attack on me. As a deferral I already had a guaranteed in. But if I had made it into 17.75 I would have given my golden ticket to a friend.

But as you might guess from my tone, I didn't get into the race. The race sold out in 9 minutes.. maybe less than 9 minutes. Oh well... I had hoped to do it, it was fun..but it wasn't necessary if you know what I mean.

I DID register for the Marine Corps Historic Half in May.
And yesterday was the first day I could, as a deferral, re-register for the Marine Corps marathon. So I did. This will be my first marathon.

I'm trying to be positive here.. it WILL be my first. I will do it.. I will finish.

But even as I type that there's the flutterings of panic. Sure, I can do a half..but I worry about of course doing the full distance... and there's the additional pressure of "beating the bridge".

This is from the MCM FAQ...
What is Beat the Bridge?
Runners must maintain the 14 minute-per-mile pace to reach the 14th Street Bridge and successfully "Beat the Bridge" just before mile marker 20. The 14th Street Bridge will reopen to vehicular traffic making it unavailable to runners after 1:15 p.m. Any runners unable to "Beat the Bridge" will be required to board the straggler buses and be driven to the event finish area

Last summer before I deferred, my pace in longer runs was at best in the 14-14:30 range. Almost, but not quite the needed pace. Toward the end of summer I was hitting faster paces in shorter runs 12-13 minutes, but then my training went into a tailspin with the summer heat and after that rat-b*stard coward groped me on the bike path. I didn't feel safe on the bike paths and finding someone to train with at my pace was... hard. Plus I had panic attacks at first at the thought of going outside to run. I was hyper-aware of my surroundings and my heart would just pound...even in situations where I knew I was safe -- like at the high school track, and initially at the treadmill at the gym.

Now the winter has been... BLEH...here in Maryland. Bitter cold and more recently snow. Its thrown another monkey wrench in the works. The last long outdoor run I did was on Feb 2 (so more than 2 weeks ago!)... a 7 mile run with an average pace of 13:43. (I think I was doing either 1 min run 1 min walk intervals... or it might have been 1.5 min run / 1 min walk)


So that gives me hope that with consistency and continued training I can hit the required minimum pace -- or maybe a tad faster. But a marathon is a BIG deal... so I have the flutterings of panic.
There's part of me that thinks "Who am I to think I can do this?" I'm obese! I'm no athlete!

I've heard people say "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right." or something along those lines. So what do you say to someone who is literally arguing with herself almost every step of the way? There's part of me that says "You CAN do it....even as heavy as you are, you move at a decent pace... and you're back at weight watchers, working on the weight... you can do this."
and there's the part of me that says "I'm not an athlete.. not a "real" runner... I'm just 'fatgirl'." what my tormenters called me in middleschool.

I'm truly not fishing for sympathy... just trying to explain some of the stuff swirling around in my head.

That said.. I've got the Columbia Irongirl half on 4/27. I've got to see what I can do about picking my training back up to prepare for that. Its hard when the sidewalks are iced over in many places and my gym membership is lapsed. But hubby has said that maybe we can get me a good running quality treadmill with some of our tax refund. I haven't been sitting on my butt doing nothing... I've been doing indoor walks with Leslie Sansone...and that has helped maintain my fitness some, but it isn't readmill running....and it definitely isn't outdoor running!!

Then I've got the Historic half in May... the Ft McHenry Tunnel 5k on September (Not registered for this one yet, but Thomas and I have done it for 4yrs in a row... Ft McHenry tunnel being one of his FAVORITE places in the world.

I may or may not register for the Strider's 'metric marathon' (26.2k) which is also in Sept I think.. and then of course the big kahuna... the marine corpts marathon.

Sorry this is a ramble.. welcome to my mind (such as it is!) ;)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRYSBROWN1 2/21/2014 2:31PM

    You can DEFINITELY do the marathon, the fact of the matter is that you want it, you are committed (just look at all the races you have done!) so you WILL do it!

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LEWILL1982 2/20/2014 3:18PM

    I agree with IRISHBEANGIRL -tell the voices in your head to shut the front door! You've got this and the fact that you're signed up for the marathon is a pretty sure bet that you will figure out the training and get through this. I want to do one, but can't even sign up for it, so you are ahead of me! You have lofty goals and that will get you back on target. One.Step.At.A.Time!

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    "Fatgirl" or not - you are still a runner... so tell the voices in your head to shut up.

At 245 pounds I still lift much more than I did when I was almost down to 200. Someone wanna tell me I'm not an athlete because I put back on some weight? I dare ya!


Bottom line - if you don't try, you will wonder forever. If you do try, and don't make it- that will fuel your need to get it done the next time. And, IF YOU DO MAKE IT... those voices in your head will have to suck it... sounds like a win/win to me, all around.

