Saturday, December 29, 2012
Today is of my current streak!
On March 1, 2012, I decided that I was sick of being obese, unhealthy, lazy, uninspired and unmotivated. I was sick of being embarrassed by how I looked, sick of breathing hard with just the slightest bit of exertion, sick of my back and knees hurting all the time. I was so tired of being uncomfortable in my own body whether I was sitting, standing or laying down. I was tired of feeling bad ALL of the time.
I decided it was time to join my Sparkfriends Arlene and Debbie, trying to build a streak of good days in a row. I didn't know if it would work for me, or if I would be able to get beyond day one. But I knew I had to try. Doing nothing was getting me nowhere, so what did I have to lose by at least making an attempt to change things?
So I started. I was totally committed to just getting through that first day. I woke up on March first and I got out my personal journal and I planned my meals and snacks for the day. Then I went into the living room and I worked out with My Fitness Coach for Wii. I weighed 286 lbs, and was so out of shape! In less that two minutes (no exxageration) I was out of breath, sweating, and wanting to just go sit down or have a snack. It would have been so easy to quit, but I kept pushing myself. I worked out for 15 minutes, and for that entire time, I wanted to give up.
Part of me was saying "Just stop....you can try again tomorrow."
But there was another voice saying "You know that if you quit now, it will be MONTHS before you start again, and you know it!"
So I kept going, and I got through that 15 minute workout. And when I was done, there was a new feeling, one I hadn't had in a long, long time. I was PROUD of myself! I felt such a wonderful sense of accomplishment and...hope. I had worked out! I'd persevered! Yes, it was only 15 minutes, but I did it! I stood there in my living room, breathing heavy, my shirt stuck to my back from sweat, and I couldn't stop smiling. And I knew that I wanted to feel this way again!
That was the moment when my streak really began. And from that small beginning, I worked my way up to more and more days in a row. I worked my way up from 15 minutes of exercise a day to 30, to 45, to 90.
I got to day 290 of my streak two weeks ago...and then I got off track. I was disappointed in myself, but I didn't waste time beating myself up over it. I didn't let one bad day lead to two bad days or a bad week (or bad month.) I got right back on track...and this time my streak lasted for 13 days.
Yesterday, I got off track again. I binged on a LOT of food, to the point of feeling sick. And when I went to bed last night, I was feeling very remorseful and angry with myself. But today is a new day, and the start of another new streak. I got up this morning and I worked out! I did two 30 minute DDP Yoga workouts, and then I had a healthy breakfast. I planned my food for the day, and so far I have been on track. I just finished a 30 minute Zumba workout, and I feel great! Yesterday was a bad day, but it was just ONE day. Today is a good day...and yes, thats just ONE day too, but I'm determined to keep going, to day two, day three and beyond.
I don't know how long this streak will last, but one thing I do know is that I will never give up. I may fall down, but I will never stay down. I'm not the same person I was before I started streaking in March. I am strong, determined and healthy. Not perfect, but definitely making progress!
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Today is day 10 of my streak!
Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful, healthy holiday! I am preparing a nice meal for my hubby and son....I'm making their favorite, crockpot meatloaf, from a recipe I got on the Food Network website. Since I'm a vegetarian, I won't be having any of it. But I WILL have a treat today, just a little one! I bought the cutest little cake from the grocery store yesterday. Its supposed to be 2 servings but I will cut it into three so that we can all have some. I have already written it in my food journal, and although I will be at the higher end of my calories today because of it, I will still be on track. I know that one little treat won't ruin my whole day, and it doesn't have to turn into a binge. I'm going to enjoy that little piece of cake!
Last night, I just couldn't wait...there were two gifts under the tree for me, and I just had to open them! First was a gift from my Sparkfriend Janesloss. She sent me a really pretty tea mug (I drink tea all day long) and a box of spicy orange tea. Normally I go more for the "dessert" type of teas...my favorite is French Vanilla, and I would love to find some chocolate tea someday! So this tea from Jane was not something I normally would have chosen for myself, but it sure is good! I will definitely buy myself some more of it when this box is gone. Thanks for the mug and the tea, Jane....and for getting me to try a new flavor instead of the same old, same old!
Also under the tree for me was a gift from my hubby. Since he is unemployed right now, money is tight and we agreed that we wouldn't exchange gifts with each other. Well, he surprised me! He sold something from his sports memorabilia collection so that he could buy me a Wii workout...Zumba! This is the one he got for me;
I have already worked out with it three times since I opened it last night....and I don't look ANYTHING like those women in the video when they workout, lol. I look more like Curly from the 3 Stooges! I feel like such a lumbering klutz when I do the workout, but I just laugh and keep going. I may not look graceful when I Zumba, but it sure does get my heart rate up, and its a lot of fun! Plus, I know I will get better at it if I stick with it.
That is one thing I've learned this year....just keep going and you will get better! When I first started streaking on March 1, I was working out with My Fitness Coach for Wii, and every workout I did was hard for me. I wanted to quit about a million times. But I stuck with it, and the workouts started to get easier. Then I realized...the workouts are not getting easier. The workouts are the same. But I'm getting better! That realization was such an eye opener to me, and now whenever I struggle with something, I just remind myself that if I keep trying, I'll get better.
When I first started my original streak back in March, a 15 minute workout exhausted me. Now I workout for at least an hour a day (and usually more.) When I first started DDP Yoga in May, it was so hard...but I kept at it and I got better. Now I have my Wii Zumba workout, and just you wait...I'm going to get better, and one of these days I won't look like a clodhopper when I do the workout, lol.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Today is day 6 of my on track streak!
I originally started streaking on March 1st, and I managed to go for 290 days before breaking that streak. When that streak ended, I was disappointed, but not as much as I thought I would be. Mostly, I was just proud of myself for lasting so long...and I was especially proud of myself for starting over instead of giving up once it ended.
When I started my streak in March, I got a starting weigh in and then I stopped weighing myself. I stayed off the scale until the Rootin' for Ruby Labor Day Pound-a-thon challenge in August. This morning, I got a Sparkmail asking me how I managed to stay off the scale for so long, so I thought I would blog about that today.
Staying off the scale should have been difficult for me, because I have always been scale obsessed. Even when I wasn't actively trying to lose weight, I would weigh myself a LOT. At least once a day, and sometimes multiple times a day. If I was trying to lose weight, I would get on that scale and if I didn't like the number, it would ruin my day. I would console myself...with food! If I liked the number, I would be happy and I'd reward myself...with food! If I wasn't trying to lose weight, I'd still get on the scale and then beat myself up for how high the number would be. Then I'd go console myself...with food!
So when I started streaking in March, I decided to just forgo the scale as much as possible. Once I got my starting weight, I was done with weighing in all the time. Instead, I just decided to focus on my health. I challenged myself to make each day as healthy as I possibly could. This involved all the obvious things, such as drinking water, tracking my food, and working out. I also eliminated processed foods as much as possible.
At the beginning of my streak, I worked out for 15 minutes a day. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but it was all I could do. I was working out with a video game for the Wii, called My Fitness Coach. I pushed myself hard during those workouts, and although I had to modify the moves a lot, at the end of those 15 minutes I would be drenched in sweat and completely worn out. I was actually shocked by how out of shape I really was. I had always told myself "For a fat girl, I'm in pretty good shape." Wow, what a lie! I had been living such a sedentary life, even just walking across the room would leave my breathless, but somehow I had convinced myself that I was "in pretty good shape." Now I was facing the reality....I was in terrible shape! I weighed 286 lbs and a 15 minute workout was exhausting to me! But I knew that if I kept working out every day, those 15 minutes would increase.
So every morning, I would get up and do my 15 minute workout. After a couple of weeks, I added a second 15 minute workout in the evening. I began to notice that my clothes were getting a little looser, and that the workouts weren't quite as exhausting to me. I increased my workout time to 30 minutes, twice a day. I was still working out with My Fitness Coach, but after about 6 weeks of that, I was getting a little bored. I knew I had to find another workout to do. I eventually discovered DDP Yoga, and I mentioned it to hubby. He surprised me by ordering it for me!
When I got the workouts, I was so excited, and so eager to try something new! But boy, when I first tried that workout, it was harder than I thought it would be. I had to modify the moves a LOT! And even with that, the workout was still so difficult for me. But I knew I had to keep pushing. I knew that if I kept at it, I would get better. So I stuck with it, and I did get better and better. As the weight came off, not only did I go down in clothing sizes, but I went UP in energy, strength and stamina. As the inches melted away, I was able to get deeper into the yoga poses, and my flexibility increased.My workouts increased from 15 minutes a day to 30 minutes a day to where I am now, at 90 minutes a day (broken up into three workouts.) What awesome non-scale victories!
When the Pound-a-thon challenge started on August 13, I was finally ready to weigh myself. To be honest, it was hard for me to step on that scale! But I did it, and I was so happy to see that I'd lost 65 lbs. And at the end of the challenge, on Labor Day, I weighed again and found that I'd lost 6 more lbs, for a total of 71 lbs lost since March first!
I haven't been on the scale since then, though. I find that it is easier for me to stay on track if I don't have to worry about weighing myself. For me, what works is focusing on being healthy, not on weight. I do feel that I am at a plateau, because my clothing size has not changed in a while. But I'm fine with that, because I STILL have NSV's all the time! I can do so many things now that I couldn't do when I started my streak. I have so much energy, and I feel so much younger! I feel HEALTHY. And I know that this plateau won't last forever. I know that I will eventually reach my goal, to be a size 8. Right now I'm a size 14, so I'm close!
Maybe staying off the scale isn't for everyone, but its what works for me.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Today is day ONE of my brand new " on track " streak!
My previous streak ended yesterday due to a binge. I had been on track for 290 days! Wow, what a huge number, huh? And I am very proud of myself for it. But you know what? I'm even more proud of myself for TODAY! Yes, its only day one of my new streak, and 1 is such a small number compared to 290. But I'm proud of that lovely little "1", because of what it represents.
In the past, a binge would mean that I was totally off track. One bad day would ALWAYS lead to two bad days....or a week of bad days...or a month of bad days....or even several months of bad days. Falling off the wagon always meant a huge struggle to get myself back on the wagon again, with lots of self disgust and anger...and then giving up for a while.
But not this time! This time my binge was just one bad meal....not one bad day. I was angry and frustrated with myself for giving in to the junk food, but I picked myself right back up and got right back on track again. I didn't beat myself up for the slip. I didn't starve myself for the rest of the day to make up for the binge. I forgave myself and realized that it was just one moment of weakness. I realized that one bad moment didn't have to lead to one bad day.
When I woke up this morning, I had almost forgotten all about yesterdays binge! (I was reminded quickly, though, when I logged on to Sparks and saw that my blog from yesterday was a featured blog, lol.) But I didn't feel any regret for what I did yesterday. I actually felt optimistic and eager to start on my brand new day one!
This is my lifestyle now. Its not just a temporary diet. There will be bad days from time to time, but I know that I am strong enough to get back on track when those bad days happen. I know I will never give up on myself and my quest to be as healthy as I possibly can. I have no idea how long this new streak will last, but in the end it doesn't matter. As long as I keep putting forth my best effort to have more good days than bad ones, I will reach any goal I set for myself.
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