Let us know what you decide.


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Scale whining

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

I'm following weight watchers and this past week and the week before last I tracked (honestly and completely vs my old half-a$$ed tracking)...and have kept up a streak on my active link of 100% or better.

Weigh in days are Tuesdays (usually)
so week of Weds 1/22- Tues 1/28) -1.8 lbs
week of Weds 1/29 - Tues 2/4 +.2

I don't think its a REAL gain.... but even knowing that, I'm still bummed, 'cause I did everything right and the $%^$%&^&%^*&^*(&^ scale doesn't reflect that!

The reason I don't think its a real gain is that I went to a birthday party for my 11 yr old nephew on Sunday. I did a 7 mile run/walk, so I know I had plenty of activity! lol..and I think I counted everything I ate.. even tried to overestimate.... but I know some of it was salty stuff.

and even knowing that... I'm bummed. I was hoping to break out of the 220s (was 221.6, now 221.8)

That said I'm not giving up... I'm going to keep tracking... and keep working on getting 100% of goal on my activelink. I really don't know what else to do. :(

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIZMOLUVSME 2/5/2014 8:56AM

    I can become a slave to the scale thats for sure! But I have also learned to focus on NSV's (non scale victories). Some of mine are not having had fast food for several months now when I was addicted before; my jeans becoming very baggy, my thighs being sculpted by the working out on my Gazelle....etc. When the scale doesnt move, or moves in the wrong direction, I try to focus on those NSV's to keep me from giving up. You can also choose to track your sodium in your nutrition tracker here on Sparkpeople. Most people dont realize how much sodium they are REALLY taking in and when they start to cut that down as well, they lose a whole lot of pounds. Best of luck to you! YOU can DO this!

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APED7969 2/5/2014 8:05AM

    Don't let the scale rule you! I've been seriously back at this for 2-3 weeks and have went up a kilo, that's 2.2lbs. God knows why, I'm exercising a lot more, tracking accurately and staying at the low end of my range. Of course it annoys me a little but clearly I'm doing things correctly so I just have to wait for the eventual results. It sounds like you're also doing things right, the scale will cooperate eventually! Even if it doesn't for me my main aim is to see smaller measurments at the end of the month, I could weigh exactly the same and if I measure smaller I'll be happy :-) Just keep doing the right things and you'll get the right results!

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TEMPENATIVE 2/5/2014 1:00AM

    I'm sorry the scale is not your friend right now. You are so active too! I track and exercise and see moderate results. Does not encourage me. I just need to stick with it for a couple of months and not give up like I always do when I get discouraged at not enough scale movement. Hang in there babe! Maybe we can encourage each other. I will try to get on and blog everyday if I can. emoticon

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TIMOTHY53 2/4/2014 11:41PM

    The scale is just a tool. Like a compass. If you don't use it how will you know how to get to your destination. "Darned compass ALWAYS points that way."

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MUFFIY831 2/4/2014 6:33PM

    Ugh the scale is stupid. :) Keep up the excellent work and maybe take measurements too?

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A big NSV for me

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

It actually happened on 1-22-14... and I'm sorry I didn't write about it then, but I can honestly say I'm very very proud of myself for it.

Here's what I wrote that evening in an email to my weight watchers leader:


Sorry if this story is a bit disjointed, but bear with me.

Today 13 years ago we lost my dad.

He had entered the hospital on 12/27 and at first they had no idea what was wrong... he was experiencing pain that they couldn't find a cause for. He was transferred to a larger hospital where they figured out it was shingles. He seemed to be rallying from it when a secondary infection killed him. It was unexpected.

I was about 20 weeks pregnant with my son (a child conceived after 2 yrs of trying, one year of that with fertility help)..

Shattered is the word that comes to mind when I think of the call that told us he was gone... he was only 53 years old.

13 years and I still miss him... and the loss is keener on this day.

When I first got home I checked my active link and it was at 55%. (I have been trying to start/keep up a streak of 100% or better on active link)

I was feeling down and blue and missing my dad... and I *definitely* didn't want to go outside and walk. $%# cold and some of my neighbors don't exactly clear their sidewalks as well as they should. (Plus this powdery snow drifts and blows).

In the past I would have used my poor mood and the cold as excuses to wallow in the blues and not move....but I found a video and moved my butt, got the sweat going and felt my mood lift just a bit. I still miss my dad, but I think he'd be proud of me for doing what I can to get healthier.

Now active link says 5 activity points and exactly 100%. Streak day 10 (Previous record was 24 days... I'm determined to break it.)

and I didn't write this then, but it happened and it was true. I consciously realized that I was sad... and that it was okay and NORMAL to be sad on this particular day. I didn't need to eat to stuff down my feelings. I was sad, d*mnit, and that was normal... I could acknowledge it, feel it and then I did something that even though I didn't want to on one level, on another level I KNEW would help me. Then I was proud of myself and teary because I knew as I said up above that my dad would be proud.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REBECCAMA 1/29/2014 2:00PM

  Good for you. You owned that feeling of sadness and you didn't let that stop you from reaching your goal. That is really great. Congratulations!

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MUFFIY831 1/29/2014 9:16AM

    Well said, and good for you. It's a funny thing, isn't it, when you finally realize you can't eat your feelings away? It's like, "Well duuuuuuhh," but it sure does take a long time to figure that out. :)

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LILMISSRED79 1/29/2014 12:27AM

    Having just lost my dad a few months ago, I can really feel your pain and understand what a huge victory this is. Way to go!

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TEMPENATIVE 1/29/2014 12:06AM

    Thanks for sharing your story. That's powerful. I wonder what I have in my own life to motivate me that much. Something to think about I guess.

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TIMOTHY53 1/28/2014 11:09PM

    What a great story.

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IRISHBEANERGAL 1/28/2014 10:11PM

    This blog has all sorts of good in it - even mixed in with the sorrow - what a wonderful gift you gave yourself on that tough day.

Take good care of yourself!


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ELLEJAY7 1/28/2014 7:19PM

    Glad you could finally write about being sad, come to terms with it and understand it. Very impressive! Keep up the good work!

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STEVEN_D 1/28/2014 7:07PM

    It's really easier to do nothing when we get down, so good for you. WIth a recent loss ,yself, you really have to push thru some days and get enough rest, exercise and good food. Good for you!!

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Motivation to get moving!

Thursday, January 02, 2014

I came up with this idea for my daughter who is 7 (she'll turn 8 in March). But then the longer I thought on it, the more I could see it would work for anyone: kids to us bigger kids! lol

My daughter is active to begin with, ao I'm lucky there. As I posted in December, she loves to walk with me. She also loves for me to post her picture on my facebook feed (limited to friends and family only) though I shared the picture below with some more public groups because it doesn't show her face.

Anyway...the idea, come up with as I walked to my weight watchers meeting Christmas eve morning was this.... to keep a log of the miles she walks and create the following shirt with fabric paint and stencils:

Then each Friday I would add up her miles for that week and take a picture of her with her shirt reflecting those miles. The Friday pictures would be short term rewards and then at the end of the year her final mileage would be put on with the stencils and fabric paint. (That's why the initial numbers are on felt...and the 3.1 was just for the first picture... as of today her total is 1.2 miles so far, with probably another 1.7 being added on tonight.)

Anyway, this could work for us bigger kids, right?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EBURGITE 1/7/2014 10:42AM

    great idea!

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TIMOTHY53 1/2/2014 11:29PM

    What a great idea!

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ERLYWA 1/2/2014 9:23PM

    What a FUN idea!!

emoticon emoticon

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TOTALFOCUS 1/2/2014 8:39PM

    That is a marvelous idea! emoticon

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HATTIE2012 1/2/2014 2:43PM

    That is a great idea!

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2014 goals

Thursday, January 02, 2014

I don't make resolutions...because they always get broken. But I do like setting goals. Even if I don't hit them all, they give me something to aim for.

So here are my goals so far for 2014:

1. To end 2014 weighing less than I began it. (First weigh in with weightwatchers will be 1/7/14. I ended 2013 on 12/31/13 (yes, we had a meeting that morning!) with a weight of 224.6

2. To finish at least two half marathons this year: Columbia Irongirl halfmarathon April 27, 2014. and Marine Corps Historic Half on May 18, 2014.

Ideally I would like to finish below 3 hrs for each... especially for the Marine Corps historic half where I hope to blow my 3 hrs 21 min time out of the water.
(Best half marathon time was 2 hr 48 and worst was the 3 hr 21)

3. Train for and complete the Marine Corps marathon in October. No time goals other than to #1...finish #2.. upright #3 with a smile on my face (grimace acceptable)....

and by #1 finish.... I mean beat the bridge (ave 14 min/mi for the first 20 miles)..

4. Log at least 1,200 miles for 2014 walking or running.

In December 2013 I managed to log 137.2 miles (mostly walking but some running), so I think this is reasonable. I'll say in June I'll see where I'm at and reevaluate.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EBURGITE 1/7/2014 10:43AM

sounds like you've got a great plan.

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TIMOTHY53 1/4/2014 10:03PM

    Those are laudable goals.

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TOTALFOCUS 1/2/2014 8:38PM

    Great Goals!
Thanks for sharing!

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